Over a year ago, I went onto my Instagram stories to bemoan some parenting stress. In short, I talked about the fact that I was yelling at my kids, not daily, but frequently, and it was a problem. As I opened up on Instagram and asked for books or other solutions I got a huge...
Hi!!! I’m Liz, a very lucky mama of two amazingly perfect lil’ ladies, Ella Mae (9) and Ruby (7). We live in Austin, Texas with their hunky daddy, Tim and our three dogs and two cats. Life is sometimes a bit cray but we wouldn’t have it any other way! We found out at Ruby’s...
I love a good project. I also love a good Netflix movie and a bowl of ice cream. Unfortunately, I may have been caught up in the latter activity for a little too long. Just like my favorite baby book quips “sleep begets sleep” I would also add that “productivity begets productivity” and “Netflix and chill...
It’s been a while since I’ve done a Lately post, which is usually just a mash up of what we’ve been up to in the past month or so, as well as a mash up of some random thoughts. –We went to Gatlinburg in the Smokey Mountains at the end of summer right before school...
This post is sponsored by Kid Made Modern as part of an ongoing conversation about fostering creativity in children. Other posts in this series include 5 tips for creating an art closet for kids, fostering creative expression through style, and I’ll stop the world and make with you–DIY sticker books. I am so thankful to...
Did you get your copy(ies) of Teen Vogue yet? I’m on the hunt for all three covers and so excited to see representation in the fashion industry starting to extend its wide arms around the disability community. We need it! If you’re not sure what I’m talking about Teen Vogue put three different women with...
First a post about keepsakes and memory organization and now this? I know, I know I’m not exactly an organization expert but with a move to our new house eminently approaching ’tis the season of my life. And if it’s the season of your life as well, perhaps this post will be helpful. Also, these...
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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Man, this is what I needed to read today. I have been feeling that "white knuckling" feeling too much recently and saying that doesn't have to be my normal, feels really kind to myself.
Yeah…it is a HUGE relief.
Hugs and encouragement from Ohio.
Amen! I am on Lexapro (antianxiety) and it has been life-changing. I had turned into such a tense, unhappy parent and partner. There were some personal crises in my life that had sent me mentally spiraling, and I just couldn't get out. For anyone who is considering medication but unsure, one thing I can recommend is to see a psychiatrist. I don't see mine for therapy, but she was amazing at sussing out which med would be best for me and at what dosage, then checking in with me often for the first year. (Also, when I wasn't sure whether it was working, she said, "well, the first time I saw you, you said, A, B, C, and I notice that you haven't mentioned any of those things…") Amy, I know how many steps it takes to get from that, "maybe I need help" feeling to actually seeing a therapist and getting meds, so you get a huge gold star!
Yes it takes A LOT of steps to get from that first step to help. I like your suggestion of seeing a psychiatrist as that would probably be a much quicker path to medication and relief. And it sounds like the person you met with was very thorough.
I didn't go on anti-depressants *for* the twitchy, thin-skinned, 2 steps from rage state, but holy crap did they help. Like… I cannot overstate the amount they helped. I wish this were talked about more, because the depression symptoms I always saw were "can't shower, feel sad 24/7," not "flayed by every bad sensory input and small thing that annoys you, mind raw and ready to snap with anger".
RIGHT. Getting on medication isn't always about the classic depression symptoms and I think a lot of people don't realize that. In fact I called a good friend of mine who has dealt with mental health issues for a long time to talk about my symptoms–and most of it centered ruminating thoughts that I couldn't seem to let go of and being in my head ALL. OF. THE. TIME–it was moreso those things than it was yelling at my kids…I just thought that was a by product of the constant anger and annoyance I felt.
Wow this is hitting close to home. Makes me think I need to look into this further. I hateeeeee when I catch myself spiraling into yelling at my kids. 🙁
It is really worth looking into. Even talking to a close friend or family member who has dealt with mental health issues could be a good starting point. For me, reaching out and talking to a few people was part of the push to get me help.
This was so helpful. I've been thinking about it for myself for a while now, but like MC said, everything I have read about depression has been "can't get out of bed, sad" stuff. Mind you, for the past month that's been me 100% in a way I've never felt before, but before that, it was the angry all. the time. for no tangible reason. My doctor is a jerk and I need to find a new one that i can talk about this stuff with. Thank you for this post today.
Finding the right doctor is a huge part of getting help. But it is definitely worth the effort. Good luck!
After a series of incredibly stressful life events in 2016, and being a person who only takes the minimal amount of any medication needed, I had a bunch of health problems that weren't adding up. Heart palpitations which a cardiologist fismissed, throat problems an ENT said was general reflux (though I'd never had it), and several other issues I saw specialists for. Finally in december, I saw my GP and she asked if I had been stressed out .I looked at her and started sobbing out of nowhere. Uncontrollable sobs and just poured out my woes. I went on Lexapro and it changed everything! I was so much better to my kids, nicer to my husband, able to handle everyday life, etc. I thought I'd only be on for a few months but life threw a few more curveballs and every time I ever thought about going off ifIget a knot in my stomach. Finally a month ago I decided to start tapering extremely slowly. I'm at half a dose now and I can tell a difference but the good news is I can also tell that I can handle things better on my own. I'm able to respond calmly to my kids even when I really want to wring their necks. I was someone who thought I'd never need anti-anxiety meds but I am so grateful I've had them.
I got on medication for my family for exactly these reasons about 16 months after my youngest was born. I'm still on it 3 years later. Sometimes I feel guilty I'm still on it. But you know what else? I get so frustrated when people talk about all the Latter-day Saints (did I do that right?) who are on anti-depressants like it is some horrible thing. Guess what? Life is hard. At least we are seeking out help. Also we don't self medicate with alcohol. I truly believe if more of us drank we may not need anti-depressants but WE DON'T. So we do need that extra help so we aren't raging at our families all.the.time. And that is ok, right?
If my mother had access to anti-depressant or anxiety medication decades ago, she probably wouldn't have been an alcoholic. She was obviously self-medicating and I'm so sad for her. She wasn't happy, her life hadn't turned out the way she envisioned, her marriage falling apart, and her family on the other side of the country.
Thank you Miggy for your honesty and openness. So many times social media only highlights the carefully curated "perfect" and happy parts of life. This makes your blog so special to me, life isn't always sunlight and rainbows, and you share that with us.
Thanks so much for being vulnerable and sharing! Would you mind sharing how you searched for your therapist? I have recently (in the last year) started seeing someone for grief therapy. She is not the right person for me to see long-term, but I get so overwhelmed in the search.
Also, as a note, my therapist did say that anger is generally a sign of depression in most men. I'm thinking it is probably a sign of depression in a lot some women as well… at least it has been for me.
This is hitting close to home for me, too. I remember when my oldest was about 3 and my youngest not quite a year old and I was just FURIOUS all the time and I didn't like anyone in my house and it didn't occur to me that I was depressed. I've been depressed before, hospitalized even, and medicated, and all of those times I felt the deep sadness, the lack of motivation, all that kind of thing. This was different. Going to therapy or on medication probably would have helped; instead, I went back to work and we had a daycare and then a nanny and then my husband quit his job to stay home. I've been the breadwinner for almost three years now and it's done wonders for our entire family.
But on weekends, when I'm with the kids…the noise and chaos really gets to me. I ruined our last day of vacation this summer with yelling. I do not feel patient and loving, and my time with the kids is so limited because I am at work or traveling for work. I hate that my limited time with them is spent feeling frustrated with them. I don't feel sad-depressed like I have in the past, nor do I feel anxious/angry-depressed like I did my last months as a SAHM…but maybe there is something else there that a therapist could help me work through.
Thanks for sharing.