Hi! My name is Nicole. My husband Rick and I have two children, Fritz (17) and Marina (15). We met each other over 26 years ago at Iowa State University, and have been married for 21. After living in Illinois for several years after getting married, we have lived in Knoxville, Tennessee the past 13...
It was August of 1996 and I was 19 years old with a freshly broken heart and a savings account that had over $2,000 for the first time in my life, when I boarded a plane headed to Honolulu Hawaii. Having spent my freshman year of college at a community college in Orem, Utah hanging...
We were there last summer and may go back this July – on my MUST list:
Skydiving over the North Shore (my dad and I did this last summer and it was hands-down AMAZING, better than the two times I've skydived on the mainland)
Waikiki catamaran ride (we did one that had a fun maitai bar on it; you could find something a little more kid friendly 😉 )
Fish tacos at Haleiwa Joes (…twice)
Breakfast at Downbeat Diner
Snorkeling at Shark's Cove (!!!) I can NOT recommend this enough!!!
Pearl Harbor is really emotional, but definitely something I think anyone visiting Oaho should do once. We won't go again if we return this summer, just because it's very emotionally exhausting – but incredibly meaningful.
Hawaiian plate lunch and poke from Yama's Fish Market
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Your post brings back memories of my summer at BYU Hawaii several years ago! It was the first trip that I made happen without my parents' planning it (booked the plane ticket, found housing, scheduled the shuttle, etc) but I went with my roommate/best friend, so I was not alone. Still, it taught me how much work it takes to just plan a trip! When we took the shuttle from the airport to Laie, we were so surprised to see pineapple growing as bushes along the rode (I don't know if we thought they grew on trees, or what?) Our shuttle driver even stopped and let us take a picture of the pineapple plants. We did go sky diving on the north shore, which was amazing, but I personally don't think I would go now–as a mom to five kids, I feel much more aware of my mortality than I did as a college student. I remember Matsumoto's Shave Ice and so many things you mentioned. We used to walk up Kamehameha Highway to Foodland and buy Ben and Jerry's ice cream when it was on sale and then sit in our backyard which was on the beach, and eat ice cream out of the container in the dark. It was so simple, but its one of my favorite memories there! We loved Sunset Beach and went snorkeling at Hanauma Bay. We were amused at the stop signs, which were BLUE, in Kaneohe, and the trash cans in Subway which said "Mahalo." We went to the Dole Pineapple visitor's center, Pearl Harbor, the flea market to buy lava lavas, and the PCC and the Laie temple. We hiked Diamondhead. Also, there was a small island that I believe was called "Goat Island" that we could swim/walk in the water to from Hukilau beach (is that the right name?) and we would go explore it and look for crabs. I'm not sure if my comment is very helpful to you, but it brought back a lot of memories! I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time!ReplyCancel
Long-time reader, rare commenter. I've got family in Hawaii and visit pretty regularly with my kids. Oahu is one of my favorite places, but it has gotten pretty crowded over the last 15 years, especially the touristy areas (just FYI). We always plan a lot of beach time–Kailua and Waimanalo are some of my favorite beaches (Kailua can be crowded, and the bathrooms last summer were some of the nastiest I've ever seen). Ko Olina also has nice beaches, but when we were there last summer, the parking was almost always full (and if you're not already on the west side, it's probably not worth it). We often take advantage of the time adjustment and little kids that wake up early to hit the beach first thing in the morning, sometimes even packing a breakfast to eat there. We can get in a few solid hours of beach time before things are too crowded and the sun is too strong. Going to the beach in the late afternoon is nice too–my kids have very fair skin and burn easily, so we can't spend the whole day.
We always stop at Ted's on the North Shore for pieces of pie, and if you want a family-friendly restaurant option, Zippy's is a nice choice. They have a bunch all around the island. Another restaurant we tried in Honolulu last year was called Murakame Udon, which is a chain from Japan, and it was so good! My kids loved it! I think the Dole Pineapple Plantation is overpriced and cheesy, but they have a great gift shop. It also includes a section with local artists selling things like jewelry, art, and other things. I got a really nice bag there a few years ago. Much better than the swap meet. And you may already know this, but if you want souvenirs, WalMart or Longs is a better place to buy them than any of the gift shops.
Some newer things we've tried recently include stand-up paddleboarding in Haleiwa, Waimea Valley (they have a paved trail up to a waterfall you can swim in), and visiting the Bishop Museum (great for a break from the beach if you need it–you can watch them melt rocks into lava). Also, if you're going to PCC, get the package with tickets for the night show because it is super worth it. Have a fun trip!ReplyCancel
My university experience had some similarities. I mean, I had a place to live, and my parents dropped me off… Oh and there were a big handful of other kids from my high school who went to the same university. However, I remember crossing the border from NY, where I grew up, into Quebec, where I was attending university, and seeing ALL the signs in French and being somewhat surprised, thinking "hmm I guess everything is in French here…?". Haha! I had taken 6 years of Spanish, but didn't know any French. Id been to Canada before, but to Alberta, where my mother is from. And no one speaks French lol. I mean, signs in national parks are bilingual, as is all product packaging, but that's about it. The entire university system is set up slightly differently. Additionally, the church has a *much* smaller presence in Canada than in the states, and especially in Quebec. Anyway, it all worked out and I've been in Canada for nearly all of the last 16 years. But looking back – oh man was I really had no idea what I was doing! ReplyCancel
My major 'independent' step was also a move to Oahu to start graduate school when I was 21, 6,000 miles away from everyone I knew. I stayed for 6 years and return often. I have really enjoyed sharing my favorite places there with my kiddo on return visits. Have fun and eat sandwiches from Kua Aina and Ba-Le for me 🙂ReplyCancel
We’re in Oahu now. A friend needed dog and plant care for a couple of months, our family jumped at the chance. We’ve done all the stuff you said – got scuba certified, learned to surf, hiked, camped, and eaten all the Hawaiian treats (Mango Otai, malasadas, Ted’s haupia pie). It’s been amazing. We didn’t rock climb here, but spent three weeks in Yosemite on our way and got our fill. My husband, Erik, climbed The Nose on El Cap. Our visit is winding down and I’ve got a cross country road trip from San Francsico to New York City with four kids to look forward to while my husband is in a sailing race to Bermuda. Like you, we’ve got a book coming out in March 2019 (Congratulations!!!) so we have to get some work done. I say – go bold. We let our kids make their own choices and we let them pay their own way through college. They have been really grateful to own their own lives and are way more adventurous than I was at their ages.ReplyCancel
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Good questions! I still buy most of the kids clothes, although the Grandmas like to spoil them too. My son gets a lot of hand-me-downs, so I mostly have to buy him boring things like shorts or socks. My daughter's taste is becoming apparent (age 7) so at the moment I feel like I can pick things I think she would like (rainbows/unicorns heh heh)….. I try to let them wear what they want within reason (aka no bathing suits to school, etc)…. sometimes I ask if my daughter would want to put a skirt on over leggings in situations where they leggings are thin and she's wearing a fitted shirt (aka it looks like she's wearing pajamas haha). I'm trying!ReplyCancel
Miggy: Welcome Shannon! I’m excited to be featuring you today, thank you for participating. You stated in your first email to me that you are an adult with a spinal cord injury. Could you please tell us about the injury–how old were you when it happened and what was the immediate aftermath like–for example was...
Also want to say that men with SCI can also father biological children, often but not always with reproductive assistance due to problems with ejaculating. Men are 80% of people with SCI. For women fertility and childbirth have nothing to do with the spinal cord. Uterine contractions bring the baby most of the way down without need to push. Some women with SCI do get or choose a Cesarean section, especially higher injuries, due to a complication of SCI called autonomic dysreflexia where blood pressure can go up very high. I don't have this…more common in quadriplegia.ReplyCancel
If you follow me on Instagram than this is no secret, but it might be new to some of you here… we got a dog! He’s a boy named August (no alias this time, you get to know his real name!) and he is a standard poodle. Yes I know he looks like a doodle,...
Your pup is so sweet! Compared to my family, your doggy situation sounds familiar in some ways but different in some. We have a labradoodle named Marlowe who looks a lot like August, just brown and maybe a bit smaller. Marlowe is 45 lbs, which I've found to be a great size – he feels like a big dog (at least when there aren't any real big dogs around!), but I can pick him up and he can't drag me down the street. I can see how a bigger dog would be more intimidating. Personality-wise, sounds like there are some real similarities! I often say that the only bad thing about Marlowe is how darn excited he gets to see other people/animals. And it's still true at 7.5 years old! He used to do a lot of pulling on the leash (for years!), but he's gotten a lot better now. I'm sorry about the nipping! We had Marlowe for 4 years before we had kids, so we didn't have that issue. I can honestly say though that Marlowe has never had an aggressive moment in his life, which is wonderful with little kids. Hopefully August will learn quickly how to play with his new sisters!
I wonder why it is that you're keeping the dog out of your bedrooms? We encourage Marlowe to sleep downstairs, away from the bedrooms, because his "must bark at every noise" instinct seems to be stronger if he's in or right outside our bedrooms at night. We stopped crating him at night years ago, though. Marlowe also loves coming upstairs with us at naptime and bedtime to put the kids to bed, he's so sweet.
So nice that you got an older, potty-trained and crate-trained pup! I think adding any dog to a family with three kids is going to be quite an adjustment, though. When we got Marlowe when he was 9 weeks old it definitely seemed like a full time job. I feel like we were able to do it because my husband worked from home and could keep an eye on him.
You ask about dog toys! I think that depends on August's personality. Marlowe doesn't seem interested in toys if he's by himself. If we have people over he seems to have nervous energy and likes to either rip stuffed toys apart or chew on antlers. (You can buy deer/elk antlers specifically for dogs to chew on – Marlowe seems to like the forked ones best!) And of course he loves to chase balls! Any old tennis ball would do, though he loves ones with squeakers in them…
Ok I think I've rambled enough! I'm new to your blog and I'm loving reading about your family and your special needs spotlights! Good luck!ReplyCancel
Thank you for your kind words.
So we're keeping him out of the bedrooms for now because he tends to grab all the small things on the floor and chew them up. And while he sleeps in the crate right now, I'm thinking that some day when he's a little older I'll be fine with him sleeping on a doggy bed out in the open. ReplyCancel
There is a rubber toy you can put peanut butter in and put it in the freezer. When ever I need to crate Toby for a longer period of time I take that peanut butter toy out and it entertains him for awhile. And I feel less guilty about that time in his crate. It gets better! Toby stresses Mark out too, he thinks like your hubby. But Toby is growing on him very slowly. And honestly I just love the evening cuddles with me and my sweet doggy. -Nita ReplyCancel
Your doggy adoption story sounds very similar to my own. My husband & I adopted a large breed, older puppy who was housebroken & very sweet, but full of energy and willful. I’ve never had a dog before, & my hubby had a lab for a short time as a kid. Our Hunter is 7 now & we love him and things are now calm, but it was a big adjustment.
My takeaways: it took an entire year for his whole personality to come out and for our routines to feel comfortable. Part of this was us getting educated – I was surprised by how loud and firm you really need to be for the dog to understand not to do something! Also, big dogs need to be better behaved so we had to work out something where we knew he would listen to us.
Practically for the pulling issue – we use a Gentle Leader to walk our dog. It’s a leash that goes around the dog’s nose, not neck or shoulders. This means that if they pull, they do so with the power of their head, not their whole shoulders. Game changer! Hunter is 65 lbs & could pull me with a normal leash. With the gentle leader he can’t.
We also put him in doggy daycare once a week when he was younger. I thought it was extravagant ($!) at first, but he needed the exercise and was much better behaved after. Part of the mania was just extra energy he needed to burn off. Also, that had the bonus effect of getting him used to going somewhere with other dogs. It’s the same place we board him when we go on vacation so he is excited to go because he knows he’s going to play with his friends.
Hope this helps & best of luck in your doggy adventure! ReplyCancel
I've never heard of a gentle leader dog collar…I'll have to check that out–thanks! And yes, I can see that a lot of this is just an adjustment. Some days my husband has been stressed if he pulls too much on the leash or if he barks too long at night, but then the next day he's all cuddly with our puppy again. I might have to check out doggy daycare as well. So thanks!ReplyCancel
I know you’ll get a lot of advice but we are in a similar situation where we just got a year old doodle. I have started listening to a wonderful podcast calls The Dogs Way with professional trainer Seah McDaniels and it is wonderful. He addresses leash pulling and other annoyance behaviors which can be blamed a lot on lack of exercise. Give it a try! It’s super helpful!! Good luck with your beautiful pup!ReplyCancel
I typed a long message but accidentally deleted it, so I'll just say: congrats on getting your pup! August looks so very sweet. I had doubts both before and after getting my dog, but now I've had her for several years and I can say it was one of the best decisions I've made. She adds so much to life. It definitely is an adjustment period at first, but so worth it. For the pulling – you might consider a front clip harness. I've done a ton of training too, but the harness was the game changer for me. ReplyCancel
I love him! we have two puppies.i know two! and 1 is 14 months old and sometimes i look at him and think. what was I thinking? 3 kids under 9 years old and 2 dogs… But they are both amazing in their own way and we love them.
But what was I thinking???
The nipping is a pain! we had that with our first puppy. With hard work it disappears. The trainer will take you through it all. Before you know it all the love and cuddles you get makes up for the poop and vomit. 🙂 ReplyCancel
Congrats on the pup! I think all kids deserve to grow up with a beloved cat or dog. I had that privilege and yes, pets are a good thing. Please be sure the crate is big enough for him. So many keep dogs in crates that only allow them to lie in a very tight crouch, versus comfortably lying on their sides and relaxed. I wouldn't be happy myself, if left in that position for even 15 minutes let alone hours on end. Dogs are social (pack) animals and are extremely stressed when left alone, so kudos for keeping him in the house around his new pack, your family, as much as possible. Remember, he spends a lot of time at home, and needs lots of exercise, walks, time off the leash at dog parks, or doggie daycare. Love him, treat hime kindly and with love and you will have a loyal devoted new family member/best friend forever.ReplyCancel
I've been raising Seeing Eye dogs for 15 years and am currently raising our 14th, a large German Shepherd. You are on point with getting a trainer but please make sure what that person is doing and telling you feel right. Nipping is a puppy behavior and is usually eliminated early in their first year. That your pup is doing it at a year just makes it a little more challenging to correct. Although our pups must pull (due to their planned career) that is also usually an easy correct–you can always take the easy way out here and purchase one of the leash like products that eliminate pulling. Poodles are high energy dogs and can be notoriously stubborn. Exercise is key in managing behavior as it drains excess energy. Do NOT take him to a dog park but do find a neighbor with a well mannered dog he can romp and run with. Greeting manners are also easily addressed but require an enormous amount of consistency. Your trainer can show you how to teach a "go to your place" command you can use when people are entering your home and do not wish to be assaulted. You need not ever "dominate" your dog or play the "alpha" you simply need to be the mom! Dogs respond well to your insisting on being the one in charge–just like with your kids!ReplyCancel
He sounds wonderful! We adopted our dog around 9 months and it was so nice to get a dog that didn't need to be potty and crate trained. If you don't already have one, get a Kong for your pup. They're great to chew on and even put treats or peanut butter. They're great for days that the pup may be in the crate for a long period.ReplyCancel
I often joke that our pup is very similar to a human toddler. She is 75% poodle, 25% lab and needs exercise to be well mannered. She can be stubborn and likes to test her boundaries. She responded very well to the electric fence and plays well with the neighbor dog who comes to visit. She LOVES fetch, so there is an easy exercise option if we cannot walk her one day. She does very well out of her crate. She does not spend the day in a cage anymore, but at two years old, we do still have the cage out in case we need it and we have a gate still blocking our stairs. She can only go upstairs with us. She spends the night in our son's room, and is very polite in there since she can't see out those windows haha. She too had a nipping problem but has learned those behaviors due not give her the attention she desires so that has died down. Our biggest issue is that she believes she dominates over our youngest, and we do still continue to deal with that – sounds like a similar issue you are experiencing. She will steal our youngest's stuffed animals, socks, etc. But we have gotten that down to manageable occasions and everyone is in a happy place. Now it is more like a troublesome younger sibling and less like a battle for control. A trainer was very helpful for us, but we had to do a couple sessions.ReplyCancel
We had a dog who wanted to chew up my underwear (not from my body, but clean, dirty, didn't matter) and other random stuff occasionally (oooh I just remembered – period paraphernalia was a big hit with him too), so I started always closing my bedroom door to keep him from getting in my room and finding stuff to chew up. So, yes, with a boy dog and 3 daughters, you might be closing doors for the rest of your life. But, having a pet is one of the best experiences in life! ReplyCancel
Hi, I’m Megan. I’m a stay-at-home mama to 3 girls, the youngest of whom has Smith-Magenis syndrome, a rare genetic disorder. I’m also a knitter–it keeps me sane and is portable. My husband, Keith, is a forensic architect. We live in Virginia but long for the West Coast. I write about us (sporadically) here at...
May I just say that every Friday night I look forward to the time when I will have some peace and quiet and I will be able to read the spotlight!!!
Each one is fascinating and inspiring!
Today's mama, as you, Miggy, and all the others that have participated in the series are simply AMAZING as are their beautiful kiddos!
Thank you so much!ReplyCancel
Thank you so very much for your thought provoking words regarding your family. This particular spotlight spoke especially to me with what all your family faces. You seemed to have highlighted the positive which I realize is sometimes very difficult to do. Thanks again for your words you shared. ReplyCancel
Excellent reminder not to be judgemental or rude if you see a child having a meltdown. I know I've gotten on my horse and thought to myself, "I wouldn't allow my child to behave like that", but we don't know the full story. I know the meltdowns *I* would have, as a mature adult, if I was living on only four hours of sleep! Best wishes to Aurelia and her family.ReplyCancel
Hi, I’m Megan. I’m a stay-at-home mama to 3 girls, the youngest of whom has Smith-Magenis syndrome, a rare genetic disorder. I’m also a knitter–it keeps me sane and is portable. My husband, Keith, is a forensic architect. We live in Virginia but long for the West Coast. I write about us (sporadically) here at...
May I just say that every Friday night I look forward to the time when I will have some peace and quiet and I will be able to read the spotlight!!!
Each one is fascinating and inspiring!
Today's mama, as you, Miggy, and all the others that have participated in the series are simply AMAZING as are their beautiful kiddos!
Thank you so much!ReplyCancel
Thank you so very much for your thought provoking words regarding your family. This particular spotlight spoke especially to me with what all your family faces. You seemed to have highlighted the positive which I realize is sometimes very difficult to do. Thanks again for your words you shared. ReplyCancel
Excellent reminder not to be judgemental or rude if you see a child having a meltdown. I know I've gotten on my horse and thought to myself, "I wouldn't allow my child to behave like that", but we don't know the full story. I know the meltdowns *I* would have, as a mature adult, if I was living on only four hours of sleep! Best wishes to Aurelia and her family.ReplyCancel
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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I'd like to just mention that the AFP test is a *screening*, not a diagnostic test. It doesn't test positive or negative for anything. It just measures levels which *could* indicate an issue and may warrant further testing (of course, if expectant parents wish to pursue the testing).
Correct. I guess in my statement of “testing positive”, I meant to say that the doctor who phoned stated the baby (Marina) had Down Syndrome. (**That conversation was not with my regular doctor, and was not a good “experience” in my life… I chose not to go into full detail in this article).
That doctor said the baby had Down Syndrome. That is why we had the Level 2 Ultrasound done… to get more answers. When that didn’t give conclusive results, an amniocentesis was offered. We didn’t want to risk a miscarriage, so we declined.
There are a variety of reasons for a “false positive” AFP.
Love, love this story. Hearfelt and informative! Thank you for sharing. Fritz and Marina are blessed to have supportive parents who constantly advocate for them!
Amazing story about an amazing family! I have learned so much about how to better serve my students from the wisdom I have gleaned from Nicole! Thank you for sharing your heart!