Here’s how I decided to go to Alt Summit. So it turns out that when we’re in the middle of moving across the country and stopping in Utah to see family and friends, Alt will be happening at the same time… maybe I should go? Yeaaaaah, I should totally go. OK there was...
Armageddon is almost upon us. I’ve got news for you, it’s already here. I’m not dumb. I know moving is chaotic (in high school I pronounced this chow-tic when read out loud until someone corrected me and I was like what? because I think it should be spelled kaotic) but I still like some degree of...
Don't you just love that she loved her teacher? My daughter cries herself to sleep a week before school is over (we are in NY and school is still in session) because she loves her teachers so much. It's heart breaking to have to go through this every school year but makes me so grateful she had an amazing teacher.
A quick little story from last week that made me laugh. Lamp, Zuzu and I were at Home Depot getting some paint chips and paint samples. As we were waiting in line to speak with someone in the paint department a man came rather close to us. He walked up slowly, staring at Lamp. His...
My brother and I sometime in the early 80’s. Please note my classic bowl cut. Thanks mom. Last week was Lamps last day of therapy here in San Antonio. So I took Zuzu down the street to the local Starbucks, ordered a croissant and enjoyed a little one on one time with my babe....
Are you familiar with the classic Hitchcock movie Rear Window? It’s about a photographer who breaks his leg (my fav Jimmy Stewart) and since he’s basically immobile during his recovery he spends hours in his apartment looking through his lens at his neighbors, making observations and judgements about their lives from afar. He and his...
My neighborhood is awesome. It's super walkable and tons of people are always out doing just that. Just on my block the ages range from 4 to 94 with everyone in between. Our first block party was a HUGE success ("We should do this monthly!") and I'm hoping to keep that going every year. This street is so great that I have a hard time thinking about living anywhere else…though my house is only 710 sq ft so at some point it's going to have to happen.ReplyCancel
we love our current neighborhood. we were debating between two houses and my husband came to check out housing on a beautiful weekend in april (not always a common occurrence in seattle). when he came to the house we decided on, the cul-de-sac was full of kids riding their bikes and running around while the parents stood around and talked. i feel like it was a huge blessing that he had good weather for his visit because otherwise we never would have known the neighborhood was full of kids. it ended up being a huge factor in going with this house. we had four kindergarteners start at the same time this year and have summer block parties and outdoor movie nights.
we have also lived in terrible neighborhoods. as students, we lived in south provo, next to what i'm almost positive was a meth house. a lot of shady characters coming and going at odd hours, or just going up to the house and surreptitiously handing things through windows. we also had tenants under us in provo that would throw loud, drunken parties until 6:00 in the morning when we had two small kids and we actually ended up having to call the cops on them one time. awkward.
hopefully you end up in a wonderful neighborhood after having paid your bad neighborhood dues. ReplyCancel
We love our neighborhood. Lots of kids out riding bikes and people walking dogs. Our last neighborhood was townhouses. And inevitably there were some people we got to know really well, mostly because our kids were extroverts and would talk to everyone. Seriously. I like to think we turned that neighborhood around just a little by our nosy and nice kids.ReplyCancel
R–Even with our kids waving hi and being outgoing and cute to neighbors, they were still pretty standoffish. Sad face. But I really think our next neighborhood will be more fun and just walkable. I'm just excited to go on family walks and not feel like a fish out of water. Oh and the fact there there are many stray dogs seen walking this neighborhood is one more reason I'm ready to leave. I totally make it sound like a bad neighborhood–and it's not. Just not friendly and open. ReplyCancel
I live in New York and I must confess, I like to be left alone! No offense to the neighbors, I've met a few and quite like them–it's just that if I want to be around others, I'll call my friends, and if I don't, well, I'll stay home and don't want people dropping in. I always thought it was because we live so tightly packed here…
Funny that you say that about NY–I was born here and all the new neighbor-friendliness from people (who usually come from elsewhere) kind of drives me nuts!! 🙂ReplyCancel
Last year we moved into a neighborhood that is all Defense Force families (it's also 4 min walk from the beach- so AWESOME). It's lovely being around similar families, esp. other wives and kids who have husbands/dads often away/deployed. It's very friendly out walking (people here don't even put their dogs on leashes). Very handy for emergency kid sitting, or leaving the dog for the weekend too.
I have to say that I don't like the random drop-in's though. Just doesn't suit me, i guess. I guess the other downside is since we (mostly) know our neighbors– they are friends as well as work colleagues, when you do go out walking (we go every.single.morning with kid and dog) you have to put on real cloths and comb your hair, etc, instead of yoga pants and over-sized (possibly wrinkly) shirt (which is all I feel like doing sometimes). Also sometimes one of us gets caught up talking with a friend and that can be annoying if it happens too often and the rest of the family has to stand there waiting for 5-10 min. So good and bad things to knowing all your neighbors. Still, I'm VERY happy here!ReplyCancel
How did I not know you are a Hitchcock fan? Or just a Jimmy fan? Hitchcock is my favorite. Also Eric H.'s. But back to the neighborhood, we are loving the one we live in right now. You only drive on these roads if you live here, so perfect for bike riding. The kids have made alot of friends who ride their bus and it has been great so far. Much better than the Cincy neighborhood. We greatly overestimated that one. ReplyCancel
Dấm táo mèo có tác dụng gì?Nhiều năm gần đây quả táo mèo đã được rất nhiều người biết đến và vô cùng ưa chuộng bởi các tác dụng chữa bệnh của nó.
Rau chân vịt còn gọi là rau gì?Mọi người đang truyền tai nhau rằng rau chân vịt có nhiều tác dụng chữa bệnh và chứa nhiều thành phần dinh dưỡng rất tốt cho cơ thể.
Rau chân vịt có tác dụng gì?Rau chân vịt không chỉ là rau bổ ích trong các bữa ăn hằng ngày, mà rau chân vịt còn biết đến với nhiều tác dụng chữa bệnh vô cùng hiệu quả đối với con người chúng ta.
Bệnh ung thư dạ dày sống được bao lâu?Khi nhận kết quả Ung thư dạ dày, ít người biết rằng mặc dù kết quả cùng như vậy nhưng tỷ lệ sống của các bệnh nhân rất khác nhau phụ thuộc vào giai đoạn của bệnh, sức khỏe chung của bệnh nhân, tinh thần và khả năng chăm sóc y tế.
Triệu chứng của bệnh ung thư dạ dày giai đoạn đầuUng thư dạ dày là loại ung thư xuất phát từ niêm mạc dạ dày, rất thường gặp trong đời sống hằng ngày, đứng đầu trong các loại bệnh ung thư đường tiêu hóa.
Bệnh ung thư dạ dày nên ăn gì?Có lẻ đây là vấn đề mà rất nhiều bạn đóc quan tâm. Để giúp các bạn hiểu rõ hơn, bài viết dưới đây xin chia sẻ những kiến thức hữu ích trong chế độ dinh dưỡng cho người bị bệnh ung thư dạ dày.
Trà gừng có tác dụng gì?Gừng không chỉ được biết đến là gia vị thơm, cay không thể thiếu trong các món ăn hằng ngày mà gừng còn biết đến với nhiều công dụng chữa trị bệnh vô cùng hiệu quả
Nên uống trà gừng lúc nào thì tốt?Nên uống trà gừng lúc nào thì tốt? của các bạn gởi đến, chúng tôi xin giúp mọi người giải đáp vấn đề, đồng thời cung cấp những thông tin về việc uống trà gừng. Cùng xem nhé!
Đột quỵ là gì?Nếu chưa hãy cùng mình xem xét bài viết dưới đây để hiểu thêm về căn bệnh nguy hiểm này nhé!
Dầu oliu nguyên chất có tác dụng gì?Dầu ôliu không những tốt cho sức khoẻ con người, chữa được nhiều bệnh mà tác dụng của dầu ôliu đối với việc làm đẹp được chị em phụ nữ đặc biệt quan tâm
Cách sử dụng dầu oliu dưỡng daĐồng thời, các chất chống oxy hóa có trong sữa chua giúp tái tạo da, trẻ hóa làn da một cách nhanh chóng.ReplyCancel
Just some quick iPhone pics of my Zuzu in this cute little vintage number I bought shortly after finding out we were having a 3rd girl. I think she’s going to have to wear it every day until she outgrows it. Dear Zuzu, Hello you scrumptious baby. You are 5 months old and my goodness, time’s...
Just found this…two amazing dancers with limbs missing who worked for a year to create this masterpiece:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=UTrb6i7gJAk
Their story:
http://www.inspiredgiftgiving.com/amazing-stories-of-ordinary-people-2
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That is one gorgeous baby! Congratulations! My 1st and only baby ( who will be my last because we are so old) is so sweet natured and happy and a champion sleeper and has been calm and content from birth. He makes me feel lucky all the time. You are so lucky to have 3 beautiful girls and I love reading about how much you adore them. We always say that our son is a gift in our lives too. He really is our Treasure. xxxReplyCancel
A reader and fellow limb difference mom (hi Kristin!) sent me the following TedTalk by a woman named Stella Young, entitled Inspiration P*orn and the Objectification of Disabled People. If you have the time to watch I’d urge you to do so. Stella really hits the nail on the head. The basic premise of her...
Not being disabled myself, nor any one I am significantly close to, I would only be able to emphasize with disabled persons opposed to sympathize with them as I do not know what its like to be disabled and how is feels to be treated due to being disabled. Without that knowledge, why would one be criticized for promoting positivity or growth? I have girlfriends that spout that same language, 'brave', 'strong', 'who do you do it?' and those are just for being a full-time working mother. (Which to me, seems silly to build me up for something that 'is what it is') It just seems that everyone has to find fault in something. If it is true and real love and kindness being shown, even out of naivete, why not embrace it? Everyone now-a-days is overly offended. I think it is someone's heart that matters. Even if it is technically 'off-base'. That is how I viewed this tedtalk. ReplyCancel
BMarie–I get that. I really do…and yes sometimes we are too sensitive about every little thing. And I think we put the responsibility on others to do and say "the right thing" rather than putting the responsibility on ourselves for how we handle forces out side our control.
BUT I will tell you that it can be hard to deal with on a day-in and day-out basis. It is wonderful that people are kind to my daughter and really appreciate it when people just love chatting with her, talking to her and interacting with her the way they would any other kid. But people are constantly making a big deal of how she eats/writes/draws with her feet and saying things like "Wow! She's so happy!" As if they're surprised that she would be happy…likeshe's made the decision at the ripe ol' age of 3 to be happy despite having limb differences. Her personality is just who she is and has nothing to do with her limbs. Of course its exciting when any child learns to eat independently, or draw but what if everywhere you went people made a big deal out of it? 1) It would get old. 2) It would probably give your child a warped sense of their accomplishments. Does that make sense?
Additionally, it's a twisted sort of positivity. As she states in the talk often people use images and memes of the disabled to feel better about their own lives–like "it could always be worse. I could be THAT guy." But what if you are THAT guy? As she states in the video.
Am I ever inspired by my daughter and her determination to use her body to the best of it's ability? Yes. But I never once think, "Wow…she's so happy despite having limb differences." Her happiness has nothing to do with that. And the idea that people with disabilities should be primarily used as motivational speakers and inspiration memes for the rest of us, limits what their real capabilities are. ReplyCancel
I AM very impressed and inspired by those with limitations and challenges that I do not have. I see how they struggle with so much of what I take for granted. I am inspired when I see someone who struggles yet knows how to be happy and grateful. I often think back of Lamp when she was younger and I think you were at Hobby Lobby?…not sure, but it was some big place like that and how she was so happy and entertaining the others in line. I probably don't have all the facts straight but I remember that post and I think back on it. So YES I can learn from those who struggle with daily challenges and still find lots of reasons to smile and be happy. ReplyCancel
Grandma Honey–You know I love you, right? 🙂 Well please allow me to try and help you understand where she's coming from a little bit.
When you say, "I am inspired when I see someone who struggles yet knows how to be happy and grateful." that can come off a little condescending. Don't we all struggle in some way? The biggest "struggle" in Lamps life is how other people see her. And if all they see her is "as someone who struggles" well that's not a very complimentary point of view. And yes Lamp did make all those people smile and laugh, but she has been a happy little thing since she was a baby… her personality and happiness has NOTHING to do with her limbs. Especially at this age. There may come a time when she has to make more of a conscious decision and choose to be happy, but at age 3 that is not something she has to choose. She doesn't have the cognitive ability to say, "Wow…I was dealt a pretty tough hand in life, but I'm just going to be happy anyway." No…she just is happy. And don't most of us at some point in life have to choose to be happy or miserable based on our circumstances? People with disabilities are not the only ones who "struggle."
What if you drove a car that you liked a lot, it worked just fine for you but everyone around you kept saying things like, "Wow! I think it's so great you can drive such a sad little car and still be happy. That is really inspiring!" Wouldn't that feel a little bit condescending and make you think, "Wait…what's wrong with my car?" When people make comments like that, of course they mean well, but it's basically saying that having a disability is clearly a bad thing–sorry that your body is less cool than my body and I just don't know how you deal with it.
Honestly, it can be a little complicated. I do think we need to try and not be offended all the time, especially when it is well intended…but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Just as I don't want to be seen as being "pretty good for a girl" disabled people don't want to be seen as pity cases doing the best they can despite the bad luck of being born as themselves.
I hope that helps you understand a little better. At least, that's my take on it.
Miggy,
I read some of your posts from following the hotlink on Brandis's blog. THANK YOU for putting this post out here. This is a sensitive issue — and I am the one with the special needs. I actually do feel rather insulted by people when I mention that I run a blog and do volunteer advocacy and give back the community "instead of just leeching the system". Either that or they look at me and say something to the tune of "that is just (congratulatory verb here)".
I understand that this is hard for those who do not live with certain limitations (most obvious case is using a wheelchair with limited use of my legs) to grasp that doing things like "helping me" open a door when I was doing so just fine is fairly demoralizing. This is why I usually do not say anything. But as a young adult (I'm 26) from the special needs community, my only request is to be treated with the same respect or even disrespect you would give others. I do not want special treatment or accolades just because I roll and don't stroll, or the fact that I cannot eat and I'm dependent on a central line for all intake needs, or for any other reason.
Like anyone I just want to be recognized by what I accomplish…not by what I cannot. By the same token, I do not want to offend those who feel a certain amount of awe when watching a person excel in an area where they themselves would never have thought possible. I think it's fine to marvel at how a person is able to adapt to meet their circumstance (because even I think it quite magnificent at how each person can find ways to interact with others and their environment no matter how high certain obstacles reach). I think it does cross the line, however, when we start plastering those who do have different limitations as demigods only for the purposes of driving a sense of inspiration for the "enlightenment" of others, because that is not the reason that particular person is there for. Not a single one of us — limits or not — were sent here only to serve as "perfect examples" of any particular virtue.
For that…you need to look up. Not at the television or computer screen.ReplyCancel
I love that you opened up this dialogue because it is so important. I am disabled after an auto accident when I was a teenager so I've seen disability from both perspectives and I've developed a very wicked sense of humor since then. I almost died laughing when I read the post you wrote about getting the ultrasound for baby #3. I find that if you add humor to almost any situation it helps a lot. I tell my friends and even my mom and sisters, please don't say that kind of stuff around me, you can call each other up and discuss how inspired you are by the fact that I'm living exactly the same life that I imagined for myself before the accident. Quick story, a few weeks ago my friend and I were in a long line at the grocery store and this older lady behind us was staring at me with an "aren't you brave" look. Finally she looked at my friend and said, it makes me so sad to see such a pretty girl in a wheelchair, and she and I both just busted out laughing. The woman was so offended that she changed lines.ReplyCancel
I just read over my post and I'm not sure it makes sense, but what I was trying to say is: it's okay and even sweet to be inspired by me, but please don't say anything about it in front of mean. if seeing me really affects you in that way, go home and call your friend and say I saw this really pretty young woman in a wheelchair and I was really inspired by her. ReplyCancel
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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I just saw your Alt post on Facebook, so HAD to bounce over to your blog to say hi! I'm going too, and though I'm in way over my head – I'm sooo excited and I don't care two bits. Talk about a small fish in a big pond – I don't even HAVE a blog yet! I've spent the past 4 days working like crazy to build my own website so I at least have SOMETHING! And I better get it done in time, because I put it on my biz cards. 🙂 I too am a mom of a girl with special needs. The first three years with her were intense. She had a whole bunch of surgeries, swallow studies, sleep studies, PT, OT, this that and everything else. For years we averaged 4 – 9 appts a week!! Many included loong drives to Boston for her care. She's smart, funny, and completely appropriately 7-year-old sassy. My life was completely devoted to her, and her care, and it's only been recently that I've started to do something for ME! And it feels good. And I can't wait for Alt!! I hope we get a chance to meet! And share stories about our wonder-kids 🙂 Stasia
Stasia–Please don't take my silence as disinterest! We've been moving and on the road and finally I have a chance to breathe. Anyway, I can't wait to meet you and talk about any and everything. And I'm SO glad you're finally getting a little time for you–we had some intense times as well, but not a full 3 years. Good job mama!
Like anything else in life, just embrace every moment you are given—whether you're at Alt, or mothering your sweet daughters, or moving your family across the country! Don't worry one little bit, you'll be as awesome as you always are! 🙂
Thanks Adrie!