So I when it comes to gratitude I talk a big game. I instagramed this photoTuesday afternoon (the day I posted about gratitude for the sake of gratitude), a selfie of me laying on the couch, down and out with a bad back. Over the next couple of days this “bad back” has gotten progressively worse, finally resulting in an ER visit (yesterday) at which point I was in excruciating pain. Like only natural childbirth can compare kind of pain, and even then I was lamenting that at least you get breaks in between contractions. Turns out I have a herniated disk.
If you’re like me, you always knew that a herniated disk was a bad thing and quite painful. But if you’re also like me, you didn’t really know what that actually meant. Please allow me to break it down. I can barely walk, it’s more of a bent-knee, twisted pelvis hunched back slow moving shuffle, as I cling to walls, door handles and any other other tools of stability I can find. I can’t pick up my kids–although out of pure necessity I’ve had to a couple times when friends and babysitters weren’t here–and that’s kind of a big part of my job description. And even when I’m laying down in bed as I should be, I still have unrelenting discomfort, including shooting pain through my hips and down both of my legs. Thankfully the ER sent me home with a goody bag of muscle relaxants and pain relievers, which helps a lot.
This is less about having a Miggy pity party (although, sure that too) and more to inform you that when someone tells you they have a herniated disk, it is no joke. I now have a new level of compassion for something I just didn’t understand before.
So back to the gratitude thing… Ha! It’s not like I don’t agree with what I said, I do. Buuuuuuut all I can think about is how good I had it a few days ago and I didn’t even know it. I am really being put to the test here, because that thing I talked about, What happens when your world gets worse, do you stop seeking gratitude? Well kids, my world just got worse. Which is always amazing to me, this idea that life is just going great and then one day bam… things change on a dime. Life is so life-y that way.
But I have been searching for gratitude, for example: Friends who came to my aid (again) on Wednesday. A babysitter/nanny we hire occasionally who while be available for a few days to help out, meals from our church congregation, DRUGS, and the fact that Thanksgiving has now been downgraded (upgraded?) to take out. I was listing these things out loud to B as a means to calm our stress–you know like, Listen I know we don’t need this right now, but look at least we can afford to pay someone to come over and at least we got this CAT scan right away so we know what we’re dealing with… and then I said it… I said IT. I know I just wrote a whole blog post on this…but really, IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE.
So there you have it. I’m a walking contradiction… well a bended-knee, hunched-backed shuffling contradiction but still.
Or I’m just human.
*****
On a happier note I finally got these paintings made into Giclee prints and I am so excited. You may remember I asked you guys to vote on your favorite and these 2 were the overwhelming majority. And I agree with you… they’re two of my favorites. So right now if you go to my shop I’m offering a special pre-sale price. These prints look beautiful, they really do. The paper is a gorgeous , thick 100% cotton watercolor paper and the inks are archival quality. I am really pleased with how they turned out. So the pre-order is a special price that will last through Thanksgiving and then I will get them out to you after that. This is a limited edition print and when they’re gone they’re gone. There are 15 available for pre order, but the total edition will be around 25 I think. Colors are so hard to get !00% correct online, so please keep that in mind when ordering!
Thanks for all your love and support. I heart art, and prints are a great way to go in making art more accessible and affordable to all.
Hugs,
M
I'm so sorry to hear about the back pain, and, unfortunately know what you are going through. I had it happen to me when I had a 3-week old and it was an extremely painful experience, made that much harder by the fact that the one thing I really had to do (take care of my daughter) caused so much pain. I'm glad you have people around who can help. Take care of yourself and remember…it WILL end, it won't be like this forever.
Suzanne
Feel better. I have had back issues and even had surgery. It is so painful to even roll over. The only thing you can do is rest. A little hard with three little ones. BOB Evans is a good carry out for Thanksgiving
am so sorry to read this and I hope you get well soon! I loved your gratitude post and the photos were divine xx
I'm sorry that you are hurt. It seems that you are dealing with it gracefully. Get well soon!
Liseli
I drove past a car that had had a little rack with the same power chair Lamp uses on it, and I got inordinately excited and freaked the parents out. You're not in Connecticut by any chance, are you? 🙂 I'm sorry to hear about your back; my mom struggled with back pain for a long time. Hope you feel better soon!!
As a fellow bad back mom (two herniated discs, three bulging and at the time a one year old) I just want to recommend physical therapy and/or an inversion table. It may or may not help you, but I found great relief with both. Just over a year later and my inversion table continues to keep me upright and pain free! The best part is that it only takes a few minutes a couple of times a week. I hope you find relief and the ability to walk upright again soon! Hang in there!
I hope your back is healing! I had back surgery for Scoliosis when I was younger and back pain is just a normal part of day to day life for me, but then to top it off, my husband just had surgery for a ruptured disc (it was bulging for months before it ruptured). Between the two of us, our children are doomed for bad backs. 🙂 Hang in there!