The girls had been playing quietly close to dinner time for much too long. I went to go inspect and instead of some terrible mess or other wicked behavior, I found them engaged in a lamplight tea party. Both girls dressed in their finest princess wear (Rapunzel and Snow White) with a little tea party...
….Don’t mind me. 36 sounds old….when you’re in your 20’s. Now? Well it still sounds old, but it doesn’t feel old. But 4 years away from 40? That’s just plum crazy. Here’s the thing, when I was going to my senior prom (it was a blind date by the way…another story for another day) my...
I can so relate. Once at a restaurant when I was 28, I was crouched down talking to my 6-yr-old nephew and the server asked my husband, "And what would you like for the little girl and boy?" She seriously thought I was maybe 8.
Happy birthday!! Enjoy benefitting from looking so young when it was such a pain. You earned it!ReplyCancel
The scene was this: A Friday, late afternoon trip to Hobby Lobby for a quick return and purchase. My shopping experience didn’t take long, but the line took forever. For. ev. rrrrrr It was one of those deceptively short lines where there’s only 2 people in front of you, but somehow the cashier has to...
you are a treasure. thank you for sharing your Lamp with the world like this. your blog was such a comfort to me when I, too, was that mama with the "bad" news, when I heard those same words ("deformed, missing") after an ultrasound. honestly, Ulysses has burst open my world in a wonderful way. I feel blessed that he's given me the opportunity to challenge my ideas about things and also to get to know some great people. . . like you! you're the real deal, Miggy, and I'm thankful for your honest and thoughtful posts.ReplyCancel
Beautiful post Miggy! I wish everyone could read it. Ten months ago, at age 45, I gave birth to my 5th child. She is 14 years younger than her closest sibling and has two little nieces who are older than her. So yes, I am a grandma. My doctor recommended amnio and extensive pre-natal testing, but I chose to have only the standard exams and tests. Why? Not because I was afraid of "bad" news, but because I didn't want to listen to negativity from others. I knew that we loved her and wanted her regardless of any physical or mental differences. I read your blog and the special needs spotlights throughout my pregnancy. Although my daughter was not born with any special needs, I was well-prepared for that possibility. Thank you for your beautiful blog! By the way, I found you through Kym who is my sister-in-law's sister.ReplyCancel
Melanie–that's amazing! And yes, people in the medical field can sometimes be the worst offenders–I can understand why you wouldn't even go there. Luckily there are also a lot of great Dr's and nurses. Our Dr. was great, our nurses were great and I'm glad we had that experience. I know that's not always the case. (And huzzah for connections–though we've only met once, I love Kym!)ReplyCancel
My grandson has Down syndrome and had to have open heart surgery at six weeks old. Then at eighteen months he was diagnosed with leukemia. My daughter says if there is one thing she wishes she would have known at the time is that "it will all be all right." When you are going through all the tough news and scarey diagnosis it is very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We have a happy, wonderful and oh so loved nine year old that we can't imagine life without. As his grandmother my advice is to take one day at a time and enjoy every single second of every single day and know that it will all be all right! (Archie's NaNa)ReplyCancel
Thank you for such a wonderful post!! This post is exactly how I feel…my son was born with a bilateral cleft lip, and I will never forget watching that ultrasound and hearing the diagnosis. I spent the following months researching and reading everything I could about it, trying to find any scrap of information to give me hope that this wasn't so bad. I read many blogs and articles where people said over and over that it really is NOT a big deal, but at the time that seemed incomprehensible. Now, the joy I have in my son is incomprehensible!! It's true that it is not a big deal but to someone in that situation it is hard to make them see that truth. 🙂 Thanks again for putting these thoughts into such well-written words!!ReplyCancel
I believe in this deeply! it turned out like nothing the thousand and one ultrasounds indicated to us. And the divorce rate they included. I think people even ourselves underestimate our ability rise. Lamp puts you in the sun so to speak, you get alot of attention, good and bad, and I am sure the comment I could never do that…Well they have no idea, you now do however! Loving your rockstar family from afar. good stuff Gueck.
autumnReplyCancel
Rebekah–If your friend is up for it, please send her my email. I've talked with many moms in her situation over the past couple years and was lucky enough to have some moms to talk to myself when I was prego with Lamp. We can email, talk on the phone, etc… so just have her email me at thislittlemiggy @ gmail dot com. ReplyCancel
I am a silent reader to your blog and I love it..I wait for every single post of yours.
I come from a country where babies r aborted just because it is a girl…I am so proud to see people like you and I just feel all hope is not lost…You are an amazing mom and I love how much Joy you have in your family in spite of the challenges…You are an inspiration to everyone..
I have a 9 month old daughter and first three months were hard whenever she used to fuss…may be due to bonding issues..dont take it in the wrong way but after reading this post I feel if you can do it, I can do it…I gotta stop complaining about little things in life..everything in life is just how you look at it…and as you said when there is love, everything will be fine…
P.S : I agree with you…both your kids have extra awesomeness.ReplyCancel
Thank you pallavi. It makes me sick to my stomach to hear about babies being aborted for any reason, but especially for things like gender, disability. I didn't want this post to turn political, because it was about supporting mothers of children with disabilities, but frankly abortion is not even about politics for me. Aside from issues of health risks to the baby/mother, or incest/rape–abortion is and will always be morally wrong. And especially so when it's a baby that a family wanted, but didn't like the gender, etc. Thanks for saying what you said, I for one will never back down on that position myself, no matter how politically incorrect it may seem.
Also-a fussy newborn IS hard. Don't beat yourself up for having a hard time. Your hard is not my hard, and vice versa. Find the joy, but acknowledge the difficult too. 🙂 ReplyCancel
Amen Sister…Beautifully Said…It is so true. Our sweet little children have such powerful spirits for those who are willing to look beyond the physical.
A little story from my friend, about an experience she had a month ago with her son:
"Ok I have to share my experience I had today with my FB friends….. A lady approached my son and I in the mall today and asked me if I minded her asking me some questions pointing to my son with Down Syndrome. She spoke for a few min and then asked if I felt guilty bringing him into the world when I knew he would b a drain on the limited resources. Right as I got speechless feeling like I would cry it was a little miracle the lady went on to say…… I'm just thinking of all the people around the world who won't have food tomorrow to even celebrate Thanksgiving. 🙂 at that point I gave her a short but oh so sweet history lesson on Thanksgiving and pointed out that not everyone in the world would b celebrating and that even my son who she thinks is too stupid to live knows that. So happy thanksgiving to all those who understand what it is we r celebrating:)"
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Lamp truly gives light. I wish you shopped at my Hobby Lobby. I like how you said, " What I know now and what I want others to know is that an ultrasound machine while great at predicting genders and certain medical issues, is horribly, woefully, unspeakably inadequate at predicting futures."
A relative of mine gave birth and is raising a child conceived in rape. Abortion did not cross her mind. Every child is a blessing, and we are lucky to have such child in our family tree. No, it's not an easy road, but there is joy along the way. End of anti-abortion speech.
You know what, many of us will lose various abilities as we age, so those naysayers should shut their mouths. ReplyCancel
Amy it's been a long time but I am so happy I stopped by your blog. You are doing a wonderful thing, sharing your joys. I often feel that in general when someone is expecting they hear EVERY bad story or about how your life changes with children. They need to hear more of the wonderful stories, and the love. You are awesome. Keep going! xo
EmilyReplyCancel
What a joy is she?? Surrounded by and giving so much love.
I can't help but also remember the video that you once posted of the confident and beautiful young woman with limb differences but was living life fully and independently. What an inspiration and wonderful example of how the future can look. ReplyCancel
When we had our bad news ultrasound we were given three options: We could terminate the pregnancy, we could provide "comfort care" after he was born and just let him die, or we could proceed with a series of three open-heart surgeries to prolong his life. Honestly, at first all three options seemed horrific to me, but it was a matter of seconds before I knew that we would, of course, fight for his life. After his first open heart surgery when he was just 4 days old I questioned that decision. Was I making him suffer just so that I could have some extra time with him? Would his quality of life be worth all of this? I have since come to realize that children have a remarkable ability to find joy. My son is the happiest baby I know! Like Lamp, he makes everyone around him smile. I agree with everything you wrote. Thank you for sharing these experiences. I sure love your girls! They really are special.ReplyCancel
I check out your beautiful blog from time to time and have never commented! This, however, is just too wonderful not to comment on. The Hobby Lobby story has me grinning from ear to ear….what an amazing sight I bet that was! Your daughters are beautiful and are so happy!!! They must have wonderful parents!! 🙂
*How many times can one say beautiful and wonderful in one comment?! Lol!ReplyCancel
Love love love this post. I am 33 weeks pregnant with my second and {to make a long story short} we had an ultrasound at 30 weeks that showed there may be abnormalities in our little girl's brain – a symptom of various different problems. However, a follow-up MRI showed a seemingly healthy baby and that the ultrasound measurements were very inaccurate. But those few days when we thought our little girl might be born with special needs were an interesting roller coaster of emotions. I had read your blog before and read the special needs spotlight and I have to say I think those really affected my perspective on the entire thing. I never thought "why me?" and mostly focused on how I could prepare our family to love and nurture this little girl God was giving us and help her reach her fullest potential. I felt so much love for her in those few days it was really overwhelming. I just want to say thank you for your blog and for highlighting what an amazing blessing our children are, no matter what "problems" or challenges they may come to us with. And the truth is, ALL children will present us with challenges of one sort or another, whether they can be seen by the naked eye or only by the heart. 😉ReplyCancel
I love comments like this. I'm so glad things are looking up, but regardless I'm even happier that you were able to feel that overwhelming love for your little one no matter the circumstances. Of course it's OK and important to grieve and be sad for losses (loss of a healthy baby, loss of what you thought your future would look like, etc) but I'm glad the love came through too. Good luck to you and I hope all goes well with your sweet family. ReplyCancel
I happened on your blog from Pinterest (for your gauze feather blanket- which is lovely by the way) And came upon this post. Your daughter is beautiful, you are inspiring. But my absolute favourite part is the point you make on how accepting we all supposedly are of differences And then turn around murdering our babies for potential abnormalities. The closest I come to experiencing this firsthand is a beautiful niece with down syndrome. And she is a shining light for so many. at just three months old, she has touched so many hearts And brought such joy to so many. my heart aches thinking of all those families who have chosen to deprive themselves of the happiness their child could have brought them if they had not chosen the "easy" way out. That is my long way of saying thank you for sharing your story, And for helping so many through difficult And confusing times. Amazing And beautiful And inspiring And a reminder of what this life is truly all about.ReplyCancel
I was assigned to read this blog for a Writing and Rhetoric class. I saw it as busy work. Never been a big reader. But this post really touched me. I want to say thank you Miggy for sharing your beautiful stories. I used to work with autistc children years ago. Though I don't have family members with "special needs", I've experienced the blessing of experiencing moments of difficulty coupled with moments of great joy. I'm not a parent, but I hope to be someday and I'm inspired by your wonderful look on life. I hope that I can be as wonderful a parent as you seem. Thanks Miggy.ReplyCancel
Thanks for your insight on the inconclusive results that a machine can make. I love how you said that an ultra sound never could have predicted the joys, the sorrows, and the miracles that one experiences through trials. A machine just shows the black and white. As people, we as well sometimes only see the black and white of disabilities and we miss the "wheels on the bus" moments that happen even amidst frailties and physical weaknesses. Life isn't determined from what a machine says. Thanks for being an inspiration to the rest of us. ReplyCancel
That was a beautiful story. I love kids with special needs, the have such a strong, loving aura to them and truly they know how to love regardless of what the circumstances are. All of my experiences with them have been positive. I can't imagine what it would feel like to hear that my child would be born with a disability (being single and all) but I know that there would be a reason for it. There ALWAYS is. Thanks for the post!ReplyCancel
I'm really impressed by the way you can make a potentially bad or awkward situation into something funny. I have been reading through some of the spotlights and I like the question that asks if someone has had a funny experience that they would like to share. I believe our attitude (or view of life) can shape our lives and can affect us individually for the better or the worse. I'm impressed by your positive views and your care for others by creating a way for others to share their various life experiences. Thank you for your posts!ReplyCancel
We started off the New Year with a bang! Many of you are probably familiar with the blog and shop Freshly Picked. Susan, the mastermind behind Freshly Picked, held a huge end-of-the-year contest for 5 lucky people to win Moccs for an entire year! That’s four (4!) pairs of baby/toddler moccasins shipped over the course of...
Last week a woman at church asked me, “Are you homesick?” No, I said. Not at all. I don’t really know where ‘home’ is anymore except when I’m with my family. They are home, which is why staying here for Christmas, just the 4 of us, was perfect. It was the right amount of getting...
I loved this post, Miggy! So full of fun and thoughtfulness and love of family. I am so glad you had a wonderful Christmas. We did as well. We drove to the Texas Panhandle to see family and got to have a white Christmas! Turns out if we had stayed here in North Texas we would have had one as well! Yep, it hardly ever snows here, but it did on Christmas Day. I'm always a little sad when the sparkle and spirit of the Christmas season is over. It is always such a special time. : )ReplyCancel
Hi Miggy. Loved your Christmas recap. Those girls of yours are divine. Loved all the homemade gifts from PSP. Glad it was a cozy Christmas with just the right trimmings.
Xoxo
Kym
P.S. where is that pink seat from that Lamp is sitting in? That would be a great seat for Lily since sitting up isn't her favorite thing to do. 😉ReplyCancel
I believe Lamp is in a Bilibo. It's an imaginative toy designed to be used any way kids like! I hope it helps out Lily. 🙂 (I'm an anonymous blog-reader of yours, too!)
Here's a link to one on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/ActivePeople-0005-Kid-Bilibo-Green/dp/B000UEQHY4ReplyCancel
This was me during Christmas of 1983. It might have been 1984, but I’m sticking with ’83. This was easily the most memorable and most beloved Christmas dress of my childhood. Lace for miles, super spinny, and what I didn’t get a picture of but what makes this dress so incredibly perfect for Christmas is...
So cute! It's fun to see PSP enjoying it as much as you did.
It's funny, to me. My mom made me cute dresses like this, and then I flat out REFUSED to wear them. I remember crying over one particularly horrendous purple (PURPLE! Can you imagine?!) dress that I can look back now and recognize as cute beyond cute. Frills. Purple. What was my mom thinking? 🙂
One of my very favorite Christmas traditions comes from my husbands family. Each year growing up his parents wrote each of the children a special letter, that would be rolled up or in an envelope and placed on the tree. The letters were just expressions of love and gratitude, telling their children how wonderful they...
I love both of your family traditions! I hope your family has a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2013. Thank you so much for doing your blog, it is very special to me!
[email protected]ReplyCancel
I love the letter tradition. What a sweet and special keepsake.
My husband and I like to spend time with our families over Christmas, but even tho the live in the same state (Minnesota), we still have to do some traveling to get to them. So, we extend the celebrations out over the month of December and then make sure that we are home together with our 2 little girls for Christmas day. My favorite is the girls waking up Christmas morning and bringing our stockings to us in our bed. We open them and share snuggles before getting up and starting our day.
Rob wanted to do Santa Claus. I adamently did not. I grew up without Santa and didn't miss out on any Christmas Magic. Usually I win arguments with Rob, but I lost this one hardcore. Turns out that Rob loves Santa Claus more than I hate Santa Claus. I didn't know that was possible.
I still furrow my eyebrows a little when the topic comes up. It's okay that we have him around, but there are times when it's taken too far, and I have to remind Rob of our agreement. But I'll admit it, having Santa around has been fun. Rob loves Santa more than all 3 of the kids combined. And that's adorable.ReplyCancel
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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Those are some sweet pics. What a precious pair.
How heartwarming!
Favorite post you have ever written! And that is say a lot!
PSP has a heart made of gold and Lamp stirring her tea cup with her mouth….those two just melt my heart and always turn my day into a smile…thank you so much for sharing them with all of us.
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This post totally warmed my heart. I have 2 daughters, too and I love one of your last comments…"Whatever ways I may screw up, the times I yell or lack patience and understanding… for all the inevitable mistakes, I can always take comfort in the fact that they had each other." This is beautiful and could not have been expressed better.
This is so true and so beautiful!
these are beautiful pictures. i'm so glad you opted to take them. and i take comfort in exactly the same thing – in all my weaknesses as a mom, at least my kids have each other. XO
A special connection like this, between siblings, makes me want to overcome my fears of post-partum depression and have another baby. It's wonderful to see scenes like this between sisters. I'm so glad you witnessed it and caught a few photos.
Liv
http://www.livwrites.com
My goodness, this is so lovely. Thanks—- I so love your "ack, don'tminrude, wait, must share" feelings. Glad you shared.