I posted this picture on IG the other day with the following caption: I am brave because I keep sharing even though I’m not sure it’s making a difference. I am brave because I strive to meet stares, uncomfortable situations and rude comments with kindness and understanding, and I try to teach my kids to...
Looking for amazing and affordable modern art? If you have kids then you’re in luck, as you’ll have access to some of the best, most pure and free modern art ever! And if you don’t have kids, you could ask your nieces/nephews or your friends kids if they’d make some drawings for you. Still free!...
Hi Miggy, I love this post! I have an almost-2 year old who brings home copious amounts of 'art' from daycare. I feel guilty tossing any of it, but have learned to filter. We hung wires in a corner of her playroom, near her coloring table, and I clip her school art and things she does at home on the wires. We appreciate it for awhile and then move on. And she likes to hang things up, and then get them down to keep 'working' on them. Some items are just so endearing (the pumpkin she made at Halloween with all the face pieces in the wrong place!) that I've framed them for long-term appreciation. Thanks for the post, these are great ideas for saving kid's artwork (and great motivation to encourage their creativity). ReplyCancel
hi Miggy! Love that you do this with your kids art! I took my kids "art" to a local print shop and had them laminated…then used them as place mats at meal times! The kids loved choosing which one they wanted and during the meal there were always stories invented about the pictures. I still have the art placemats and my kids turn 20 in a week! Hoping someday to use them with the grandkids and tell them all about how their daddy made it…ReplyCancel
like this post descriptive and informative.
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Hey everyone! Today I want to introduce you to my friend Stasia whom I met at Alt Summit last summer. Stasia hails from Vermont where she loves with her husband and two kiddos. She runs a blog and personal styling business called Thrift Me Pretty which stems from her love of sustainable, eco-friendly fashion (hint...
Ahh, intuition, love that. I had that same intuition when Alicen was having seizures, we had multiple dr visits with me saying she was having what I thought were seizures, finally they listened to me and figured out that she was having infantile spasms, not sure if her pediatrician has ever seen her have them. Love Raisa's story.ReplyCancel
We’ve been in Cincinnati for almost exactly 6 months now and while it’s not entirely new since we lived here before and all, it still feels very new to us this time around. I’ve been a little mopey about embracing this new city as our home. We have no roots or family connections here. And...
My husband and I lived outside of Cincinnati in Oxford when he was going to grad school at Miami. We loved finding high ground next to the river to watch the fireworks at Riverfest and all of the old buildings. I think OTR has changed a little since we were there. We took my husbands double bass to a shop there to be fixed and the area was a little scary.
You should take a day trip to Oxford sometime. Miami's campus is amazing and its considered to be Ohio's Ivy League. Go uptown for great food, catch a hockey match, boutiques and my friend Lisa's pottery studio, You're Fired. (We met at the local LDS Branch) She has great kid's camp classes all through the summer and fun summer concerts on the square. Houston Woods is a great place to camp or do day hikes or rent canoes. Truly a charming town I would highly recommend. ReplyCancel
I have family in Cincy and spent my early childhood there. We visit several times a year and while it's not what some would think of as a city to fall in love with, I have. There is just so much to do and so many different areas to explore! As for restaurants, I've heard great things about The Precinct. It's in an old police patrol house. A little pricey but cool location! Also, over Memorial Weekend downtown holds their Taste of Cincinnati, which is a great family event and way to try foods from the area. I believe the month of April is Oysterfest and if you like raw (in a half shell) or cooked oysters, Washington Platform is your place. I'm really looking forward to this series! ReplyCancel
We didn't have any family or friends either when we first moved out to Cincy 10 years ago. The city has evolved and changed for the better. Sadly, we left Cincy last year and moved out to Westchester county, NY– the most expensive county in the entire country. Not a day goes by without me reminiscing about the great life we had thereReplyCancel
Friday I was talking with PSP and Lamp about Martin Luther King, who he was and why we had a day off of school because of him. PSP naturally knew and understood quite a bit more than Lamp, but of course I was trying to help bridge the gap so they both could understand a...
I understand what you're saying here, and by no means do I wants comment to undermine or detract from the core of your argument- but I hardly think disability is the "final frontier of civil rights". Please don't forget that there are still many states in our country that deny couples the ability to marry or adopt children based solely on their sexual identity. And there are still many churches (yours included) that deny practicing same sex couples many of the core fundamental rights that they deserve.
Again, I agree *mostly* with your arguement. But claiming that disability is the final frontier? Please. Then again- many people still see homosexuality as a disability. So, maybe it's a wash. ReplyCancel
Anon–I say this because the LBGT movement has a lot of support and a strong following. It is an issue that gets plenty of press and publicity. I'm not saying the fight is over or that it's all finished because clearly neither are the civil rights issues from the 60's. But on the whole race and gender issues are in the public eye and have a voice.
When you turn on your TV, open a magazine or go to see a movie how often do you see people of a broad cultural base represented? Pretty often. How many tv shows and movies feature gay and lesbian people? Quite a lot actually–leaps and bounds from when I was a kid. Tiffany's just featured for the first time an advertisement featuring a same sex couple. Gay, lesbian, bi, transgender people have been getting visibility in the media for quite some time. Again, I'm not saying the problem is solved but they've got a lot of attention and a lot of support.
Now by comparison when was the last time you opened a magazine and saw a person in a wheelchair in an ad that wasn't for wheelchairs? Yes Target and other retailers have started using children with Down Syndrome in their advertising and while that is a great first step,but I HAVE NEVER seen a child/adult with limb differences/wheelchair/trach/etc featured in a campaign that had nothing to do directly with their disability. People with disabilities shop at Target too, have regular lives and interests that don't have to do with their disability. People with disabilities make up 20% of the US population and while yes a lot of disabilities aren't visible, plenty of them are. You do not see that population even close to represented in the media. I can think of Parenthood where one of the children has Aspergers and he had a friend for a while in a wheelchair, and I also watch and love the show Switched at Birth that focuses on the deaf community and has featured a couple other characters with disabilities. There is a reality show called "FreakShow" that features people with limb differences (by the way many of us parents trying to raise limb different kids without these type of labels find find this whole idea/show very disheartening) but really, people with disables go largely unnoticed in many, many ways.
Beyond that it's a general attitude that I find is often not OK when it comes to race and gender issues, but still OK when it comes to disability. For instance I remember watching a TV show shortly after we found out about Lamp where someone was set up on a blind date and when the person came home they were upset with their friend who set them up. "He had one leg!" they complained and the audience laughed. Now imagine if that joke was "He was black!" That wouldn't be funny. Or how about people making a big deal of the killing of baby girls in China because they're female. Of course I agree that is horrific and wrong…but what about the people who decide to kill their unborn child because they found out in the womb that they have some sort of disability? Same thing. But there is no uproar. It is totally OK to throw away human life if we find out they're "damaged." And then we start talking about 'quality of life' and all that BS. Now what if sometime in the future there was a way to tell if your unborn child were going to be gay and people started aborting those gay fetuses? Would that be OK to you? I feel like a lot of people–even those who are pro choice–would have a problem with that, myself included.
Or how about the fact that people access fraudulent disability placards and plates so they can park in handicap parking spots? You probably don't know that this is a huge problem and one that affects our powerhchair toting family often? If people were going around impersonating black people or gay people on a mass scale to access certain benefits, my guess is that there would be a huge uproar. But with the disabled, it goes largely unnoticed.
I strongly agree with everything you wrote, both in the post and in your answer to anonymous.
Disability is the last frontier of civil rights for sure.
Most people do not realize that people with disabilities are people with full citizenship and, especially, the right to be, exist and be fine AS THEY ARE. Most people fail to understand that, to quote another blog that I love (http://www.confessionsofthechromosomallyenhanced.com/): "there is more than one path to a purposeful and fullfilling life". The birth of a child with Down syndrome or other detectable disability is seen irrefutably as a disgrace and it is considered perfectly (more and more every day) acceptable to say "nowadays these things should not happen," implying: these conditions must be diagnosed in uterus (which is fine in my opinion) and fetuses who are carriers SHOULD BE aborted because of that. I must point out that I am not questioning the right of choice, but the fact that the the termination is considered the only responsible and civil choice (hence those who choose otherwise are irresponsible bigots). In the same way the reduction of births of infants with the above conditions is widely considered a progress. Nobody who think and speak like that doubts remotely that his/her opinion is discriminatory.
On the contrary it is (thankfully!) less and less common and, particularly, less acceptable, to refer to homosexuality as a disgrace, something wrong that should be changed and eradicated.
In addition to eugenics, I could do many examples of how the majority of people do not see the inappropriate treatment of people of disability as a problem of discrimination and denial of the full humanity of someone. Just today at work a joke on a person with spastic paresis (that wrongly implied "he has a language impairment, then he is stupid.") sparked hilarity. The worst part? My colleagues are, like me, physicians. They should know better, aren't they?
Sorry for the lenght of this comment, I must learn to be more concise.
Thank you Miggy, as always.
Lieseli,
Thank you. These are some great thoughts. And yes I would agree that many people see no problem and in fact see progress in terminating life when a disability is associated with that life. And yes, yes, YES to the fact that many people do not even SEE discrimination in regards to people with disabilities. Like Anon's comment above when she/he sarcastically said "please." That tone and comment basically proved my point because she/he is so blind (no pun intended) and ignorant (not meant in a rude way, just matter of fact) to the very real discrimination of those with disabilities that he/she almost believes they don't exist or are not really a problem.
The final frontier of civil rights doesn't suggest all other civil rights issues are solved or that this is the biggest civil rights problem ever. It's the final frontier because the cause hasn't even started, because far too many people don't actually think the problem even exists or at the very least they're not willing to dignify it with their attention yet. I hope we get there sooner than later.
And yes, the doctors treating these patients should know better.
Thanks again Liseli. ReplyCancel
I read an article a couple months ago about Operation Underground Railroad, an amazing organization who rescue children from human trafficking. This organization first came to my attention because founder, Tim Ballard, is a BYU graduate and the story from BYU’s paper appeared in my Facebook feed. I read the article, then started looking up more about...
I found out about Operation Underground Railroad from a woman in my ward who is friends with Tim Ballard and she was helping launch the non-profit a year or so ago. I have followed them ever since and donated and hope to be able to donate more in the future. I really want to go see the documentary "The Abolitionists" once it's out in theaters. The documentary sounds amazing because it's actual footage from the sting operations they have carried out. Chilling to watch I'm sure. I hope they have continued success in their future. A very great cause indeed and one that makes me cry if I think about too much….ReplyCancel
This is so disturbing! I really appreciate you bringing this important topic to your blog. I will definitely look into being active in this organization.
The one group that I have been actively involved in is Silent No More. It is a national organization that allows women who have had an abortion to speak the truth about what abortion does to a person. It helps us give a voice to the children we did not bring into this world. I have attended local colleges to speak honestly about the lasting consequences of abortion. No matter which side you fall on, the truth still needs to be spoken and heard.
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I am deeply grateful to everyone fight against human traffic.
I think that, in the hope to give a thoughtful and effective, however small, contribution, it's better to be deeply involved with few causes, the ones more close to your heart, rather than getting lost in a thousand things… However we can't forget that the issues in which we are engaged aren't the only ones worth fighting for (sometimes activist of this or that seems oblivious of everything else).
Agreed, child trafficking and sexual abuse is utterly vile.
How do you reconcile this with the fact that Joseph Smith married a 14 year old? (source: https://www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng)ReplyCancel
My name is Renee Stirling DeHaan I am 44 years old. I was born without a foot on my right leg. I have a knee, leg and ankle but no foot. Because I have an ankle I have to have a prosthesis leg with a simes foot instead of one of the cool titanium legs....
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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MIggy, I have enjoyed reading your blog for a long time. I even told a special needs mom about it and you profiled her son! I am always curious about how families deal with adversity. I think it helps me be a better pediatric home care RN. Please keep writing!
Thanks Cathy! I love when people share the blog with other special needs families…it always helps to know you're not alone.
I've been reading your blog for a long time, and I absolutely love it. And now I feel bad for never commenting before! I don't know how many other people might be following without posting, but I'm sure you have a much bigger readership than you think.
The Special Needs Spotlights are really incredible. It's so interesting to see how much all special needs families have in common, even though they may have vastly different issues. I really related to the story you shared from the Tim Shriver interview. I've found that when I mention that my son has Asperger's, people almost always give me a sad/pitying look, coupled with an "Oh, I'm sorry." I end up feeling either confused or annoyed; why would they be sorry? My son is awesome. He has his challenges, but so does everyone, and he's a great kid. He just would not be who he is, and he wouldn't do some of the hilarious/amazing things that he does, without it. I didn't get to this place overnight, but I can honestly say that I wouldn't change it if I could, so why do people think it's such a bad thing?
I think it's important for people to know that we special needs parents love our kids exactly the way they are, just like everyone else does with their kids. You do an incredible job of spreading that message. I've learned so much from your blog, both about your beautiful family and about so many others. So, thank you for sharing your and others' stories, and please know that you've had a huge impact on this reader, and I'm sure many others.
Anon–Well these days with site tracking you can actually have a very good idea about readership. And honestly, I do have a decent readership. And I am very grateful for ANYONE who takes the time to read, share or consume this blog on any level. Blog reader in general has fallen significantly and I know I too have scaled back on the number of blogs I read…so really, I do appreciate it and am grateful for each one of you. And honestly, there is a part of me that wonders, "Would I really want this to become a full time career?" No. I would love a little more reach, a little more compensation and some cool opportunities, but it's also nice having the freedom to feel I can do whatever I want to with this space.
And yes we do love our kiddos just the way they are. I think the more visibility we see of the disabled–in media, in our schools, etc–the less stigma and fear people will have.
At the risk of being an over-commenting (annoying) reader, I've scaled back my comments on your blog. Today, though, I must comment! 🙂
Like you, I felt this drive to begin writing a public blog—I was given a very strong spiritual prompting to do it. Because that prompting wouldn't leave me alone, I wondered who I was supposed to reach?? I was disappointed when my blog didn't take-off, either.
But it's been super interesting to see that, over time, my blog posts have come in SO handy when I've needed to share thoughts with my little family, extended family members, and friends. Instead of taking the time to write out lengthy responses to their spiritual/life questions/problems, I've been able to email links to my blog posts, and share other thoughts as they come to me.
I also look at my blog as a family history tool. My posterity will never have to wonder what type of woman I was, for it will be clearly available online forever! Or, until Google takes it away. Ha ha. I'll probably print a book of my blog one day, and that thought makes me smile! 🙂
Long story short, I'm grateful you're blogging. I really wish you could have made it "big" by now because I feel you have so many wonderful insights to share with the world, yet like you said, you ARE making a difference to somebody. And that's how I view my small little blog, too. 🙂
I know I could be blogging about things that would generate more "hits", and I could change my adsense preferences/categories to make more money (I'm still at $1.47! Ha ha.), but I stay true to who I am—I'm not one of those bloggers who can be "bought". I'm truly so happy I can sleep at night because of my choices.
I still have a feeling you're going to gain a larger readership, but until that happens, just know that many people are reading what you're writing. I'm certain that one day, your daughters will read your blog and be utterly AMAZED at the wonderful woman they were blessed to have as their mother!
Thanks for your continued support Adrie! 🙂
I just wanted to say thank you for your blog. I read regularly but have never commented. I am a parent to a 'typical' child. Your blog helps me a be a better parent to my child and a better person. I can't remember how I ended up here but I am so glad I did.
Happy–great name.
Thank you so much!
I am a pediatric resident at CCHMC, and have read your blog for probably 4 years. I am not a big commenter. But I have found your special needs spotlights so enlightening and helpful. As a medical student, I remember being just crushed when the first patient I met (in a PICU) returned to the PICU 2 years later…and then died. Here was this human, and all I knew of her was the time she spent in an ICU on the verge of death, and that part of her life, the part in intensive care, was just awful. I felt so angry that that was the life she was dealt. Then one day, someone had the kindness to point out the photos on the wall in this little girl's unit–playing with her siblings, dressed up in fancy clothes for special occasions, running around in nature. Like any other child. It sounds ridiculous, but I had no idea that she had this other life, rich with family, joy, the outdoors, and many many meaningful experiences, in between her acute illnesses. I think not everyone has frequent experiences in every day life with someone who does have complex medical needs–or atypical physical features, or other differences that we may not understand in depth from the perspective of a friend, or family member. And I have found your blog so helpful in that you give us that perspective–not just your own, but the perspective of so many others. You show the joy, the richness of experience, the beauty. And it is fantastic.
I haven't shared your blog before, but I will on social media the next time you post a Friday highlight. 🙂
PS–I saw you recently out and about, but did not introduce myself, because I felt like a stalker. Next time I'll say hi (sorry).
What? Next time you see me (us?) say hi! It's always fun meeting readers. And I am SO happy to hear a resident reading the spotlight. And thanks for sharing that story…yes in-between the hard, sad and painful is a beautiful happy child. Sometimes that gets lost between conditions, therapy, diagnosis, etc.
Thanks again for the support!
Dear Miggy,
I want you to know that if you're making a small difference, you're definitely making a big difference! Every person who reads your blog (whether one, or one million) is learning how people with disabilities are people, not less than 'normal' people, just different. If only one person learned that lesson, that's still a big difference!
Sending love and hugs from Australia xoxo
P.S. LOVE LOVE LOVE the spotlights
Thanks Australia!
I have been reading your blog for a while, never commented. Thank you for writing. I don't have a special needs person in my life, however, I really appreciate your spotlights. I now understand better. Thank you for writing about your family, also, and sharing your life with me.
Miggy, I have been reading your blog for years and love hearing about your family. Keep sharing!
i love reading this blog. please keep going!
Thanks for sharing. The spotlights are so informative!!
What you're saying is completely true. I know that everybody must say the same thing, but I just think that you put it in a way that everyone can understand. I'm sure you'll reach so many people with what you've got to say.
I love reading your blog. I'm a teacher and it helps me to be more sensitive and more empathetic toward all of my students. I like the things you share, like the little rhyme that guides what you buy for your children on Christmas morning. I wish I had known that one when my kids were little. I find inspiration in your blog. Lamp teaches me that I can do hard things. PSP reminds me that we can be good people, really good people, even when life doesn't seem fair. And well, that baby ZuZu, just keep posting the pictures please. I like your simple decorating style and I love that you love God. Keep writing.
I don't remember how I found your blog, but I have been reading it for quite some time and I am embarrassed that I have never commented… Your special needs spotlight has really caused me to think about my interactions with kids with specials needs and their parents. I teach 4th-8th grade music and I love how inclusive music can be, your blog has shown me how important this really is. I used to be the kind of person who would avoid eye contact to be sure that no one thought I was staring, where as now, I will smile and say hi to a child who catches my eye. First hand accounts are so important when dealing with kids and their loving parents. You are doing a great job and even if your reach is not as far as you had hoped, it's still making a difference.
Your blogs is one of the very few that I will actually return to finish when interrupted. You write such worthwhile things, I always feel nourished. Thank you.
I read your blog and comment. Although my special needs child now is an adult. His disabilities are much different that the ones you interviews. Whatever anyone can do to help with compassion and understanding is helpful. I hope that you will continue your interviews and sharing your girls. Thanks.
Kia ora from New Zealand. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your three beautiful and spirited daughters – and your home – with the world. Your reach and influence are wider than you may ever know!
You have such a way with words. I am very grateful for your blog and I read it frequently. Your voice matters.
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Thank you for this post. <3