We are renovating a 1961 mid century home and gutting it from top to bottom. In addition to be a dream house, it’s also going to be an accessible dream house. You can follow along from the beginning here and here with bathroom inspiration here and here, and kitchen inspiration here. I snapped the above...
Hi! My name is Teal, and I’m going to tell you about my youngest daughter Ashlee. She’s a really special little girl with some really special struggles, but she’s almost always got a smile on her sweet face. We live in Mayfield, KY with my husband, and her 3 siblings. I’m excited to give you...
The day before Halloween was a near perfect fall day with blue skies and a slight chill that gave way to a warm afternoon that had parents peeling off their sweaters at school pick up. “Why can’t Halloween be today?” Many of us bemoaned as rain was on the forecast for Halloween. And it did...
This post is sponsored by Magination Press Family who is dedicated to growing healthy minds in kids and teens. As always thanks for supporting sponsors here on TLM as it allows me to keep creating content I care about. All opinions are my own. Remember in the original finale of Gilmore Girls (spoiler alert!) where Rory...
Hi, my name is Sasha. I have a hilarious husband and five awesome kids, including two little girls, Zoey and Ruby, with Down syndrome!! Our life can be a little loud and super crazy, I wouldn’t have it any other way! Homeschooling keeps me quite busy, but I also like to do creative/crafty stuff and...
My favorite purchase from last fall was this enormous sweater pictured above. It’s an XS and still so outrageously huge. People compliment me on it often and my go to line is something like, “It’s just a wearable blanket really,” and then we both chuckle in that way you are forced to chuckle when an...
Hello everyone. I will take a second to introduce our family to you before we get started. My name is Anna, I am 26 years old, married to my best friend, Justen Brown, and we have a 20 month old who happens to be our ray of sunshine. Her name is Emery and she’s just...
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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I always appreciate how clear and thoughtful your posts are. Thank you for taking the time to do this blog. I have learned so much from you.
Thank you. Truly. THANK YOU. It has taken so much time over the years, and I absolutely love the work I do here, but it really helps to hear that someone else appreciates that work as well.
Thank you for posting this. I was just thinking about this yesterday when we had to "un-invite" ourselves from a family member's house because they told us their daughter was sick. When our daughter gets sick, she ends up in the hospital for a couple of days because of her metabolic disorder. So we made a change of plans, and it wasn't universally loved by our other children. It's hard and I don't have an answer for planning things for your family with an undercurrent of being aware of one person's needs more than the others. Thank you for trying to put words to this.
Yes, it is hard being caught in the middle. I understand where my other kids come from in their frustration sometimes, but I'll admit to not being patient other times. It has helped some to try and teach them that we strive for equity not equality.
As usual, beautifully put. Thank you Miggy, you always give me much food for thought, and a reminder to sometimes reshape my thinking.
Thanks Anon.
Um… regarding the cheerleading team, the pertinent question should be "Can she do the tasks required with reasonable accommodation?" not "Does she have arms?" If she can do the tasks required, whether she has arms or not shouldn't be an issue.
If she CAN'T do the tasks required… then demanding that the school give her a place on the squad because the poor little crippled girl deserves plums to make up for her crappy life strikes me as wrong and patronizing. The majority of girls in any high school aren't cheerleaders, so you can't say that it's an inclusion issue. Or claim that denying her a place on the squad means that "she can't do anything". There are a plethora of school activities she could take part in that AREN'T cheerleading. School newspaper. Prom committee. Yearbook staff. Student government. Drama Club. And many others I can't think of offhand.
Astrin–Well hello!
A) I love your passion. And point taken. We don't want the pity card for every little thing our sweet "crip" kids can't do.
B) This was something I read 8 years ago. The details escape me. This girl could have been more impaired to where she really couldn't or wouldn't be allowed to participate in other things–in which case their point stands. I *think* she might have had limb differences, but again I don't remember.
C) Again, having been on a squad not everyone is involved in a stunt and I think it is reasonable to make room for people of varying abilities in sports that haven't typically included them. Yes there are sports and teams for people with physical disabilities, but disabled kids want to participate on their school teams like their other classmates right? If we want the world to be more inclusive–jobs, housing, etc–and that takes some re-arranging and in some cases a complete overhaul of the status quo, than we should be expecting and preparing for some of that in our schools as well.
All for one, and one for all.
My youngest has Ds and a compromised immune system. I'm sure you can imagine the many scenarios that "limit" his siblings, who are just 7 and 5, especially during a Midwest fall/winter (I hear you, Michelle)!
In the past few months we've been dealing with some behavioral issues that I think stem from some the attention little brother gets. It's tough on them. My oldest seems to be needing A LOT more attention. It's been exhausting. I was lamenting/crying about this to my mother and she reminded me of what I have tried to say from the very beginning: it's not all about them. Or you or me, or my littlest. It's not all about any of us. I have friends (and even our pediatrician!) who talk about "fairness." As if "fairness" has anything to do with anything! That might sound cynical, but I really, truly don't mean it that way. There is so much joy to be found in putting others before ourselves, but doing so is not "fair" as we typically think of it.
Loving people is meeting them where they are. When we do our absolute best to accommodate others, in any life situation, but particularly for those who have little to no control over certain factors (like physical or cognitive disabilities) we all win.
That said, I see Astrin's point as well. One of my frustrations with the disability community is an insistence on what my son *can* do. Yes, in a million ways he is just like other kids, but in many ways he is not. There will be some things that he just can't do, and you know what? That is a-okay. He is still awesome.
Anyway, thank you for this post. I agree with Heather. You write so clearly and thoughtfully and graciously. I have learned so much coming here.
I overflow with admiration for you as you advocate for your children. If not their mothers, then who?!
God bless your family in your new home.