Like any good love story, I didn’t see it coming. When it comes to music I am the Grumpy Old Man. Kids these days they wouldn’t know a good song if it hit them over the head. Ha! You think that’s a chord progression? I’ll show you a decent chord progression? These pop tarts can...
I’m not gonna lie, this number is kinda tripping me out a bit. TODAY I AM THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD. So think about this for a second. From age 0-10 you go through a lot of change, from baby to pre-teen. A decade of so many new changes all the time. Even though you...
Happy 38th year! You described exactly what I think about every single birthday. I still feel like I'm waiting to be an adult. When does that happen? Haha. I keep wondering if I'll just always feel this way, even when I'm elderly. One thing that I've noticed though, while not a very big change, each year I realize I get to know myself better. You'd think being yourself for your entire life would lead you to know everything about yourself but it is funny how it's still very much a discovery of self through the years. ReplyCancel
Happy Birthday a little late! My birthday was Tuesday as well and I've got a few years on you (42) but feel sort of similar. It's sometimes hard for me to fathom that I'm now "old." Of course having kids both keeps you young but also reminds you how you aren't really young anymore (from someone who's oldest daughter will be 22 this year!). ReplyCancel
I just turned 40 and had the exact same thought the other day. "Aren't I supposed to be the grown up now? When am I going to feel it?" I am living the grown up life 11 and 13 kids but I still feel no different then the twenty something I was over a decade ago. Fun to hear that someone else is feeling the same way.ReplyCancel
Hey there! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New year. The holidays were a great excuse to slow down, spend a lot of time together and check a few things off the to-do list as well. The only thing I was bummed about was the lack of a white Christmas....
2014 will go down in the books as one of our hardest years yet. And while a new year brings promises of hope and a fresh start, experience has told me that a simple passing of time doesn’t usually change things. Change. That’s what the New Year is really about, people wanting to change. If...
Happy Birthday baby girl. I don’t have a favorite child–let’s just get that out on the table.–BUT I think I may have favorite children during different periods of their (and my) life. And Zuzu, you were hands down my favorite baby. I’m not sure if even that is OK to say, but I’m saying it....
Today I want to talk about something a little out of the norm. Porn. As in pornography. Not food porn, “inspiration porn” or some other fake porn, but actual x-rated, naked, sex filled, porn. When I was in the second grade I remember going to my friends house after school. For some reason that day...
Amen! Do you remember when we talked about this in Inwood with the Relief Society? It was eye opening. There are also studies that show that our stimulus response in our brains are messed up when they view pornography, and it literally shrinks our brains. See http://fightthenewdrug.org/porn-changes-the-brain/#sthash.csSEoqza.dpbs. I am interested how you are going to teach your children to stand against pornography. On my blog, in the next couple of weeks, I hope to get my MIL to write about the a great empowering acronym that was specifically set up by a team of specialists that helps children to step away. I think it is also important to show companies that we care what they put in front of our children and to give them ideas on how they can avoid it. I wrote to Hulu last week (http://dearestplace.blogspot.com/2014/12/letter-for-hulu-please-protect-family.html) and they replied (http://dearestplace.blogspot.com/2014/12/hulus-reply.html). Thank you for you words!ReplyCancel
VDG–I don't remember that talk…I guess there have been many over the years. Ha! But that's great you wrote to Hulu and even better that they wrote back and know that this is an important issue.
As far as teaching our kids, reading the book "Good pictures, bad pictures" was a great first start. I know we'll need to review it periodically. They have an action plan for kids that basically tells them if they see something pornographic to say out loud, "That's pornography!" then get away from what they saw as quickly as possible, even telling them to close their eyes (because seconds count) and go find an adult. Again, we'll have to review this with our kids and I know that isn't something they're always going to do (as they get older and this becomes something they may encounter with friends for example), but I hope they always know they can talk to us about it. Another thing I'm trying to do by talking to my children is removing the shame and secrecy of porn. I want them to know their mom and dad are always safe people they can talk to.
I love how you addressed this and applaud you for the steps you are taking to protect your girls. Pornography ruined my cousins! Their father didn't want them to be gay so he bought the magazines for them (late 60's-early 70's). My brother, sister and I are much younger and they purposefully left out a magazine to shock us. I was 8 and like you, I still remember vivid details about what I saw. Disgusting! I have been very proactive about dealing with this topic with my sons. I am fortunate that I have a husband who is also disgusted by porn. This is a fight we will be fighting for years to come and one that will never take a backseat to society. Thank you for the resources you provided. I will be sharing them with my sons because we can never be too quiet for too long on this topic.
BTW, a few years ago our pastor discussed this at church. What shocked me was when he said the fastest growing group of pornography viewing was married women. He used the statistics to prove that husbands are failing their wives if they have to turn to porn. God created sex for beauty and man has destroyed it. ReplyCancel
Thanks for chiming in Anon! It sounds like your Uncle was just way off in so many respects (trying to 'cure' homosexuality to begin with, then doing it with porn–gah!) And I'm so glad you've been very proactive with your sons… as parents we cannot leave this conversation unsaid. If you read the article I posted above about Jaime the 13 year old boy his parents had NO IDEA he was doing this day after day until a knock on the door from the police seizing computers because Jamie was accessing child pornography.
The only thing I disagree with was when you said "husbands are failing their wives if they have to turn to porn." I firmly believe that it is not the other spouse's fault if one spouse starts dabbling in porn or becomes addicted to porn. The idea that "he/she wouldn't look at it if they were getting enough at home" is false and outdated. I love that your pastor brought up the fact that women are just as susceptible as men when it comes to porn and addiction–I definitely think that needs to be talked about more (also why I don't assume that just because I have 3 girls, this won't affect them) but the idea that their husbands failed them? I disagree. I don't blame wives when their husbands have porn issues and I won't blame husbands either. ReplyCancel
Hi Miggy, When I read that phrase in that comment about husbands failing their wives, I read it to mean husbands failing in their responsibilities towards their wives, as in husbands failing the marriage vow, husbands failing the family unit, and husbands failing their wives' expectations….in short, husbands failing. I read it as husbands not living up to their wives' vision and understanding of a marriage and failing the marriage. I might have to post as Anonymous, too, because there is no Yahoo option. This is Mel in Fort Collins. I enjoy your blog a lot. Take care.ReplyCancel
Oh I have so much to say! but, mainly I'm just so happy you posted this. I think the number one thing is that as parents we don't have to be afraid of porn. We can prepare our children to deal with it when they see it. We can educate ourselves and our children, and create environments of safety. But, it does take a lot of paying attention and a lot of work. I read "He Restoreth My Soul". It's a Christian perspective of pornography addiction recovery—and I was so struck by all the case studies of the people (men and women) affected by pornography addiction AND food addiction (they are very similar). I was struck because so many of them—the problems started as children and they didn't have an adult to talk to or notice that they were having a hard time. Talking about things is so important. Also: I don't know how any one can support the objectification of women AND men in pornography. It is so dehumanizing! gah! I want to just yell whenever I hear about it. I have to end this note now. love you!ReplyCancel
We have been watching ABC Family a few times this week because they have had some children's holiday movies on and their commercials are awful. They have multiple Victoria's Secret commercials, and commercials for sitcoms dealing with teen sex. Why is this appropriate for children's programming? Children today are exposed to so much at such a young age and at that young age are being desensitized. My children will not be watching ABC Family again. We need to teach our children what real love is and not what the media is telling them.ReplyCancel
Wendy–
Yeah, I've noticed the same thing with ABCFamily… in general TV is just a lot more permissive. I know boundaries are going to get pushed and pushed, but sometimes I wonder when will we hit the wall? Is there a wall? Yes the media is a tricky thing. As someone who loves pop culture, movies, etc it's hard to know where to draw the line sometimes. ReplyCancel
Thanks so much for this article. You articulated so many of my feelings exactly. I have a son and three daughters and I am terrified that they are growing up in a world so full of disrespect and degradation towards women. Unfortunately my husband has been caught in the clutches of pornography addiction for years (since he was a young teen) and I know too well the heartbreak it causes. Thanks so much for your link to FTND. I'm going to check this out. It is something I feel passionately about and have been considering getting involved in spreading the word about the horrors of pornography but haven't known how. ReplyCancel
Rebecca–
Exactly! I think this is so important. In fact just riding in the car tonight PSP said, "Mom, what's a B****." For a second I was a deer in headlights, but then we just talked about the word, what it meant, where she heard it, etc. I remember being a kid and showing my parents the middle finger and asking them what it meant (I had step-parents at a young age and this was actually one of them–trying not to throw anyone under the bus here) and instead of teaching me and telling what was up, my step parent kinda flipped and I got spanked, punished… the whole nine yards and I had no idea what I had done, and still didn't know what my dang middle finger meant! So yeah… how we handle these things as parents is so important and removing the SHAME from these things in my perspective is key. ReplyCancel
Thank you so much for addressing this topic, Miggy.
I have nothing to add to what has been said and I don't know if I can put my thoughts in English, but nevertheless I try to speak my mind :P.
I think that porn is physically and emotionally harmful for porn actresses and dangerous for every other woman, because desensitized its viewers towards violence against women and, even worse, it conditions their minds and bodies to react with sexual arousal to degradation and abuse (physical, sexual and verbal) of women.
It sells lies about human (particularly femal) sexuality for the sake of pornographers's gain.
I'm childless, but if I had children I would be concerned as much as you. I have to say, as a single woman still in the dating game, that I'm afraid for myself, too.
As has already been said in the above comments, even the romanticizing of abusive relationships by "50 shades of greys" and similar products worries me, a lot.
At least, it seems that in the English speaking world there is a debat about porn, here there isn't, to watch porn is widely considered just a normal thing, that so called "sexuologists" that write in popular magazine suggest to do for add spice to your sexual life. If you oppose it, you are labeled as an extremist catholic (religion is just catholicism here) 🙁
PS I really appreciate the way you mix topics in your blog: family life, art, crafts, disability and, time to time, heavier topics like this. The content choices of a lot of other bloggers is monotonous and gives the impression that they live in a bubble.
Liseli–Thank you so much. I've always just tried to be myself on this blog and I'm glad that resonates with others.
And yes the fact that porn desensitizes its viewers towards violence against women AND condition the body to be aroused by abuse is sick and completely backwards to me. And now I'm curious as to where you live–though I still think we have a long way to go for society as a whole to see pornography as unhealthy and bad for you. ReplyCancel
Italy.
(Maybe I have to clarify: I didn't mean that everybody watches tons of porn here, just that it's common sense that there isn't nothing wrong in watching porn if you enjoy it and there aren't critical voices against it in the media, so you are seen as prude and judgmental if you criticize it).ReplyCancel
Alessandra–
Wow–I had to look that one up on urban dictionary. Neither me or my husband knew that term had any connection to porn. I've heard that term used a bazillion times and never once thought twice about it. I'm wondering if this is common knowledge or if we're just really in the dark. Thanks for the heads up (is that porn related too? See, this is another thing I hate about our society, so many common words and phrases can't be said without some sexual connotation added to them. Ay-i-i-i…).ReplyCancel
Our son ended up toying with porn without our knowledge years ago because his older sisters had Victoria Secrets catalogs which they got because they liked the clothing sold in the catalogs. It honestly didn't even compute to me at the time that those catalogs could be addictive to a young teenage boy until I found them years later under his bed when we were moving. It then clicked why we had had — what I thought was an erroneous bill from an online porn site a few years earlier — which I had disputed because I KNEW no-one in our family would have been on a porn site — including this same young teenage boy! I also then knew why he had decided at sixteen that he wasn't worthy to pass the Sacrament in our Church — so he never did — which eventually led him to become an inactive member — which he still is. Thus, I think that your focus on getting all of this out in the open, when kids are very young, is a good idea. I also found, through my own experience, that the blue scenes in Romance literature can be addicting — even if they are only mildly suggestive; as the "kick" you get out of reading them soon requires more explicit wording. That experience taught me that it doesn't take much to begin that addictive process in your mind (and may be how some women begin to get hooked on porn as so many woman read romance literature). I also learned, through that experience, just how hard it is to give up porn — as it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do to get rid of those — even mildly suggestive Regency Romances — which I had purposefully chosen to read over other romance literature because I thought it would be benign — and most of them were, but not all of them! ReplyCancel
A single study of 19 self-identified "porn addicts" is slender grounds to hang an entire theory that any salacious material– from romance novels to snuff films, without distinction– is going to turn people into sexual predators.
Men's Rights Activists' self-righteous ranting poses a far greater greater threat to your daughters' safety when they reach dating age than enthusiastically-consensual sex scenes in R-rated movies. Fighting Rape Culture and human sex trafficking is the best way to combat the truly toxic porn, not screaming "OMG! It's porn! EEEVIIILLL!!!" at any titillating content. ReplyCancel
Astrin—Hmmmm, not sure we're talking about the same stuff here. I didn't even mention R-rated movies so I'm not sure where you got that. And while I agreed with one commenter above about where to draw the line with television becoming more permissive all the time, my actual post above wasn't about "any salacious material–from romance novels to snuff films." I'm talking about hard core porn that often depicts women in violently sexual acts (i.e. rape…which I believe is directly tied to rape culture… you know if people are watching rape-like scenes for entertainment and worse, to become sexually aroused) usually being abused and degraded by multiple men. Granted, I haven't seen this stuff myself, but like heroine or cocaine, I'm satisfied with taking other people's word on it. And I'm not sure about the "single study of 19 self identified porn addicts" either because if you've taken a look at Fight the New Drug they cite many, many different studies and they share many personal stories from people who have dealt with the problem of porn in one way or another. Again, they say they've received thousands of emails from people all over the world. Didn't double check that stat, but I'm not someone that needs a bazillion facts and research to tell me what already seems obvious. (Breast milk is better than formula! Too much alcohol hurts your brain! Study shows sleep deprivation is bad for your health!) I find that we rely on science a little bit too much and common sense and instincts not enough.
I DO agree that rape culture and human sex trafficking are huge problem AND very much tied to the porn industry. In fact I linked to an article (again from FTND) that talks about the direct relationship of sex trafficking and porn. Rape culture…yes really bad as well. Again, I don't think you can really be a feminist and pro-porn. ReplyCancel
I suppose I should have linked my reply directly to the commenters who were calling romance novels and television scenes "porn"– Sorry!
To my memory, the MRI study was the only hard science study cited. And much more study is needed to determine whether excessive porn watching causes brain anomalies OR if people with messed-up brains are more likely to watch a lot of porn.
Anecdotal reports can be valuable, but they're also extremely subjective– for the scientists as well as the subject. If someone already feels that porn is a Bad Thing and feels guilty about watching it, they might tend to attribute their sexual and relationship problems to their watching porn, even though the causality is the other way around– they watch the porn because they lack the interpersonal skills to deal with their relationship problems successfully.
And social science is rife with discredited researchers who subconsciously– or consciously!– skewed their research design to generate exactly the results which verified their prejudices. Stephen Jay Gould's 'The Mismeasure of Man' describes this phenomenon.
I don't know this "rape porn", but I read a lot of fanfiction. If I come across a sex scene that's not to my tastes, I use the back button or the scroll bar. (The choice of which I use depends on how well-written the rest of the story is.) So I'd say if someone persists in watching a rape-themed porn video, it shows they have a preexisting misogynistic and violent attitude toward women. Guys rape because they feel entitled to do what they want to women, not because they watched some porn and got horny.
And um, Rape Culture predates the invention of video technology by centuries, if not millennia. But we can agree that human trafficking needs to be stopped NOW because of the harm done to the victims. ReplyCancel
Just catching up on your blog. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about pornography. We have the book you mentioned, Good Pictures, Bad Pictures. I agree that we need to talk about this stuff very early, often, and clearly with our children. I also agree that feminism and not seeing the problem with porn don't mix. Thank you for standing up for this, as you seem to have a lot of readers! I have seen friends' marriage relationships nearly ruined due to this issue, and I have also seen the porn addict get help, keep commitments, and major miracles happen. It was interesting to read various perspectives on this issue. I also agree with your common sense approach. If it weren't an issue, why would we still be talking about it?ReplyCancel
When I was a kid we lived with our grandparents for a few years and there were lots and lots of old toys and games still around from my mom and her two brothers were kids. I loved playing with these toys as much as my modern 80’s counter parts (fashion plates anyone?). However, it...
Waoo! Great idea. I want to appreciate you for your work. Its really helpful for me. Visit http://www.toyez.net/ for the best toy. ReplyCancel
I’m sure you will provide the more awesome blogs like these blogs that I’ve enjoyed a lot.http://www.luxtime.su/louis-vuitton-handbagsReplyCancel
A single thing should be taken into account that normally choose and choose the most beneficial cleaning expertise, no problem how expensive it will be! Now an important question which will strikes down with the mind is without a doubt that how come the familys need that cleaning expertise.
ReplyCancel
Anything should be remembered that consistently choose and select the preferred cleaning assistance, no situation how expensive it happens to be! Now the actual question who strikes down in your mind might be that for what reason the the entire family need typically the cleaning assistance. deep cleaning in dubai
ReplyCancel
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
categories
purchase when charley met emma
Let's be friends!
© 2025 This Little Miggy|ProPhoto Website|Designed by Hirschi Creative
Oh I love T-swizzle! The first time I heard her I was serving at the Olive Garden, and the radio was playing her back in the kitchen. I loved that she was like 16 or something and took EVERY opportunity to wear a fancy dress in her music videos. Anyways, I like that she keeps getting better and better and that she makes decisions about her work (taking it off spotify). Her op-ed in the wall street journal great. And! i also love that she loves and stalks her fans and just has a good time with her fame.
I got my daughter and I tickets to see TS this summer as her Christmas gift. DD is eight, and it will be her first concert! Cannot wait. Have you watched the behind-the-scenes youtube videos of the making of Shake It Off? Totally fantastic. And also the mom parody of Blank Space is pretty hilarious. Yes to Taylor Swift!
I am such a new Taylor fan! I especially loved the video of the gifts she gave to her fans.
Yes! Nothing but love for T. Swift. Even the earlier country stuff is not bad. However, I can't watch the early videos (so much shiny eye shadow, huge gowns and general cheesiness!) She is irresistible and the Shake It Off video is perfection.
I really hate pop country so I wasn't crazy about her music before. I am definitely a fan of this album! My kids and I love to dance around to every song.
My appreciation for 1989 was reluctant at first, but I just can't help it, I like Taylor now too!
Hi everybody!
Are you bored with your phone's default ringtone? And you want to change the boring ringtone? I will recommend to you the list of the best ringtones for Android, you may consider downloading your phone.
Ringtones for the best phone:
– Iphone 8 ringtone
– Iphone X ringtone
– Super mario bros ringtone
– Mere Rashke Qamar ringtone
– Bojack horseman ringtone
Here are some popular ringtones. You can also find other unique ringtones at: https://ringtonesmobile.net/