My Weekend Alone

I think I speak for all moms of young children, when I sometimes look at my adoring little family and think, “I wish they’d get the frick out of here for a few days.” It’s the dream really… to have a few days alone in your own home. Especially if you’re a mother that also happens to work from home–like I do–and you have a hard time getting anything done because the second you hear those little feet (or in my case, also wheels) heading toward your door, your eyes close as your neck muscles tense up. Again? Didn’t they just ask for scissors like two seconds ago?

Last weekend that dream came true and I spent the entire weekend HOME ALONE. (queue me with my hands on my cheeks screaming into the mirror a la Kevin McCallister style). My husband took the girls to go visit his sister and her family for the weekend, which was a win/win all around! The girls got to see their cousins, and my husband spent time with his sister who is also one of this best friends. (Admittedly, I was sad to miss the family fun as we always laugh until we cry when we’re together.)

My weekend alone was so that I could get some good work done, in solid blocks of uninterrupted time. But I also wanted time to relax as well.  I find that I have to be as intentional about my relaxation as I am about work, or it won’t get done properly, as too often my “relax” time can get hijacked by endless scrolling or clicking on news sites. I have learned to recognize that irritating I’m-not-working-but also-not-quite-relaxing middle place also known as mom purgatory.

Here’s my recipe for a productive and relaxing weekend alone:

Make a Flexible Work + Relax Schedule
Since I make my job up as I go, I can sometimes get easily overwhelmed with knowing exactly what to do and when. Therefore it helps to write it all down and tackle the most pressing tasks or the most intriguing tasks first. For me, the flexibility is key. It keeps from feeling overwhelmed or trapped by certain less exciting/fun tasks, but ensures they eventually get done. Additionally, I didn’t go into the weekend expecting everything to be checked off the list. Again, flexible.

Just as important as a work list, was a relax list. It’s just too easy to get caught up in scrolling, or endlessly looking for something to do, but never actually doing it. Additionally, I sometimes find myself dreaming of a morning on the patio sipping hot tea or a cool drink–depending on the season–and writing in my journal or reading a book of poetry but I rarely make time to do the dreamy-slow thing. So I write it down and give myself time and permission to do something that would usually feel indulgent.

Again, I find it helpful if this list is flexible and gives me a lot of different ideas for ways to spend my downtime. I even included organizing my closet and bake something just because. Neither of which I did, but if I had felt in the mood, those would have been great ways to chill out and do something I don’t usually get to do while listening to a podcast or audio book.

Plan Food Ahead of Time
I’m not going to have a great weekend if I don’t eat good food and I certainly don’t want to spend my precious time grocery shopping and doing meal prep. So I made sure to have plenty of good stuff on hand, and I did any pre-cooking that I needed to ahead of time. For example, I love roasted veggies in my salads, so I roast them ahead of time so that when I make my salad it’s ready to go.

Do a Family Pick Up Before They Leave
I don’t know about anyone else, but I cannot relax in a messy house. I by no means did a deep clean, but I did ask that everyone help me pick up the house before they leave. I didn’t worry too much about my kids rooms, but all the major rooms were picked up and ready for maximum relaxin’. The dishwasher was slowly filled up over the couple of days everyone was gone, so there were never any dishes in the sink and it was so lovely for the house to just stay clean. That alone felt heavenly.

Spread Out
I don’t normally hang out in our family room, but I did last weekend. It was freshly picked up, the pillows on the couch just the way I like it… and totally quiet. Same with our office, which is finally finished (high fives!) I wanted to spend some time in corners of the home I’m usually not in because… why not? Change of scenery? Yes. Also, there is a greater feeling of freedom when I’m home by myself. I can work out in the open and know I won’t be disturbed, vs. staying in my studio–which I love–but also because when I shut the door, that’s a way to let everyone else know that I don’t want to be disturbed.

Flip Your Mindset for the End of the Weekend
One of the problems I’ve discovered (created?) from working at home is that I tend to view my kids as a distraction from my very important work. This past year of Covid was especially challenging for all working parents who tried to juggle the impossible of working from home, while being full-time caregivers. I want to acknowledge that my income is not essential to our family’s financial stability, and in that way I certainly had a lot of privilege to be able to put most of my work on the shelf last year, so I could tend to the needs of our family. However, my work is important to me and my family for many reasons outside of finances. It’s incredibly important to me personally. This past year a lot of momentum was lost, as well as partnerships, and other opportunities. It was frustrating and a little soul crushing at times.

But my family will always be my number one and I’ve realized that  too often I’ve made it a “my time” vs. “them” mentality.  A zero sum game where I often feel frustrated for “not having enough time” to myself and therefore resentful of the time I spend with them because I didn’t get enough “me time.” That’s not a great mindset to chose to be stuck in. I will not always be perfect about it, but I can definitely do better.

As my weekend alone was coming to a close I was afraid of those familiar “it’s never enough time!” feelings creeping in, and I didn’t want to feel that way. I wanted to be as excited for their return, as I was for their departure. Just because I’m with them most days, it’s easy to think of the time away as THE BIG EXCITING THING. But don’t let proximity and familiarity fool you–our families are the real BIG EXCITING THING. Rest and recharge is important, but so is welcoming my family home with open arms.

So instead of waiting in the house trying to rush around enjoying my last few minutes of peace and quiet–which can create an unwitting sense of dread–I went outside and waited on the front steps with August in eager anticipation of my little brood coming home. As they drove down our street and up the driveway I was smiling and waving, so very excited to see my weekend alone come to an end.

Do you also dream of time alone in your home? If you had the choice between a weekend getaway by yourself, or a weekend home alone by yourself which would you choose? Since this was a “work” weekend, I definitely wanted to be home alone by myself, but I wouldn’t be opposed to a dreamy cabin or lake house for a weekend either. Although, admittedly, I’m a bit of a scardy cat and think I would have a hard time sleeping in a location if it felt too isolated. Any other tips or ideas I missed for a weekend alone? I know some people would crave getting together with friends, but for me–this weekend was all about recharging ALONE. Hashtag introvert.