Is this thing on? I’m s l o w l y starting to emerge from a baby coma. The good news: So far (knock on wood) she’s a delightful little baby. She still sleeps a lot (knock on wood) and in general has an easy going disposition. (Ahem…knock on wood). Her sisters love and adore...
A week ago today this sweet little babe came into the world. We love her! She came a bit early and was cutting it close to a Christmas birthday, but we’re so happy she’s here. She has the trademark dimple in her chin just like her sisters, but came with a full head of hair...
- Derek and EricaDecember 30, 2013 - 1:33 pm
- CaramellsweetsDecember 30, 2013 - 3:37 pm
- London CharmDecember 30, 2013 - 3:44 pm
- Cindy WagnerDecember 30, 2013 - 8:47 pm
- Adrie PetersonDecember 31, 2013 - 6:20 am
- Kristen TragethonJanuary 2, 2014 - 3:16 pm
- Lauren in GAJanuary 4, 2014 - 8:35 pm
- miss diddlyJanuary 5, 2014 - 1:20 am
- Faux FuchsiaJanuary 6, 2014 - 1:25 am
- vdg familyJanuary 10, 2014 - 3:01 am
- The Special RedsJanuary 10, 2014 - 7:19 am
the annual making of the marshmallows with our friends. you can get the recipe here. Yesterday was my last “free” day with both girls at school and being all by myself before the baby comes, as we start Christmas break next week. So I took advantage and had a last-day-to-myself-extravangaza including a leisurely...
- jenn potterJanuary 8, 2014 - 3:48 am
I love this! I tried to comment on your baby post and it won't let me. I want to comment on this one anyway because I love that gift from PSP. Seriously, nothing better than a homemade gift from a sibling. I love it. Congratulations dear friend! I have been thinking about you and that wonderful family of yours!ReplyCancel
Last week a friend asked me how I’m feeling about the impending arrival of our little baby girl. I found myself stumbling over my words as I talked about feeling excited, but also about feeling nervous. With both of my kids I’ve had a healthy dose of postpartum depression and while that doesn’t necessarily mean...
- AnonymousDecember 16, 2013 - 4:58 pm
Oh my, this hit home. I had a similar situation to yours in that with the first child I had a hard time adjusting to a new life (and realizing what "babies can be hard" REALLY meant). Then, the second time I had a colicky baby who screamed all the time (or we were spending every bit of effort to keep him from crying). I was fine until that started – and so I do agree that the actual baby has a lot to do with PPD. I remember one night when I couldn't sleep (a side product of PPD) and knew that not being able to sleep would make things worse and I just feared that I'd end up being hospitalized (which, luckily, I wasn't). I woke that morning, called my midwife and said "I need help". I ended up on meds too because I just couldn't handle it and was having panic attacks from the screaming that would sometimes start in the morning and be an issue more or less all day. (It turned out he had silent reflux as well as your usual colic). It was probably the hardest period of my life so far and I can only agree with the things you've written here about the importance of support. I completely understand your fears going into it this third time, but I know you'll be fine. You've weathered it twice, have a plan and clearly have great support. If you have some tough times, you know you'll make it through and will have a wonderful person in your life forever more. Thanks for addressing this topic and making it less taboo! – SuzanneReplyCancel
- Adrie PetersonDecember 16, 2013 - 5:20 pm
Miggy, you are an amazing woman. I'm so sorry for your struggles, but in the same breath, I'm grateful you are able to help so many mothers with your honesty. I will pray for you that things will go well for you and your awesome family. I feel confident in saying that your life is truly an inspiration for many! 🙂ReplyCancel
- bonnieporter7December 16, 2013 - 5:21 pm
While I have never had your exact experiences when one of my sons was born I was to tired to feel anything. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep. I think its more common that women feel that way but its hard to say I was handed this tiny red baby and I didn't even feel anything, I just wanted to curl up and sleep. When everyone else says they are feeling this amazing love thing. I am glad you posted this. Its real and emotional. We all try to show our perfect side and so we do not know that everyone else is really just muddling along like we are. ReplyCancel
- HeatherDecember 16, 2013 - 6:02 pm
What a helpful post! I haven't read much about PPD but it seems like everything I've seen says: 1. it's okay to have PPD and 2. talk to your Dr. That is not very helpful. I love all of your ideas and I am so touched by the enormous service given by your friend. One thing I found helpful was having a regularly scheduled playdate out of the house for my older child. With both of my kids it has taken me a few months to "fall in love" with them. I hope when/if I have another baby I will be better about giving myself permission to take the time necessary to develop that relationship instead of feeling guilty. Thanks again for sharing and best wishes (and prayers)!! It sounds like you have good help lined up but I'm here as another option if you need it- just send me an e-mail if I can help.ReplyCancel
- LivDecember 16, 2013 - 6:23 pm
Thank you for sharing this. I was so unprepared for how much I felt I HATED motherhood when my daughter was born. I was miserable, overwhelmed and felt so isolated because every other friend who had a new baby was over-the-moon with happiness. I hope your experiences with #3 are better than you could imagine. You're setting a wonderful example by being proactive now.ReplyCancel
- Jen ReevesDecember 16, 2013 - 6:56 pm
This was incredibly brave and I am so amazed by your ability to reach out and ask for help. I don't know if you keep up with Postpartum Progress, but it's an incredible community: http://www.postpartumprogress.com/ReplyCancel
- AnonymousDecember 16, 2013 - 7:43 pm
I had severe PPD after my third pregnancy (a son, after having 2 girls – I wonder if the different hormones from a boy is what caused it to be so bad). The scary thing is that I truly felt like everything was fine. I loved my baby more than anything, and I didn't feel too overwhelned with the care of him. I just had extreme feelings of sadness. Since my feelings of sadness weren't about my baby, I didn't even recognize that it was a problem. I have a part time job, and I can remember just sitting at my computer with tears running down my face (almost every day). The reason I knew it was PPD though, was that after 6 months of this extreme sadness, one day I felt like a dark cloud had suddenly lifted. And it was over. Then I looked back and realized how very bad I was. I wish so much that I could have recognized this before, and gotten medication. I know for sure that I needed something, and was having very irrational thoughts (which I couldn't recognize as irrational at the time) through all of it.
I think it is wonderful that you know this about yourself, and have started to prepare for this. I know that if it does hit, that it will still be so difficult, but at least you are getting yourself the help that you need. I wish that I could have recognized what was happening to me, and gotten the help I needed. I pray that somehow this one will just be easier for you.
SarahReplyCancel - AnonymousDecember 16, 2013 - 8:43 pm
What you say about not thinking rationally when you're "in" it rings so true for me. I had PPD with my first child, and then when I had it again with my second, I was in complete denial. My friends and my husband said to me, "You are acting the way you did when S was born. I think you have PPD again," and I truly thought they were wrong. I felt completely different the second time, with feelings of complete worthlessness and guilt that I was not only not caring for my newborn well, but neglecting my 2 year old by spending time with the newborn. I never got baby #2 to nurse successfully, so I gave up and put her on a bottle (and felt terrible about this). When the clouds finally lifted, I realized that I had been suffering from PPD again and I had let myself suffer for 10 months for no reason. I should have gone on medication or asked for help, like you did. I felt like if I asked my friends for help, they would say, WHY DID YOU HAVE ANOTHER BABY WHEN YOU SUFFERED SO MUCH THE FIRST TIME?? Which they would never say, but that's how I felt at the time.ReplyCancel
- MichelleDecember 16, 2013 - 9:12 pm
Miggy, thank you for this!
I'm struggling with PPD again, after having my fourth. I had it after my second for a long time, and very briefly after my third (which was more related to a long trip my husband went on at the peak fussiness…once he got home and the baby got a little easier, the PPD went away.) But this time PPD has struck hard. Like you, it's been incredibly hard for me to admit to myself that I am struggling. For me, the biggest indicator is that I feel overwhelmed constantly. Everything is "too much." I struggle keeping up with the most basic of tasks because even folding one load of laundry seems insurmountable.
Because this isn't my first rodeo, I'm able to identify triggers: Lack of sleep, chaos, dirty house, busy husband, too much to do, far away from family– those start me on the downward spiral. The hard part of course is that my husband's in grad school, I have three other children and my baby is 8 months old, so I think I should be able to do everything again and I'm not thinking in "newborn mode".
One of the biggest triggers for this time is lack of sleep, because my baby has a metabolic disorder and I have to feed her several times a night. At 8 months, I typically wake up 3 times a night with her. Compared to her at 4 months (5x a night), I feel rested. But I'm not and it significantly affects my PPD.
Coping mechanisms? Naps. Chocolate, but only very small amounts as large amounts make PPD worse for me. LOTS of fruits and vegetables, healthy, healthy foods. Exercise. I've started training for a half marathon, which sounds crazy when I think about everything going on in my life. But running 4 miles 3x a week has been keeping me off medication. Sunshine. Lots, and lots of sunshine. We moved to Savannah this summer and while being away from family has been hard and definitely contributed to PPD, the sunshine is a HUGE help. The ocean. Scriptures and lots of prayer. If I actually do all these things, I can cope with PPD. If I don't, then it's horrible. I haven't been coping well lately, so it may be medication again for me. But that's okay.
Good luck. I wish you the best. As the mother of four girls, welcome to the "lots of girls" club! It's a blast! I never imagined I'd have four girls, always thought of myself as more of a "boys" mom, but I wouldn't trade it.
You'll be fine. Realization is the hardest step. Keep being honest, keep asking for help.ReplyCancel
- AnonymousDecember 16, 2013 - 9:21 pm
- Cindy WagnerDecember 16, 2013 - 10:17 pm
If I lived near you I would volunteer to be on your call list! I believe I suffered from PPD after the birth of my twins almost 19 *gasp* years ago but never was officially diagnosed. Like you, I was functioning fine the first couple of months and then the fun began. I think it was at its worst when the boys were about 10 months old. I even lost some friends due to my anxiety and "freaking out" episodes. I didn't have family close by and wasn't especially close to them anyway so that wouldn't have helped. And I didn't have a network of friends or even church contacts. I was completely alone; my ex-husband was distant and blamed me for not putting him first and making his life difficult by asking him to be home (that was more during the first 1-6 months). It helped when I went back to work part time at night even though I sorely missed the nighttime rituals. I know working isn't the answer for everyone but that was the only time I was truly away from the home by myself and it allowed me to "shelve" my issues for a few hours a day. I did end up connecting with a group for multiple births and the friends I made there made a big difference.
Your post will help mothers out there who may go thru PPD, have gone thru it, or like me, didn't even know they went thru it until years later. Thank you for being so transparent and brave; and for believing in yourself.ReplyCancel - AnonymousDecember 17, 2013 - 12:40 am
This will help so many. I love your analogy of the full body cast. I've suffered from depression my whole life and PPD on top of that. Even though I've taken medication and benefitted going to therapy for years, only recently have I begun to feel more confident about my needs and advocate for myself and not feel guilty and like I'm making it all up in my head. Elder Holland's talk was monumental and I hope it helps people too. You are amazing. Thank you. ReplyCancel
- AnonymousDecember 17, 2013 - 1:02 am
I had a really tough time with my first, Albie, but so much of it was entwined with his heart condition ( http://www.thislittlemiggy.com/2013/02/special-needs-spotlight-albie.html ) that it is so hard to know what was that and what was PPD.
It must be the week for braveness though! I've just written about how my fear of the first months of motherhood has shaded this pregnancy – which by all accounts is a healthy one, http://mrwrigglesworth.wordpress.com/2013/12/17/how-expecting-a-healthy-baby-after-a-medically-fragile-one-is-as-scary-as-it-is-awesome/
I wish you grace and a gentle third time around, xx SarahReplyCancel
- ErinDecember 17, 2013 - 3:50 am
Your honesty and vulnerability are beautiful and powerful… thank you so much for sharing your experiences. That was so brave and was extremely helpful to read.
I second what Sarah said- I wish you a gentle third time around as well, but if it's hard again, you undoubtedly will handle it with as much courage as the first two. You are amazing.ReplyCancel
- AnonymousDecember 17, 2013 - 4:58 am
Thank you so much for writing this! I am due with my second baby girl in April and am having some anxiety over the postpartum period. After having my daughter three years ago I suffered severe postpartum anxiety and had a bit of depression, I literally felt like I was dying and ended up in the hospital several times. I learned to "coach" myself through my anxiety attacks and was able to return back to normal several months after my daughter's birth. It is reassuring to see that I am not alone and can overcome this again, if it should happen. After reading this post I am definitely going to try your method of taking a shower and getting dressed everyday, I stayed in my pajamas and didn't even shower for days when my daughter was first born and looking back, I think that contributed to a lot of my depression. Again, thank you so much for this post 🙂ReplyCancel
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2013 - 4:22 am
Thank you so, so much for posting this. I think you explained postpartum depression in a way that will really resonate with so many women. I too suffered varying degrees of postpartum depression after all 4 of my births and it really wasn't until after I clawed my way through the worst of it after my 4th child was born that I even recognized what it was! I am now a childbirth educator and talk with all my clients about postpartum depression. I strongly advocate for women to stay grounded and also connected to the outside world. New motherhood can be isolating and terrifying, and yet who wants to admit to that?! I recommend to all my clients that they shower and get dressed completely every single day, and that they find a reason to leave the house each day. Just one errand, one "task" outside of the home (drop off library books, pick up dessert, exchange a duplicate baby gift…) A task that has value and will give the mum a sense of accomplishment and yet the world won't come crashing down if she doesn't get it done. It is amazing how fast the walls can close around a women when she is alone with a tiny squalling ball of baby! Your words are beautiful and gentle and I am genuinely impressed by how well you were able to communicate your needs and ask for help when you needed it. That is truly wonderful to read. I hope this birth is amazing and that you allow yourself the time to slowly, slowly enjoy all that you want it to be. xoxo K.ReplyCancel
- the DrollingersDecember 18, 2013 - 7:35 pm
Thanks for sharing this! I have been spared PPD but do take care of patients who have faced it. For women who have had significant PPD with prior pregnancies I sometimes offer starting medication immediately after delivery. Many of the SSRIs can take 4-6 weeks to really kick in so starting something immediately allows it to start to take effect before they hit their nadir. Best wishes this time around!ReplyCancel
- FeliciaDecember 18, 2013 - 8:38 pm
I really appreciate this post- As a mother of 4, I had mild PPD following their births, but the worst was the depression I experienced DURING my fourth pregnancy. It was so severe, I had lost all enjoyment and purpose in my life. Luckily, it subsided after birth, and I was able to take medication- I do believe education about PPD, during pregnancy depression, and any other type is key. Well written!ReplyCancel
- EmilyDecember 19, 2013 - 3:06 pm
Thank you for sharing your story. I think it is so helpful to others when they realize that they are not alone and it's okay to ask for help. That's my problem… I can't ask for help, I never have been able to. But, this weekend I am being induced with our second child, and while right now I feel confident and happy and secure, I know things can go downhill fast and I need to recognize that I can ask for help and it doesn't make me any less of a mom. With my first son I'm not sure what I had was PPD, but I was definitely some sort of baby blues. I cried a lot and apologized to my husband a lot for turning our lives upside down and I felt trapped by being home with the baby all day long. Then the non stop crying from reflux started and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Looking back I know I should have asked for help. Looking back, like you, I thought small things were huge catastrophies, and that is so not how I would "normally" handle things. So this time around I keep telling myself that most of the things I worried about with my first were over quickly. Those first four months or so were very hard, but also in the scheme of things, go by very quickly. I hope that when I am distraught over giving my son a pacifier or feeling tied to the house, that I can calmly repeat in my head that this is temporary. I'm praying that both of our game plans work this time around! Best wishes!!!ReplyCancel
- Emily NicollDecember 20, 2013 - 9:16 pm
Miggy, thank you for this post! I did a Special Needs Spotlight with you right when my son was born about 10 months ago in february. You wrote me an email about how you struggled to get into the groove of motherhood and I'm so grateful you have fully shared what you went through. When you wrote me that email, I think I was only 3 or 4 days postpartum but I was so sad and weepy all the time. As the days went by, I started to have anxiety attacks and I wasn't able to sleep, which made things so much harder. My husband is in medical school and so his days away from home were long and I was so lonely. It kind of all came to a head one morning when I had slept maybe 2 hours that night and he was getting ready to leave for the whole day. I broke down sobbing and told him I couldn't be alone and I didn't want to take care of our baby. It was so hard to admit that, but that's how I felt. I didn't want to take care of him. I knew that was so wrong but I couldn't help it. Ben went to his grandma's for the day and we got some medication for me. It took 2 weeks to start working which was a really long time and I tried everyday to control the depression and anxiety, doing a lot of the things you did. But it wasn't until the medication kicked in that I really felt like myself again. I cry just thinking back on that time because it was so difficult for me. I feel so many things- guilt, anxiety, sadness, etc. I am so nervous to have another baby. Thank you for your inspiring and honest words. Best of luck to you with your 3rd girl!
Love,
EmilyReplyCancel - TheresaDecember 26, 2013 - 5:38 pm
Thank you so much for this post.
I struggled with infertility for three years before my daughter was born. I had a history of PSTD and depression, so I knew that I was at risk for PPD. It hit hard about two weeks after my daughter was born. She was a very challenging baby – I needed to hold her non-stop (really, 23 hours a day) to keep her from crying. I wanted to be a mother for so long, and now that she was here, I couldn't do anything right. My husband had no leave from work. We had no friends or family in the area. I was dying.
I found comfort in a breastfeeding group offered at the hospital where I delivered. "Just make it until Friday," I would say over and over again to myself through the week. Although I was still very much struggling, I was no longer alone. The lactation consultant provided a lot of information about antidepressant medication and nursing, and that information provided me a great deal of comfort to know that it was okay to start medication. For me, I also got a lot of relief in returning to part-time work. I only had to work at the office one or two days a week, and while it posed a whole slew of other challenges, it was so comforting to be somewhere where I was good at something.
Again, thank you for posting. I hope to have another child again soon, and I am going to do all that I can to create a game plan for the second time around. ReplyCancel
- Sam AdamsJanuary 9, 2014 - 11:45 pm
MIggy, I was in labor with my second when you posted this so I only just read it. Thank you so much for writing this. You're description of PPD after baby #1 is exactly how I felt. Something I fully explained to my husband, I didn't know for sure if it was PPD, but now I do. This time around I really didn't want the same struggle so I incapsulated my placenta, I don't know if it's helping, but it's helping to try. my baby is three weeks now and just like you said the feeling is overwhelming. this baby is easier but now I have two little people! Thank you for your steps that helped you, I'll have to try those. ReplyCancel
- how to treat depressionMay 25, 2015 - 6:18 pm
Oh Miggy…Thank you such a great amount for sharing this.Your words helped me to remember how I felt in the dark days of PPD….the terrifying meddling contemplations,the crying around evening time,the blame,the shame,the uncomfortable questions.You are such an astonishing voice and I love that you are sharing this story with us.It needs to be listened.Have a good day.
- Abrielle19 SamsonNovember 22, 2016 - 7:07 am
Postpartum depression is a very serious issues among mothers who just gave birth and often neglected. A topic that is being discussed to Psychology students of http://essaywriting.education/ so they will be aware.
ReplyCancel - Visit Truck Accident Lawyers SiteFebruary 9, 2017 - 6:38 am
Part of being a good mother is knowing when to ask for help, so don't be afraid to ask for it during this difficult time. Let your partner know about different ways to help, whether it's taking care of the baby, handling chores, or going with you to doctor appointments. Relatives or close friends may be able to help as well.ReplyCancel
Hi friends. Wonder what I’ve been up to? I’ve been sewing doll clothes. Yeah. Doll clothes. Like a tiny little tailor I’ve made tiny little patterns, cut out tiny scraps of fabric and sewn them to other tiny scraps of fabric to make… you guessed it, tiny doll clothes. For some reason, I find this...
- CherylDecember 13, 2013 - 9:08 pm
- AubreyDecember 13, 2013 - 11:21 pm
This is amazing, these little doll clothes! I live in California, but do you know of a really good sewing class I can take to learn out to make (everything really) from skirts (probably easy) to, lets say leather jackets…any tips are appreciated. Thanks.
ps. I love your blog so much, I don't have any children yet (my youngest sibling is 16 years younger than myself though), I know Ruth – she has a daughter Davy (I think you've talked about her before…) I also read Mara's blog, ablogaboutloveReplyCancel
- MigonDecember 14, 2013 - 8:08 pm
Aubrey–I bet if you just google local sewing shops and make some calls you could find some sewing classes in a snap. That being said, I pretty much just bought a sewing machine one day and taught myself from there. It was definitely baby steps and I just asked a lot of friends to show me how to do little things, or I'd look up online tutorials, etc. I actually did a lot of hand sewing in college (like cutting up old t-shirts to make new ones) and just experimented that way because sewing machines intimidated me. But they're quite easy to get the hang of, and even a very basic machine can do a lot! Good luck! ReplyCancel
- ShaunaDecember 14, 2013 - 3:00 am
After I married a man raised in the third world I began to educate him on all the many occasions he was supposed to think of and present me with a gift. Even as I said it it seemed ridiculous and excessive. He educated me. I rarely get gifts from him for any occasion, but when I do they are thoughtful and genuine not obligatory. (Neither of us have the discipline to apply this to the kids, for good and ill)ReplyCancel
- MelanieDecember 14, 2013 - 3:17 am
- MigonDecember 14, 2013 - 8:15 pm
So push presents–yes! I agree there is something quite distasteful about the whole thing. Like we're taking one more sacred, amazing thing and commercializing it. And yes, what could be more precious and amazing than the BABY? Nothing.
BUT… here's the flip side of the coin for me. First my primary love language is gifts/surprises/special occasions and second, like what MJ said below, because I've had some pretty bad PPD I sorta like the idea of being recognized for being willing to do something that yes has a great reward on it's own, but has historically put me through the worst personal hell(s) I've known. In the long run the PPD seems like a drop in the bucket compared to every blessing my children are to me…but in the moment, wow…it's been very difficult.
- JessicaDecember 14, 2013 - 3:26 am
I love the clothes! So sweet, so heartwarming! I had to google push presents too. I think family is a gift.. time together is a gift.. the way the community comes together to celebrate a new baby and support the mother with food, visits, laundry folding, etc. is a gift.. the idea of using birth to get some material object is bizarre. Go with your heart, as usual.ReplyCancel
- mjDecember 14, 2013 - 4:05 am
I used to think "push presents" were pretty ridiculous. And I guess I still think lavish jewelry would be way over-the-top, but then again I'm not into jewelry. However, two kids later and two post-partum depressions later and it's like yeah maybe I wouldn't mind if somebody got something just for me to remind me I'm a person. Not for the pushing part so much as the baby blues-and-a-half part. But really what I would want is just a chance to go on a walk every day or something.ReplyCancel
- AnonymousDecember 14, 2013 - 1:17 pm
Here's how we handled push presents. My husband presented me with a small diamond ring for our first, pearls for the second. Then I had a second trimester loss. Then another child. He offered push presents for both of those children but I opted to donate the money he would have spent to a children's charity that treats children born with the condition that caused my loss. For my loss, no gift would have helped me feel better and the money certainly is more useful to the charity than on my hand. More than anything, I feel like my last child was the biggest gift in the world and did not want a thing. In retrospect, I think of my naive, silly self before my loss and realize that the baby, truly, is the best push present of all.ReplyCancel
- JocelynDecember 14, 2013 - 4:03 pm
I am firmly in the camp of no push presents. To me, a baby is the BEST gift one could get. I also look at is as a way to negate the birth of a child. I have heard so many women say 'Oh look at what I got as a push present" The push present becomes the focus of having a baby, not the birth of another miracle. ReplyCancel
- MigonDecember 14, 2013 - 8:21 pm
Ugh! Agreed…that is silly and ridiculous. I guess I hate that it has this official name 'push present' and has become a thing. For me, if my husband chose to get me something during that difficult post partum time just to say I love you it would be meaningful to me, but yeah…I guess this idea of associating it with birth and like there should be some payoff just because you did it–well I don't like that at all. See my comments above for more clarity. ReplyCancel
- JocelynDecember 15, 2013 - 3:49 am
If you are looking for something to get you thru postpartum you could ask for a coupon book of things he could do to help you out after you give birth. Like maybe he could get up with the babe in the middle of the night, send you off to the spa for a massage, take the kids for a walk so you could nap. I know I sound super old fashioned. I think it's just the term that drives me insane. The ones that really drive me insane is when I am reading a magazine and it's like "so and so got a 10 carat ring as a push present" blah. really? Letting your hubby know what he can do to help you out postpartum is AMAZING!
Whatever you decide to do is right for you and your family. ReplyCancel
- karaDecember 14, 2013 - 5:59 pm
Aw, doll clothes! I totally agree. I got hooked a few years ago making gifts for friends' kids. It is so satisfying to work on something so tiny. Of course, the frustration level can be pretty high, too, but in general it is fun to see something come together so quickly. I started making dolls, too– watch out it is a slippery slope! 🙂 (some of my work is on etsy… etsy.com/shop/MilkPailCrafts) Your girls are going to be thrilled to receive your handiwork!!ReplyCancel
- HeidiAnnDecember 14, 2013 - 8:23 pm
Here's my opinion on push presents: People who will never have to do the pushing don't get to have an opinion on push presents (within reason, no one should break the bank, of course). I say if you want a push present, you should have one. I've had terrible PPD with all five of mine, and yes, a present does help me a little bit. Not everyone is like that though. My firm belief is if you are a new or new-again mom, you should have some special treatment, and if for you that's a push present, so be it. You've grown a freaking human for the better part of a year, for Pete's sake!
ReplyCancel - London CharmDecember 14, 2013 - 9:35 pm
- London CharmDecember 14, 2013 - 9:41 pm
- AnonymousDecember 15, 2013 - 2:50 am
Back before "push presents" were a thing, I had a one year old son and was pregnant with my daughter. Back to back pregnancies were a toll on my body and my fingers were too swollen for my wedding ring. It made me sad to not wear it because of what it represented, so my sweet husband bought me a ring to wear while I was pregnant. It was a nice ring, but not an expensive ring, and what I love most about it 10 years later is showing it to my daughter and telling her the story. She loves to look at it and knows when she gets old enough I will give it to her. I love having that "something" that was special to that pregnancy and that I can look at and remember that time – because time flies! So I don't know about a "push present" per say, as mine was more of a "fat lady pregnancy gift", but I love having that ring as a reminder of that moment in time. I probably treasure it more than if it was something I got after the baby was born (other than the baby itself, of course). I am so excited for you and your new addition! –ReplyCancel
- MelissaDecember 15, 2013 - 3:23 am
My hubs is amazing and, honestly, spoils me rotten all year long. However when I've just had a baby? He struggles and if he remembers to ask me how I'm feeling I call it good. So, no push presents or flowers or anything much for new babes at this house. He just told me to hit up a "secret" VS semi annual sale tomorrow, so I guess he makes up for it 😉 .ReplyCancel
- LisaDecember 15, 2013 - 3:25 am
No ring or present could ever take away from the special time of having of a baby! A push present is a thank you and an acknowledgement of all having a baby does to a woman's body and soul, during and after birth. My push present is a ring of my son's birthstone, a peridot– and I love it. It is so precious to me, because it reminds me of him, and of our birth story, and of the very day I became a mother to him. ReplyCancel
- rebeccaDecember 16, 2013 - 1:38 am
- heidiDecember 29, 2013 - 3:08 am
I'm all about presents all the time, but the term "push present" is what I find off-putting. The few people i know who expect push presents asked me what i was getting way before i was even showing. It seemed more like another component of the hot, young moms competion rather than a loving gesture. How about, "here's a surprise bc I love you gift"? After my last baby, my husband brought me my favorite dinner and an iTunes gift card bc he knew how much I missed running. And I didn't go call anyone up and tell them about it bc it wasnt like that at all. (Steps off soapbox)ReplyCancel
I still remember making my first homemade snow globe at a church activity when I was probably about 6 years old. I haven’t made one since. This is one of those crafts that takes a little effort as many of these supplies aren’t readily on hand and often that extra effort steers me away from...
- AnonymousDecember 11, 2013 - 9:35 pm
I tried emailing you this with no luck, wanted you to see it-
http://www.noondaycollection.com/blog-1/on-being-different-tessa-s-update
- vdg familyDecember 14, 2013 - 6:54 am
I’m in the final weeks of my pregnancy and while I have no proof, I think this baby is trying to kill me. Slowly. Systematically. Thus my energy is being used very judiciously these days. Not necessarily the bare minimum, because Christmas and nesting require a little more than the bare minimum, but much more...
- TriciaDecember 6, 2013 - 3:28 pm
first time poster / long time reader – LOVED this book! We have a 9 yr old with special needs (heart) which are "invisible" to the outsider, but this book spoke to me. My 13 year old read it and loved it. Her sister's heart issues are harder for her than anyone else. I'm ready to hand the book to my 9 yr old to read.ReplyCancel
- rebeccaDecember 6, 2013 - 7:10 pm
Yes, yes! I have commented on your blog in the past in response to discussions about the questions and comments we get about our kiddos as I have a four year old daughter with a craniofacial and a hand difference. It happens that my husband was working with a guy who wife was the publisher of Wonder around the time it was released. He told my husband about it and I read it and loved it. My older daughter has also read it and I completely agree that, whatever our differences (and we all have them, visible or not), it is a great statement about acceptance and love. I did not know the history behind the idea for the book, though. That is awesome! Thanks for sharing. Congratulations on your upcoming new arrival! RebeccaReplyCancel
- AnonymousDecember 6, 2013 - 8:19 pm
Can't wait to read this to Kalvin. I just ordered it on Amazon to read myself first. The story of the author was amazing as well. Loved her questions and answers and how she wrote the book between 12 and 3 am!! Wow-How inspirtional is she. Good luck with the little one. Hang in there. XOXO Kristen at onein1hundred.blogspot.comReplyCancel
- BetsyDecember 6, 2013 - 10:32 pm
- AnonymousDecember 7, 2013 - 12:53 am
Will check out the book.
Unrelated but I think very cool. And no, not spam or porn 🙂
http://www.weather.com/weather-films/shows/i-am-unstoppable/ep06.html - EllieDecember 7, 2013 - 1:01 am
I loved the book and love even more that my 10 years old loved it along with me, which is rare. There is some criticism for the unfortunate use of the word retard, but all the other thousands of words are great. To me intellectual disability is the ultimate stigma, but not the worse diagnosis.ReplyCancel
- MigonDecember 7, 2013 - 1:51 am
Ellie–So glad your 10 year old loved it…I think the fact that this book seems to be speaking so much to kids that age is a great sign. I don't specifically remember the use of the "r" word but I'm guessing it was used by characters who are the type to use it in real life–like the author was trying to make a point. That's my take at least. And I will agree that intellectual/mental disabilities are often among the most discriminated against. That being said, I do believe the Down Syndrome community has a lot of support both within the community and out. Which is a great thing! ReplyCancel
- Betsy P.December 8, 2013 - 2:17 am
Both my daughters loved this book, but it particularly affected my 9 year old, Phoebe, who recently has a close friend with cerebral palsy who can't run and play at recess. Phoebe brought this book in to her teacher and asked her to read it to her 4th grade class. Initially the teacher said, I'll just show them the book and suggest that they read it on their own, but Phoebe pestered her every day for weeks and finally her teacher started reading it to her class. The kids all loved it and wanted to do a project on it. An amazing and inspiring book! And congratulations on the new addition. Phoebe always reads your blog over my shoulder and is excited for Lamp to be a big sis! Also she suggests the name Phoebe for the new babe.
ReplyCancel
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
categories
purchase when charley met emma
Let's be friends!
© 2025 This Little Miggy|ProPhoto Photo Theme|Designed by Hirschi Creative
as far as sleep goes – use lavender essential oil if you haven't already. you can rub a drop or two on your feet before bed, or you can get an oil diffuser. that way it would help out everyone! hope that helps! glad to hear everything else is going well. : )
I think this is hilarous:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151095136123386&set=a.10150103050563386.275466.190558433385&type=1&theater
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/raquel-dapice/10-month-olds-letter-to-santa_b_4427512.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFQfylQ2Jgg&feature=share
There is this girl I follow on Instagram that I really like (thealisonshow) and she just hosted an IG dance off. Search the #alisondanceoff (only one l) it's hilarious because it's just a bunch of moms dancing like crazy people. I'm glad you and baby are doing well!
My bad #alisonsdanceoff
Hi Miggy, I am 8.5 months pregnant and very uncomfortable, so I don't find much funny these days.So I'm no help there. BUT I was having trouble sleeping in about the sixth month and my doctor advised Benadryl (the one for allergies) to help me sleep. She says it is very gentle and is fine for pregnant and nursing mothers. And it worked beautifully. After a few nights of taking it, I started feeling sleepy on my own around 9 p.m. and could sleep until morning without the Benadryl. Maybe ask your doctor about it if you are nervous about trying it.
I was going to suggest Benadryl as well! I really needed it after my third – I could fall asleep fine, but would wake up at 4 am and not be able to get back to sleep – it really helped me.
Hyland's Calms Forte, is homeopathic, and helpful. My daughter has always been very loud, we found the perfect book for her, " Too Loud Lily", by Sophie Laguna. It's a cute story where she's always getting in trouble for being too loud, but then gets a new teacher that appreciates her loudness. It helped us to address it in a positive way. We still remind her to turn down the volume by saying "Too Loud Lili" and she's 12! ;o)
Glad things are going well besides the sleeping. I've used melatonin in the past when I've had trouble falling asleep. Not recommended for long term usage but for a few months it is fine. Also, Tylenol PM is my drug of choice for those random nights that I'm tossing and turning or feeling crappy or want to guarantee a good nights sleep. Anything with diphenhydramine (that's what's in Benadryl too) should work and is fine for nursing moms.
Something funny……Have you ever heard of Kid History or Kid Snippets? Sooooooo funny! My kids and I are addicted to watching them. They come out with a new one every Monday. Here's a link to just one of them that is funny and addresses the problem of talking too loudly 🙂 There's a ton of them on Youtube.
http://youtu.be/0Hk28DFxLbY
Oh and this is my all time favorite one.
http://youtu.be/fh0NLQJfAYU
check out mandatory.com- then click "awesome"- they have daily funny pics soooo funny!!
Melatonin is always helpful for me. Glad all things are going well. The PPD post was beyond words. Being a NICU nurse, I have shared the post with some fellow work friends and some even new nicu moms. Strong powerful words from one incredible woman. Glad your hubby still has some time at home. Take it easy. Relax. and a delayed congratulations!
I have a daughter that has no volume control. She is so loud all the time. She is 8 now and we still have to remind her when we are in the car that it is an enclosed space and she needs to bring it down or anywhere else for that matter. Good luck! Maybe her noise will help the baby be less sensitive to every noise 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PVhIMr4ScI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I03UmJbK0lA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1yir-p68xM
You asked! We are Canadian so we don't get these commercials up here. My boy's favorite is the Joe Boxer one. Best part is is I was going to get into the car one day and he was standing there wiggling back and forth and I asked him what was up. He said "Oh you know, just ringing the bells." I LOVE my 1 year old boy! He is hilarious!
About Sleep! I'm your woman! For you I'd say it will probably calm a bit when your medication kicks in. But in the meantime…maybe see a naturopath? They're great about finding herbs and whatnot that are helpful and also safe for breastfeeding (if you're nursing).
In general, the largest thing that has helped is the hardest: letting go of the idea of sleeping. Just let it go completely. It's ok if you don't sleep while she sleeps. You will survive. You WILL sleep eventually. "But what if I don't?!?!" You WILL. "But what if I DON'T?!??!" You WILL. Meanwhile, you might as well entertain yourself with a book or some music. No screens…the blue glare is anti-sleep. Maybe you'll fall asleep with your face in the book. It happens.
I also find it helpful to turn the lights down little by little, over the course of the evening. Sometimes I'll read by headlamp turned on low, rather than ambient light (helpful for bed partners, too). And put a night light or some twinkly lights in your bathroom, so you don't have to turn on the "big" light when you get up to pee, or go in to pee one last time.
Get gentle exercise each day–just a nice walk. It will help you heal your body, and is regulatory to your sensory system and mind, with the "pounding" of your feet into the ground.
Be warm enough to sleep but not too warm. The baby will be warm enough–she has lots of cozy clothes. Also engage the principle of "neutral warmth" i.e. swaddle yourself. If you cuddle with your husband, that sensation of being wrapped up works. Otherwise a smallish blanket just over your trunk, or even just wrapped around your torso snugly, can work. It's another sensory regulation trick. And because it's a small blanket, you can get out of it easily to nurse.
I like "calming" or "stress relieving" teas, but I'm not sure what's safe for nursing–chamomile isn't, I don't think, but you should get a more informed opinion on that one!
Massages produce endorphins that last for hours, which can help sleep.
And lastly, I have loved meditation since I started it a few months ago. LOVED. I noticed a change in the quality of my sleep right away. I have the biggest problem in falling asleep–I can get up and go right back down again, but it's the initial falling asleep that produces anxiety. Clearly, anxiety is my main thing, but meditation has been proven to work well, even better, for depression too. I read the book "Mindfulness" by Mark Williams, which comes with an eight-week guided meditation series. Fantastic. There are free guided meditations everywhere online, but that can be overwhelming, which is why I mentioned that book specifically. It has a website with the meditation tracks, too, which can be loaded into iTunes. There are a couple episodes of OnBeing that are meditation specific–if you're interested, email me, and I'll be happy to pass on links. I found it helpful just knowing the resource was out there and had worked really well for others, so even though the radio programs weren't meditations per se, they were calming. And just because, this is my favorite meditation I've found: http://www.onbeing.org/program/what-we-nurture/feature/lovingkindness-metta-meditation/337
All the best to you and your beautiful family!
Oh! And fun things:
Darlingest, most talented ever (both of them): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpu0TIXzI1w
Cats won't let dogs walk by: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7znI_Kpzbs
Rod Stryker meditation CDs… Have chronic illness which forces me to ingest steroids at times. Steroids keep me up and make me anxious… I love his CDs, they help, they really do! Congrats on your doll baby!
This is in a different language, but the video really needs no translation. Makes me laugh every time!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXPQY_VRP6M
Here are my two favorite jokes for you, in no particular order 🙂
1. I was walking on the beach the other day and I was shocked to hear a man in the water yelling, "HELP, SHARK!!!!"
It really upset me because I knew the shark wouldn't help him.
2. Baby brother snake slithered up to big brother snake and asked with his little voice trembling and sad snake tears forming in his little eyes, "Big brother snake *sniff*…are we the poisonous kinds of snakes? *sniff*"
Big brother snake turned to baby brother snake and replied, "I dunno…why?"
Baby brother snake responded tearily, " 'Cause I just bit my tongue…"
Thank you, thank you…I'll be here all week 😉
Yay! I'm so glad things are going well. I'm dying to know what you named baby girl. Hee hee. I had to laugh about the loud voice of your teeny three year old! I remember having a friend do the same thing with her three year old and get her hearing checked! The doc said it's just a thing a lot of kids go through! Charlie can whisper everywhere but sacrament meeting at church. It's a phenomenon! Good luck with everything. I'm rooting for you!
No…I really will be here all week…my kids are sick again…like, seriously…
Try the Pzizz app (I think its iphone/droid friendly). It's a little weird, but when my husband and I use it for a few nights in a row, it REALLY works. As an example, I can never sleep on planes. We had a red eye flight to NYC and was trying, but tossing and turning horribly. I put my headphones in, turned on pzizz and was asleep in minutes.
I have anxiety issues and thyroid probs that make it extremely difficult for me to sleep. My doc recommended melatonin (even when I was BFing, but ask your doc to be sure). It's helped a lot. There's also benadryl (which *may* affect milk supply–so again ask your doc). And lastly, white noise. With my 3rd (and latest) babe I said, "screw trying to hear for them. I NEED my big ole fan. When he's really awake I will hear him, but I don't need to hear every fart, sigh, etc each night." I also suffer from severe PPD–way to go for you to be proactive with the meds. I def noticed a difference this time around because I did the same thing (meds right away with #3).
If you haven't yet checked out Elizabeth's first YouTube link, GO DO IT. RIGHT NOW!!! It is such a cute and awesome video. I was actually really bummed when I realized someone had already sent that to you. It was the first thing I thought of when you asked for submissions.
But don't worry. I have more up my sleeve. You'll be hearing from me next week. We've got to string this stuff out… 🙂
A little funny…I teach kindergarten. Around the second day or so, I finally had them all busy and quiet at their seats while I snuck across the room to put some notes in their mailboxes. No sooner had a started and a little girl came running to me to tell me "Chad said the F word". I wasn't alarmed, the F word in Kindergarten is fart and the S word is always stupid or shut up. Before I could even respond, Chad stood up and yelled across the room, "UH UH, *UCK does not start with F!". Yes it does. Sit down. Note to self, Chad does not know the F sound.
Congratulations on your beautiful and precious baby! How I wish my third daughter was not so loud at four. And a link to Julia's latest post on embarrassing moments: julia.typepad.com/julia/
Hope you're still checking for funnies, because this is a good one. Audio of a dad interviewing his two young daughters about an unfortunate haircut the older sister gave to the younger one. (You might want to listen to this without Lamp and PSP in the room first. Don't want to give them any ideas!)
http://www.prx.org/pieces/73865-two-little-girls-explain-the-worst-haircut-ever
Best part – – – the story is being made into a book! Hope it turns into college funds for these girls. 🙂
http://www.harpercollinschildrens.com/books/Worst-Haircut-Ever
Dear Elizabeth (from above comment)
I like your comments on sleep. I also have issues with it. But when you say "give up on sleep" and then you just don't sleep and then you're exhausted. How can you then not worry about it next night, etc..
Hi Anon,
The very first thing you should do is see your health care provider–PCP, naturopath, whatever. NOT chiropractor; they don't have the training. If your HCP is unhelpful, find another one. If that is overwhelming, ask Facebook, and people will tell you who to go to. I don't feel like I can guide you through step by step because I don't know your specific issues–mine is anxiety, and after X pattern, and the sum total of my knowledge is specialized to me–I'm not a professional in this area. My dad's is anxiety too, but after Y pattern. My maternal grandma's was anxiety too, but after Z pattern. You see what I mean? You will do best with help that is specialized to you. 🙂
I didn't say give up on sleep. You will sleep, promise. There are infinity drugs to help with that, if it comes to that (and it might, temporarily or semi-permanently. And that's a-ok).
What I did say was let go of the idea of sleeping. It is unhelpful for anyone to lie in bed and dwell on how they are not sleeping, and how that will wreck their day, and possibly their life, and in fact this may be a sign of the End of Times. Like I said, you might as well distract yourself–read, write (no screen; longhand), listen to music, count sheep, do a breathing program, meditate, etc. And know that you will survive, regardless of the number of hours of sleep you get. There are professionals to help you handle this.
You will be tired. You will want to worry about the next night. That's how anxiety works. It's a vicious cycle–a terribly vicious cycle that sucks your mind in. It will be like this for awhile–until it isn't. You WILL sleep. Even on nights you think you don't, I bet you did–maybe not very much, but you did. You're going to be tired for awhile. That's how it will be. It won't be like that forever. That was/is my biggest fear–that it will always be like the worst of times. It never has been. I will also say that I've been working on this for 11 years in April–oy, that was sobering. There was a stretch of years in the middle that were nearly symptom-free, and then things flared up again. Now, however, I feel better than ever. I have strategies in place, and I know what I will do next if this doesn't work. I also know I still take a medication as a baseline, that I would like to not take anymore, but haven't been able to get away from due to "rebound" panic effects when I try to get off it. So, we shall see. That will be rough, when I do it. It won't be forever.
You might not be able to get out of the cycle by yourself–but there ARE people who can help you get out. That's why I recommended seeing your HCP right away–see above for that stepwise recommendation. 🙂 You can do it. It will be hard. You can do it.
The book I mentioned in the original commend, "Mindfulness" by Mark Williams, had a really concise description of anxiety and how it works in your brain, which is honestly what sold me on the book. I can't recommend this book enough. My mom the social worker is a big proponent of the "Anxiety of and Phobia Workbook", which I own but is in my emergency stash of Things I Will Do Next Time. The list of things I have tried is loooooong, and includes almost everything anyone might mention. The most compelling to me is what helps me understand the brain process. It might not be the most compelling to others. You'll find what is.
Off you pop to talk to your HCP. 🙂 Counseling is often helpful, too. You might have to try multiple counselors (I've tried 3 or 4 over the years, none of which was the magic bullet, and I'd try more).
So much love…this is a hard road to walk.
Miggy, I have another funny for you. My friend just adopted a dog over the weekend and I was reminded of this gem…
ENTRIES IN A DOG'S JOURNAL:
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM – ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
ENTRIES IN A CAT'S JOURNAL:
DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time……