Writing about life, motherhood, disability advocacy and more.

Easy Kid Sewing Project: Boo-Boo Bags

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

A few years ago a friend of mine gifted us some boo-boo bags. She explained, “These are genius. Just keep them in the freezer and whenever your kid gets a scrape or a bump have them go get a boo-boo bag to put on their owie. Works like a charm.” She was right! Lets be...

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Spotlight Revisited || Selena + Michael

Friday, June 17, 2016

Hey you guys! Since I don’t have a current spotlight I’d like to post another oldie but a goodie. I have so many favorites, and this one is up there. Trust me–worth the read. Original post here. Also, here’s a fun little clip to start your Friday off right! Have a great weekend! ...

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Something You Can Do Today

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Orlando. Aurora. Sandy Hook. San Bernardino. ENOUGH. I’m not here to debate or give talking points. I’m not here to convince anyone of what to do. BUT I do want you to know that I support the Second Amendment AND gun law reform. You can do both! These things are not mutually exclusive. If you...

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Special Needs Spotlight || Esmé

Friday, June 10, 2016

I am Hillary. I’m a lot of things: a PhD, a writer, a non-profit founder, a mixer of oddball cocktails. But most importantly I am the mom of a ridiculously fun, goofy, determined, and super cute five-year-old girl named Esmé. Esmé is my best buddy, my muse, and my teacher. Esmé is also medically-fragile, severely...

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Fear to Love: A Reader Response Post

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

So excited and honored to be featured in my first print magazine interview with Lunch Lady. Lunch Lady is a publication out of Australia but you can get your copy at (deep breath) Anthropologie here in the states (from what I can tell, it’s only available online). I have to admit I was a bit...

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KayliJune 9, 2016 - 1:57 am
Really beautifully said.ReplyCancel
rebeccaJune 9, 2016 - 2:24 am
Just lovely, lovely and more beautiful. ReplyCancel
RaeJune 9, 2016 - 2:25 am
Wow. This is so beautiful and powerful. Thanks for sharing. ReplyCancel
JupiterJune 9, 2016 - 5:36 am
Beautiful. Perfectly written. Fear to love; I hadn't thought about it that way, but it is so true. I recently wrote a blog post about the fact that I love my life–medically fragile child and all, and that sometimes my special boy is my EASY child. I would have never believed that at the beginning of this journey. Fear to love–and joy. ReplyCancel
KrisJune 10, 2016 - 3:13 am
I've been reading your blog for years, and this is the best thing (of many really awesome things!) you've ever written. Fear to love. That's magic. ReplyCancel
AllisonJune 10, 2016 - 4:00 am
This is so, so beautiful, Ms. Miggy. Tears and love and hugs to you all rolled into one. I want to share this with everyone I know.ReplyCancel
Alexandra BurkeJune 10, 2016 - 5:21 am
Brilliant and so eloquently said. Miggy, you need your own TED talk. Luckily I work right next to an Anthropology so I will attempt to get a copy tomorrow. ReplyCancel
AnonymousJune 10, 2016 - 4:22 pm
Thank you so much for posting this. I just found out at an ultrasound this week my unborn baby is at an elevated risk for Down Syndrome. I just never envisioned this even being something we would have in front of us when having another baby. It's been a shock for both my husband and I, and I've struggled with such fear and anxiety (am I a good enough mother for a special needs baby? Can I really do this? I feel like I struggle on a daily basis with my other child to be a good mom!) since we got the news. But I've also been filled with an overwhelming love for this little baby! We are still waiting on some more tests to confirm that that baby is at an elevated risk for T. 21, but I came here to reread some of the amazing stories to comfort and inspire myself. If this is what God wills for my family, I am not alone! So thank you for this blog, the interviews and this post in particular. ReplyCancel
HeatherJune 12, 2016 - 3:53 pm
Absolutely beautiful. ReplyCancel
EktaFebruary 16, 2017 - 8:01 am
So beautiful, miggy! I've read this numerous times over the last few months, and it always speaks to me.ReplyCancel
AnonymousJuly 13, 2017 - 6:03 pm
This is so beautiful. Thank you so much.

I have to add that I came across your blog while pregnant with our fourth baby. At the time, I didn't know that he would be diagnosed with Down syndrome a few days after birth. I was racked with fear. I sometimes still am (and to be clear, I've had just as much fear and anxiety about my "typical" kids, because honestly, anything can happen to anyone at any time. Like you said "gamble."). He is 6 months old and there are a lot of challenges, a lot of adjustments, a lot of hard things. BUT I wouldn't change a single thing about him or our life. I love him so much.

Thank you so much for so beautifully and clearly articulating just a glimmer of what this journey is like.ReplyCancel
Erin LorencAugust 22, 2017 - 7:35 pm
Now you have me crying at work… Amazing message. When I was pregnant friends/family and doctors asked if I was going to have the extra tests done to find out about issues the baby might have. I always said no. Why find out about something I can't change that will make me worry more and stress more. I told them that I was going to have a baby to love no matter how it came to me, I didn't need the tests. ReplyCancel
Felix FrickApril 21, 2018 - 7:59 am
Wonderful beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your site, how can i subscribe for a blog website? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept facebook.com login ReplyCancel

Special Needs Spotlight || Tatum

Friday, June 3, 2016

Our little (some would say big!) family lives in northern Colorado and includes myself and my husband (Spencer), Isabel and Milo (12 year old twins), Keeler (hilariously entertaining 7 year old), and Tatum (adorable 1 year old). Spencer is a child and family therapist who specializes in adoption and trauma and I (Erin) am a...

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You’ve Got Your Hands Full: Validation or Passive Aggressive Dig?

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Hello. We’re just getting back into the swing of things after spending the past 5 days in San Antonio. B had a dental conference there so the whole family came along. It was a great jump start to our summer! We had a super rough travel day getting there (see here) but all of...

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GwenJune 1, 2016 - 8:47 pm
I've never taken it as a "dig", and I've said it many time too, and never meant it in a mean spirit. ReplyCancel
acte gratuitJune 1, 2016 - 10:25 pm
I have five boys, so when I go out in public (even if it's with only 4 or 3 or 2 of them) I get all kinds of comments. "You have your hands full" (yes) and "Were you trying for a girl?" (yes, but we woulda had five anyway) are the most common.
I know all sorts of moms have all sorts of problems with these comments and allow themselves to get annoyed.
(I know because lots of my friends forward me articles about this exact subject…)

But after giving it a lot of thought, this is what I've determined:
I think that our neighbors out in the world are just looking for ways to connect with us.
They look at us and have a split second to determine if they are going to take a chance on reaching out to a stranger and they say the first thing that comes to mind.
I choose to believe that 98% of the time, the comments are innocent. No, they're not thought out, but standing in line or in an elevator with a stranger doesn't always lend itself to sharing profound thoughts or pithy comments. Heaven knows I've made plenty of inane comments to strangers just to fill the silence.

There are (very rarely) times when people make comments with a sneer and look of disgust. I respond with a smile and comment about how lucky I am. Those people clearly are not blessed with five awesome little boys like I am and don't know what they are missing out on.

But I think most people are just trying to be friendly and life is too short to be getting worked up every time I leave the house.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 😉 Sorry for the rant!ReplyCancel
AnnaJune 1, 2016 - 11:05 pm
As a pediatrician who does not have children yet, I've said this many times to parents in my office. I have always meant it to be validating and empathetic, like "Parenting is not easy! It's ok to feel overwhelmed sometimes." I'm going to have to start paying attention to how people react when I say that, and maybe have a different pat phrase I guess. ReplyCancel
DebbyJune 2, 2016 - 12:41 am
I have said this many times. I meant it as the parent was doing amazing. If I felt differently I would have said, "Looks like you need help."ReplyCancel
JohannaJune 2, 2016 - 2:14 am
I never thought of this as a dig, and I've even said it to people before. I think it's more a lighthearted acknowledgement of the fact that herding small excitable children can sometimes be a mammoth task – I think of it more that people are giving you a little nod for all the effort you are putting in. Some people take every single thing said to them as a passive aggressive attack… but I really do think that this one, unless said with contempt and eyerolling, is benign.ReplyCancel
KarenJune 2, 2016 - 10:18 am
I never took that personally, I would think it's someone just reliving the days in their minds with their kids, or imagining what it might be like. However in reference to the comment "looks like you need help" I'd be offended at that one no matter the intent. Way to proud for that to fly unless I really knew the person.ReplyCancel
AnonymousJune 2, 2016 - 5:03 pm
Oh PLEASE! I cannot see how such a comment can be taken as offense (provided it's not accompanied by a sneer or the like) I also have three kids and I never once felt this was a slight in any way!ReplyCancel
Genevieve BradyJune 3, 2016 - 3:09 pm
I never took offence, now my children are bigger I sometimes say to a mother with children running amok 'hang in there' or similar, with what I hope is a supportive smile. Sometimes I ask can I help, when the shopping bags need loading, or the stroller unfolding. I liked it when people made a supportive comment, made me feel less alone.ReplyCancel
AnonymousJune 3, 2016 - 6:46 pm
It had never even occurred to me that this could be offensive. I think the second commenter hit the nail on the head (as have all the other commenters). People need to lighten up. Everyone is so sensitive about one thing or another that it makes a person fearful to even speak to another person (and then they are perceived as "stuck-up") Sigh.ReplyCancel
anitawarnick.comJune 4, 2016 - 2:24 am
Those SA girls must be so uptight! ? For the record, it's really not that big of a deal to me, I Really don't give it much thought. It's just something you get used too as a mom of three hooligans. But I still want to try Lisha's rebuttal to prove I can be cool like her ?ReplyCancel
Avery Nelson PatelJune 8, 2016 - 8:30 pm
I've had it said to me & I've said it to others as well. I've never been offended & I certainly don't mean offense. I think it's just small talk. People like to connect. It's like commenting that I have long hair (yes, I do) or its hot out or something.ReplyCancel
Rebekah PetersonJune 9, 2016 - 4:57 pm
LIke you said, it's the tone and the expression. Most of the time it's friendly, but at times, it's dismissive or downright condescending. We've got 9 and our youngest uses life-support equipment. If it's friendly, I usually reply with "yeah, it's crazy, but it's great!" and a big grin. If it's negative, I reply with, "I wouldn't have it any other way" and a smile with a bit of steel in my eye. ReplyCancel
HaleyJune 20, 2016 - 6:18 pm
I only have one child, but people will say this to me when I'm out and about with my kid and my dog and usually doing something else. Honestly whenever I hear that comment, I'm always having a good time with them so I don't really see it as a dig.ReplyCancel