Two weeks ago I cut my hair into a pixie.
Except it was still quite long on top. Some people questioned if it was actually a pixie. And, while it was definitely super short for me, the shortest my hair had ever been, it wasn’t quite what I wanted my hair to look like.
So I called my hair boyfriend and asked if he could take a little more off. A week later he did. And I was like, OK, that’s better…. now it’s a pixie.
And it was definitely a pixie. But it was still didn’t sit quite right. Too puffy on the top and the sides. I couldn’t quite figure out how to style it and while I felt better about it at first, after another week I did not feel great about it. Eh, I thought. Maybe I’m just not a pixie girl and now I know. I had done the brave thing with my hair and now I knew.
But I wasn’t being brave. I was trying to have a pixie cut, while still holding on to some length. What? Short hair is not having length. I know that. But I didn’t want to go too short. Just keep a little length just in case.
In case of what?
In case I don’t like it and want to grow it right back out.
OK, but it seems like you don’t like it because you’re not getting it cut short enough.
OK, whatever subconscious brain. I think I know what I’m talking abo… wait a second! I realized that I was trying to have long hair and short hair at the same time and it was not working.
So I went in one more time last week and went full throttle pixie. I finally DID IT. And I finally like it. Well, I like it better.
The truth is I don’t think I’m a pixie girl at heart. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it. There is the chance that I’m just not used to it still, so maybe I’ll grow into it, but the truth is I was still in love with my previous cut, I just knew if I didn’t chop if off now I’ll probably never do it. Most likely, I’ll grow it right back out.
While I don’t love my pixie cut, I DO love that I did it. It may have taken me 3 cuts in 3 weeks, but I did it. I cannot overstate enough how I NEVER thought I’d cut my hair this short and it’s been a liberating experience. To have felt so tied to my hair my whole life and the feeling that it was so important, to now realizing that I can chop it all off and no matter what–even if it sucks (and it doesn’t suck)–everything is going to be fine.
I know. A pathetically small risk in reality, but internally I had given this particular risk so much weight. It reminds me of a line from the movie Penelope: “It’s not the power of the curse, it’s the power you give the curse.”
My hair certainly isn’t a curse, but giving too much power to any one thing in your life can feel like a curse. For better or for worse, this is me for the foreseeable future.
My current motto:
Short hair, don’t care.
Anyone else ever try to do a brave new thing and find yourself still trying to keep a foot in the door of the past? Doesn’t work very well does it. In today’s world it seems silly to think so much about a haircut when there are much bigger fish to fry. But this small act of bravery has had a rippling effect. For example, ever since I significantly cut my hair last March and again with my recent pixie, I’ve noticed that even when I’m having a bad hair day, I care so much less then when I was having a bad hair day with long hair. Once I walk out the door I don’t care what my hair looks like and I don’t think about it. For some reason cutting my hair has seemed to loosen some sort of vanity grip on myself and that leaves me with more time to think about other more pressing issues. Anyone else relate? How has a small change made a big impact in your life?
Lastly, I asked you guys for Fall Song recommendations on Instagram and I’ve put together a killer 2018 Fall Playlist on Spotitfy. Thanks for your help! And let me know if there are any more songs you think I should add. Here it is:
This is my favorite hair style on you! It fits your face and highlights your features so well. Very beautiful. You look so much younger, too! 🙂
Well thanks. I think since I'm still learning how to style it and how I like it to look, I'm not quite there yet with loving it. But when it's done just right, I dig it.
Not too many women can rock a Pixie, I think you look gorgeous!
I actually think a lot of women can rock a pixie…but thank you!
I listen to the Affirmation Podcast, and in one episode she says, “I know I cannot take two roads at the same time.” Seems fitting!
Yes–or the line from a movie, "You can ride two horses with one ass sweetheart." 😉
It's perfect. Seriously the best haircut. You look amazing.
Thank you. It also helps to know that the pictures I chose are the ones where my hair looks the best. I'm having a hard time keeping it consistant and finding how to style it *just right.*
If had your jaw and gorgeous neck I would only ever wear short hair. It's absolutely the chicest haircut – feminine and smart and grownup and flattering and stylish and so much lighter. Perfection.
Love the playlist. Not sure this is a fall song, but we are loving Brynn Elliott's "Might Not Like Me." 🙂
I love it!
i dyed my dark brown hair BLEACH blonde on a whim one day in college after the stylist said he'd do it for me for free. It went back to brown pretty quickly after that but I'm SOOO glad that I did it. I also had short pixie hair for a few years around that time too and I loved how easy it was to maintain! (no cheating and just putting it up in a pony tail all the time.)
My favorite look was the messy-bed head style. Shower, towel-dry, and GO. If you really want use a straightener to add a little bit of wave to the "length" for extra body and movement. Easy Peasy.
love the haircut on you