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Whew… is this thing still on? Hey guys, it’s been a while. My site has been undergoing some maintenance, and also THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END.
Mostly (not) kidding. Like many of you I’m having a hard time concentrating on much for more than a few minutes at a time these days. Last week and for the foreseeable future I will have the kids home with me 3 out of the 5 school days a week for hybrid learning, which I don’t really mind. They still get some time at school each week, but with half the kids in class they are even more safe. Additionally, on the days they’re home we’re rolling out of bed around 8, grabbing a quick bite before they log on for the day. And for school itself they’re all pretty self-sufficient, Zuzu being the one that might need my help a couple times throughout the day.
However, the fact remains that with them here at home I get less work done. Creative work is pretty difficult to do when you have to jump in and out all the time. Therefore, even if it’s just 1-2 times a day, my brain is constantly anticipating the interrutpions and therefore I hold back, never really getting started. But it’s OK. I don’t have many pressing deadlines at the moment, and have given myself a lot of grace and space to show up online as much or as little as I want.
(Sidenote: Have you watched The Social Dilemma yet? I hope you take the time to watch and I hope we can come up with some global solutions and guidelines as we continue to navigate life with social media. I’m still mulling over much of what was discussed in the documentry, but one clear takeaway for me was I am so glad that we still haven’t given our children phones and/or access to social media.)
Overall, as the election gets closer and closer and as we continue to ride the wave of the pandemic, social distancing and all the ramifications that have come with this turn, I am still struggling to maintain focus and concentration. While I haven’t felt as anxious lately, the news cycles surrounding the White House circus, continue to throw me for a loop. Just think, in one week we had the shocking (and also not-so-shokcing) reveal of the President’s taxes and enormous debt, followed quickly by his typical but always disturbing behavior at the debate which was especially highlighted by his refusal to denounce white supremacists, followed quickly by the news of him and many of his senior White House officials getting Covid. That is ONE WEEK in Trump’s White House. Any of those alone would be the story that swallowed an entire administration. Of course now we’re back down to the normal stuff like the arrest of 13 men who threatened to kidnap the Govenor of Michigan and take over the capitol building. Sigh.
Yesterday, my husband and I decided to vote early. I’ve never voted early before. In fact I’ve always voted on election day, in person. There has never been a ridiculously long wait and I never felt panicked about making sure my vote will count or that all votes will count. I’ve also never been worried that there will be a clear winner and a loser who conceeds peacefully. My gosh, what a time to be alive… how quickly it can all unravel.
The one thing I feel that I have stopped doing is trying to convince others how dangerous, wreckless and criminal Trump is. If they don’t see it by now, they don’t want to see it. Or (and I think this plays a big role), they are completely immeshed in one-sided misinformation, otherwise known as propaganda. (And yes I realize they think the same thing about those of us who denounce the President, but I believe in truth and it can’t go both ways.) Either way, I see just how powerful misinformation, twisted opinions and even the “right” policies can be in cementing people’s opinions. There are too many people for whom there is no low too low to sway their opinions about President Trump, and I have stopped trying to waste my energy convincing them otherwise, even as I remain disapointed.
However, I still feel it is as important as ever to speak up and let my opinions be known. One reason is that whenever I say something on my Instagram stories about my political opinions I often get messages from other–usually white, LDS women–who say, “Thank you! I feel like I’m going crazy because I feel like I’m the only one in my family/ward/town who doesn’t support Trump!” It is SO important for me to let these women know they are not alone. They might be outliers where they live, but they are not alone. If you are one of these people, I’ll say it again, you are not alone.
The second reason I still speak up and share my opinion, is that I want to have a clear record of where I stood on this Presidency and this time in history.
That’s all I have right now. How are you? Holding your breath until after the election? I feel hopeful for a Biden/Harris victory, but so cautious as well. Anyone else still having trouble concentrating, working, sleeping, being productive? Any other feelings you’d like to share? I’m here for it. Please share. (Unless it gets rude… I will delete any comments I deem inappropriate.)
I’m going to early vote for the first time, too. I’ve too always gone on Election Day, but this year I’m taking the day off work to get in line bright and early for the first day our state has early voting. I feel the same as you, so hopeful for Biden/Harris (and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the the number of Biden/Harris yard signs in my red county, hopefully that’s foretelling of the rest of the nation) but cautious as well. Also having trouble concentrating, working, sleeping. This presidential election is stressful enough, so much riding on it, and then throw in a pandemic, virtual learning for my kids, working from home (I do know I’m very fortunate to have that option, but I also miss the energy of being in the office) and I so often feel I’m swimming against the tide. A Biden/Harris victory could be my life raft.
Us girls all loved the book! We read it twice, it inspired beautiful conversation, and my seven-year-old wanted to read it by herself after I had read it a few times to them. Wonderful book!