After reading all your comments and emails two things have become crystal clear. 1) I’m not fooling anyone with this Miggy pseudonym–whether you know me in real life or not and 2) I absolutely feel the lifting power of your love and prayers. Strange as it sounds, it reminded me of having my hair brushed. I love having my hair brushed. I think it’s one of those universal things that all little girls discover at some point and trade off brushing each other’s hair for that soothing, relaxing and near-sleep like feeling. I haven’t had someone brush my hair in a long time, but as I sat and read and re-read your comments and emails I felt that very same soothing and relaxing feeling that in the moment reminded me of getting my hair brushed. It was a tangible comfort. So thank you.
Secondly, I just want to give a more accurate description of how we’re doing and coping day to day. I think some people might have the impression that I’m laying in bed all day, the curtains drawn with much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. The truth is, I’ve been doing pretty well on the whole. I’ve had some hard days here and there, as has B, but overall it’s life as usual right now and mostly I feel pretty good. Partly because we don’t know the fullness of our situation I’m sure, because I’m definitely holding out for what I consider to be our best case scenario and realistically I know we’ll have more hard days ahead as more information comes. It’s also helped to talk with or hear from friends and family–especially those who know. I feel peace and comfort in our prayers and the prayers of others and it certainly helps to have a loving partner who lightens the load and shares the burden so to speak. Additionally, I feel a lot of love for my sweet little Lamp. I think that is what I want people to know the most… while I grieve for the circumstances of our daughters life, I don’t grieve that she is our daughter. Regardless of the outcome, I love her.
To sum up, thanks again and keep the prayers coming. It helps.
Love,
Am Miggs
Hair brushing = genius analogy. Really.
And I love what you said about your state of being (so happy you're doing well!). Sometimes it's tricky to convey how things are really going and be realistic, but tell people (esp with typed words in email/blogs) that you're not suicidal.
Anyway, so glad to hear you're feeling the love and support. It's all about love and support no matter how small or huge our trials are, right? What would we do without friendship? without our husbands? without our babes? without the gospel?
You are such an example of faith and strength to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you and B continue to feel how much the Lord is aware of you and the peace that comes with knowing that. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.
So I just read through the last few blogs to get myself caught up. The DNA makeup of baby Lamp is incredible because of you and B. She is going to be an amazing gift to you and to the world. My friend just had a daughter with spina bifida, and guess what!!! she is beautiful and amazing and has touched so many people's lives. May the gentle touch of the Master's hand be laid upon you and your family. There is much love being sent your way.
I am anxious to get to work tomorrow so that I can email you again. I am not sure why I like to do my emailing at work so much, but I love it for some reason.
You are really out-doing yourself here. Impressing me more and more every day with the stellar woman you are. I can't wait to see you and b and bean with little lamp.
The thoughts you've shared have been beautiful. You're so brave, and yet so real. Thank you for your example.
I have to apologize that I have not gotten on your blog for so long and that I am just learning about your wonderful baby Lamp. You are in our thoughts and prayers. I am so glad that you are surrounded by people that love and support you, I wished that we were there for you like you were for me on one of the hardest days of my life. We just love you guys and think that you are amazing.