We need some curtains for our friendship room*. The single curtain hung sideways attached with a nail on one end and a paper clip on the other is losing it’s charm. I’m having a hard time finding anything I like in either curtains or fabric. I actually found the curtains of my dreams, but it...
Higher dad, higher! This one is our little dare devil. There is not a swing that swings high enough or a slide that slides fast enough. I have never seen this girl turn away from any amusement park ride that she is allowed on, and I have often seen her beg in disappointment to go...
What a fun girl! Hopefully Lamp will be more chatty by the time PSP is in kindergarten.
I wanted to tell you a girl I know in San Antonio went to Marble Falls this last weekend and stayed at the Horseshoe Bay Marriott. Sounded like a beautiful place (she compared it to Hawaii) and is only 1 1/2 hrs north. Maybe another nice weekend getaway…ReplyCancel
Someone is learning the art of verbal communication. She now points at the window and says side, side…as in, she wants to go outside. And she wants to swing. So dad jimmy rigged a seat belt and she swung Oh these two. To be honest she’s kinda turning into a little bossy pants....
I’m Ness, wife of J and together we’re the parents of three beautiful boys — Mack is 1, Bobo is 2, and Beckett is 3. We didn’t start having kids until our mid-thirties and my husband and I knew we wanted at least three, so we had them close together. Beckett made it easy to...
thank you so much for this. i may print this out and use it for a reference in the future. she says so eloquently what i have been feeling and thinking but unable to adequately express while experiencing my own son's autism adventure.
i really appreciate her use of the word typical. what a wonderful contrast to saying "normal". no one is normal, typical is just right.ReplyCancel
I have good friends whose eldest son is also autistic (and we're going to his 9th–NINTH!!–bday party today). Their early story was so much like Ness' it's eerie. They always felt so lucky, lucky that their baby/toddler slept so well, would sit through a full length movie, ride in a plane, all with perfect (and enviable to those of us who were sleep deprived and also socially deprived) behavior. Thank you for this spotlight on a more invisible special need.ReplyCancel
I really loved this and needed to hear some of the things she said.
That little Beckett is a delicious morsel of goodness.
I think being a mother is THE craziest, hardest, wildest, most outrageous, courageous, insane, wonderful thing any mortal could ever undertake. Ever. The end. Period.ReplyCancel
Ness- you're a wonderful writer. Thank you for sharing your story.
my nephew J. is autistic (PDD) & my mom mostly takes care of him so I get to see him a lot. it's nice to see his progression- as slow as it may be or seem. he's a little 4 year old who struggles to talk but is a really good helper & is pretty cheery most of the time.
do you do anything differently with his diet? J. is a terrible eater & my mom doesn't work to get him to eat better or take anything out of his diet that i've read that might work. any suggestions? i guess i could just call you… but your answer may help others as wellReplyCancel
Ness here. Thank you all for your nice comments. This has been an adventure to say the least.
Hello, Elsa Bags. We would like to amend B's diet, but as of yet haven't gone there. I know lots of moms have witnessed improvements in their child with a gluten-free/casein-free diet. B eats maybe 6 things — they're all healthful, but definitely contain gluten and dairy. So changing his diet would be nothing short of a nightmare. We are testing to see if he's allergic to gluten or dairy. And if that's the case, we'll get to work on altering his diet sooner than later and see what happens.
For now we are doing ABA therapy and slowing introducing various supplements into his diet that others have had success with. This stuff is hit or miss — works with some kids, doesn't with others. So I'm taking it slowly and trying not to overwhelm his system.
Lamp doing some serious tummy time in therapy. She is never on her tummy…so this is a big deal. Also, it’s a rare moment when I get to stand back and see her from the outside looking in. Some things in life can be categorized into “us” and “them” type situations. For example,...
I really love this post. While we don't have kids yet- or deal with special needs on a daily basis, you're blog has really opened my eyes- so thank you for that. I don't think I realized how much I was staring/being awkward/insensitive until I started reading your blog, Regean's blog, and you special needs spotlight. You know, you never think you are being *that* person until you really stop to think about it. The other day, I saw an amputee in a wheel chair and I made a conscious effort to make eye contact and smile- I don't say that in an "I"m so awesome way." I just say that because YOU are making a difference and I wanted to just encourage you a long the way. 🙂 "The answer is grace." Exactly.ReplyCancel
It's 5 am here in Utah and I've been awake off and on all night thinking about this same situation with my daughter. I too have been weighing the fact that I'm an insider now rather than an outsider looking in and trying hard to understand and grasp this new perspective. And it's hard. Like you, I want my little girl to have all the normalcy's that are just commonplace to others. And yet I have to accept that this may never be the case. So hard!
Your words were beautifully stated. Thank you for taking the time to write them out to share with us.ReplyCancel
Amazing post, Miggs:) Your girls are so beautiful, and deserve everything that is good in the world. I wish we were nearby so that we could have playdates, and watch Lamp and Audrey parallel play the way PSP and Graham used to. I wish they could be in Mommy and Me gym class together:) I miss you, and look forward to renewed friendship for our big kids, and deep friendship for our little ones:) XOXOReplyCancel
Seems like when we know and care about one of "them" we have to appreciate the fact that one of "us" could become one of "them" at any moment. It's easier to remember this with friends we love– it's harder, but also important, to remember this each time we come face to face with a new one of "them." Your blog is always reminding me of this and I'm so glad. I'm shy with new people but I think I need to get out of my comfort zone more, especially around someone who might feel like a "them."
Thanks so much for this post and for linking to that amazing talk! Sheesh, why didn't I think of that piano analogy before?? So beautifully simple.ReplyCancel
I have enjoyed reading your story, as well as the special needs spotlights. It helps gain understanding and perspective that the "us" people don't always understand. Like to look people in the eyes, etc. It's helpful, because honestly sometimes I don't know how to act, or what to say in a lot of situations. So here's my question. Being in the "us" category, (and maybe I read your post wrong), but what advice would you give to an "us" mom whose child is staring at someone different? I likely would have said, "don't stare, it's not polite" Do you find that offensive?ReplyCancel
I loved this post. I have had so many similar thoughts and feelings. IF it consoles you at all, in my journey from "us" to "them" I have found SO much more compassion and grace (on the part of the "us's") than I fear I ever showed or felt when I was one of them. (ha – these pronouns are mixing me up – which is maybe a good point itself) People are so very very good. There will always be bad apples, but I have a firm testimony of the genuine goodwill of most people everywhere. :> Have a wonderful weekend!ReplyCancel
Thanks everyone for your kind words. These posts are always a little scary–I put myself and my family out there a little more.
M-A-M: I hope you find help and support for this new change in your life. God bless.
Suz: Dude! We got to get the fam's together again. Sigh…wanna come to Texas? I know I've made it sound so appealing. 🙂
Deb: Love you.
And Giles–No, it's not necessarily impolite. I too have found myself saying the same thing to my daughter (not in a special needs sitch though). But I think for me, and for a lot of the moms, let the kids ask questions–let them come up and meet our children, see that they're "real," approachable and not scary or too different to interact with. And it's a great way to open up the conversation with the parents as well. But like I said in this post, I'm really not offended because I know what it's like–I was there. I know people are trying to do the kind thing, but I think taking the opportunity to let your children ask questions and inviting them to ask the mom/dad of another child is a great way for them to learn and for special needs families not to feel like the elephant in the room. In my experience I don't know of a special needs family that doesn't welcome open and honest questions.ReplyCancel
Such a great post, I agree one of your best. I am one of the married couples "us" without children. Being on the infertility journey really starts to bring out the "us" and "them" mindset no matter how hard i try to ignore it. I too wish that more of the "them" would open up about the struggle they faced when they were an "us."
Thank you so much for your honesty!ReplyCancel
Loved this post Miggs:) I can say I totally know what you're saying.. the "us" vs "them". I'm so happy that you are honest in your posting! I'll be honest, even when I saw you guys again in NYC it wasn't an "us" vs "them" cuz we were already in the same club before lil' Lamp… But it makes me ponder the way we act toward others without even really knowing it. Classifying ourselves and others naturally. Some of life's truly satisfying relationships come as surprises and I hope that I can be a little less "us" vrs. "them" I think it's really great that you talk about what you want for Lamp, how you want people to be and act toward her. It really just makes EVERYONE more apt to grow, learn, and love a little more easily when everything is just out there, honestly! You guys really are awesome… not in the "awesome for you guys… "…over there… kinda way! for real:)ReplyCancel
Miggs, you write well. And you're especially gifted at tackling these difficult topics and making your point without sounding insensitive. I love this post, and this is something I've thought about a lot. I remember watching segments on the news about autism and the increase in the number of children diagnosed before Beckett was born and thinking something like "Oh, that's too bad for all of those moms and all of those families (I'm going to use your words) over there." Never imagining for a moment it would one day be me. It's a little embarrassing, really, that I was so obtuse.
Thanks for sticking your neck out there and sharing your thoughts and ideas to open the hearts and minds of others.ReplyCancel
Amy, I am sitting here in my living room while Mags naps with tears streaming down my face. This is so beautifully written and insightful. Having been a teacher to those with special needs I have a narrow view of what some may never have, but nothing like what you as the mother feel. The "us" vs. "them" mentality is so perfectly worded here. I think you are such an amazing voice for so many and I love what you do and how you parent and who you are. thank you.ReplyCancel
Hi, I just discovered your blog via Mara Koefed's blog (I'm in her ward and her friend in Brooklyn). You are an amazing, inspiring woman. I have just spent the past 3 hours reading your blog and learning about your incredible story with Lamp. Thank you for the important work you are doing … as a woman, a wife, a mother, and blogger (sharing your story with such honesty takes guts!) I am so touched and inspired to be a better person.ReplyCancel
Perhaps I’ve been a little hard on you. I was not prepared to enjoy a warm, sunny and gorgeous day at the beach in October. Thanks for making our last minute getaway gamble pay off. We even found a mermaid! Isn’t she beautiful? And while our little Lampy wasn’t too sure...
Hey everyone, Migs here. I just wanted to thank you all for tuning in each week for our Special Needs Spotlight. I don’t know about you but I have found each and every story inspiring and enlightening. I love getting to learn more about the vast differences out there in the world as well as...
You have such a great blog. I so enjoy reading it and I love the idea of Special Needs Spotlight, especially since I have a granddaughter with special needs. Because of my older eyes I can hardly read the smaller print, even though I wear glasses. I don't mean to complain, I really don't, but I thought you might want to know since others may be having the same problem.
If you want to just delete my comment, it's okay. I'll understand. 🙂ReplyCancel
Miggy, thank you so much for sharing Rian and Maikke's story with us today. As a mom to a special needs young adult son, I so love to read about other moms with "special" kids. It just makes me feel supported, and I love to gain additional insight through their sharing.
Thank you, Rian, for opening up your life and heart to us! I am sending you and Maaike a big hug!ReplyCancel
Hello, I love reading through your blog, I wanted to leave a little comment to support you and wish you a good continuation. Wish you best of luck for all your best efforts. surgical equipment, hospital furniture in Delhi.ReplyCancel
Hello, I love reading through your blog, I wanted to leave a little comment to support you and wish you a good continuation. Wish you best of luck for all your best efforts. autoclave sterilization, portable suction pump.ReplyCancel
Hey, I'm Amy!
I'm an author, artist, and disability advocate. I live with my handsome husband and three beautiful daughters in Cincinnati, Ohio.
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while we're getting rid of giant misnamed chevron, can we also stop putting ruffles on everything?
there's an estate sale up past universal city starting today with an entire room full of fabric! i want to go to there.
and i pretty much have those curtains in green, so you could always come steal mine.
Hi,
I have similar fabric on one of my windows—it's actually a tablecloth but it fit the window.
Did you look at the patterns on Interiormall.com? They seemed to have some similar—like the Amsterdam in chocolate (item 132164)? Looked like most were $9.99/yd. Haven't ever used this site but looked like they had some similar patterns maybe. I googled "modern damask".
World Market has some cool curtains in fun patterns. Not if if they'd have exactly what you're looking for, but I love the store, I can always find something fun there.
I soo get the chevron thing. I guess that means we are playing on the same team. You know, the team that knows that it's actually a tartan and not really a plaid. It's all in the details.
Try Z Gallerie. They have a fantastic selection!
Jes–Absolutely–lets put an end to ruffled everything. And estate sale? fabric??? WHERE??? Details…maybe we should hit it up.
Shannon–Hmmm, that fabric is a little more damask than I want, which is why I like the pattern in the pic…but thanks for the site, I'll check around!
Amy–will check it out.
Rebecca–OK, now you must educate me–what is the difference between a plaid and a tartan? I'm such a heathen–You might not want me on your team afterall…
Anon–OK, not the first place I would have thought of, but I'll give it a look! Thanks!
so, on my grad student budget… I've used both sheets & a duvet as curtains. both easy. both cheap. both great patterns. chop, chop. I did stitch a lining into the duvet (Ikea) to give it the weight/depth I wanted. curtain clips from Ikea & Target are holding them to the rod, tho your skills can do pleats & grommets. PS — I love, love the room in your post!
Mod Green Pod by Nancy Mims has some awesome fabrics, and are out of Austin. But they changed their website and there isn't much information on their Home Dec fabrics (I love some of the Robert Kauffman lines, but not hers). Don't know if being in TX will give you better access to info. But her stuff is right up your alley.
Dang, my attempt at cheek never transmits well across state and internet lines. Plaid was orginally an article of clothing (I think a scarf or sash) but in American quickly became the descriptive word of choice for Tartan. So essentially there is no difference, just some history. And yes, you will always be on the team. It's just true.
Hi,
There are great tutorials for DIY Drop cloth curtains– you could get drop cloths from lowes/ home depot for cheap (I think 8-9 bucks per panel) and use a stencil and fabric paint to achieve a similar design:
DIY stencilled dropcloth curtain:
http://ironvioletdesigns.blogspot.com/2011/05/drop-cloth-curtains.html
Stencil source: http://www.oliveleafstencils.com/
Saw this on Pinterest and thought it was somewhat close without actually being close at all…
Good luck.
http://www.houseofhepworths.com/2011/03/24/aviary-fabric-by-thomas-paul/