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View of the George Washington bridge from our apartment.
Have you ever heard someone say, “Everyone should ___________ at least once in their life.”? As I was checking out this cartoon series about Magical Things I’ve seen New York City the other day I had the thought, “Everyone should live in New York City at least once in their life.” Of course that’s completely not feasible, but in a weird way I think it should happen. And maybe not New York City, but a big city. Why? Well first, the people. NYC draws the most interesting, creative, brilliant, crazy and beautiful people. We lived in NYC for 4 years and the friendships I made there are ones I still treasure.
Also, it’s a different way of living. I had assumed that “the big city” meant life was more, more, MORE. But I was surprised to discover that living in NYC meant living in a very simple way. Small apartments mean that you can’t have too much stuff. We never bought a single piece of furniture without thinking very hard about where it would go and what we would need to get rid of in order to accommodate it. And not just furniture, but dishes, sheets, towels, baby toys… I remember someone (not living in NYC) buying me a wipe warmer for my first baby and I was like, “I don’t have space for this!” and returned it for something else. (Although the gift was lovely and I appreciated the thought.) Also, I found that I’ve known our neighbors and neighborhood better in NYC than in any of our suburban homes. Since almost no one has a back yard in New York, the parks and the streets are every ones back yard and you see and hang out with people much more frequently on a daily basis than in a quiet neighborhood street. I never felt isolated as a mother with a newborn baby in New York, but I have felt that way when living in the suburbs of San Antonio and Cincinnati.
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My husband in front of a Chuck Close painting.
Lastly, the art! The culture! Where do I even begin? There is always something to experience on a world-class level in New York City. While I still haven’t seen Hamilton, we were able to see In the Heights with Lin-Manual Miranda which we loved, especially since we lived in the Heights at the time. We also saw Wicked, All my Sons with Katie Holmes, Dianne Wiest and John Lithgo and many, many more plays. I’ve been to tapings of Martha Stewart, the Daily Show and David Letterman (although those last two were before I lived there.) My first year in New York I had a pass to the MoMA and went there often. Of course we also went to the Met, the Guggenheim and other amazing museums. Also, you never know who you’ll meet in the Natural History museum. And don’t even get me started on the food. THE FOOD. Cheap + good, expensive + good, unique + good…it’s all there! I once heard that you could eat at a different restaurant every night for your entire life in New York City and I believe it.
Besides living in New York there are a couple other things I think everyone should do or experience in their life. 1) Everyone should have their heart broken at least once as I believe it helps breed compassion, humility and resiliance. And 2) everyone should be a server/waiter at least once in their life.
Your turn… Everyone should __________ at least once in their life.
I think everyone should work/volunteer in the service industry!!
Yup, that’s what I was going to say! So humbling (although I recognize that working at a counter for a summer isn’t the same as doing it long-term)!
Everyone should* live in a foreign country at least once in their life.
Everyone should study/work at something purely for fun at least once in their life.
*If possible!
YES. I wish I had lived in a foreign country. Almost did. Sigh.
Living overseas in a non-western country is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. It made me a better person and made my thoughts and life so much broader and richer (even though parts were hard and some days I wanted to scream – but then, now I do in America with Trump, so… ;)). 10/10 would recommend.
I agree with yours. One of mine is: Everyone should *work in the food service industry – more specifically, be wait staff.
Yes–that was my 3rd one and I couldn’t agree more. I remember waiting tables in college and then coming home to my family one summer and I was horrorified at the fuss they were putting up at a restaurant for not being seated as quickly as they would have liked. They were mad that the 5 of us were seated after 2 people who just got there… I tried to explain how much easier it was to seat a 2 top vs. a 5 top… FOOLS!
Ooooh, yes. A serving job. That’s a good one, and I totally agree.
One of mine is Own A Pet. Everyone should have a pet at some time in their life. Preferably as a kid, because I really and truly believe that having and loving and caring for an animal is such an important experience for kids. I think it teaches a kind of compassion that’s hard to articulate.
I’d have to think long and hard about what my others would be. Travel, experience the world in ways you don’t get to at home. Go adventuring.
Funny, as I was writing this and our dog August was in the room I thought a pet should be on this list as well. I agree with loving and caring for an animal as a kid has a certain magic to it. Good one.
Everyone should try a new experience without a friend or someone you know from before. It’s humbling and scary, but so rewarding
I’d say everybody should do a cross country trip at some point in their lives, stopping at as many national parks as possible. It is an unbelievable experience and each and every national Park is special and amazing.
I love this Patti! Althugh I’ve taken many, many road trips in my life I have never done a cross country one… it’s gotta go on my bucket list.
Cairo. That is my big city. I can’t stay away from her. 1100 years of human loving and fighting and building. She is magnificent. And I equally love the empty places it has been my privilege to visit. Everyone should have the chance to be alone in a truely magnificent setting. For me–that place is in Bears Ears. I go there every chance I get for more than 20 years.
There just isn’t time for all the things to do. But I’m thankful for mine.
I love everything about this comment. I’ve never been to Cairo, but WOW… I want to now. Also, yes to being alone in a truly magnificent setting and I love your last line. There just isn’t enough time to live all the versions of an amazing life, but I like mine too.
I go with travel. I was lucky enough to live in four countries other than the one I call home, but that’s not feasible or desirable for all. But just travelling outside your hometown. Preferably another country, perhaps one very different than your own, but at least leave the state you were born in. It’s always eye opening and I think builds appreciation of diversity and difference.
Also, the work in service / retail / food services. Seriously builds compassion and character, ?
Yes. I didn’t get the chance (yet) to live in another country, but I always considered my time in Hawaii as my living abroad. Such a different and unique culture from anything I had ever experienced when I was 19 years young. Also, so jealous of your 4 countries!
So much to say. I clicked on the link and read about meeting Ryan, how fun! It would’ve been even funnier if he said hey girl…
I like how your eldest blog name was sparkle pants! Is there a story behind that?
Re the actual question I agree with the pet, live in another country and waitress. I’ve done all!! In fact I lived in Switzerland to work as a waitress in a different language. Such an experience! What would I add? I don’t know!!
You lived in Switzerland as a waitress? That’s sounds dreamy. (And probably hard.)
So glad you really “get” New York. Definitely have a dog! I have had other pets and love them all but dogs teach you patience, bring you joy and oh so much love (and having don in nyc really makes you be part of a fun and weird community). Another thing is international travel and I don’t mean Europe or Australia. Somewhere outside of your comfort zone where not everyone speaks English and you have to connect with people “non-verbally”. Gets down to basic human interactions.
When my husband and I were first married we traveled to China. My aunt and uncle lived there so we weren’t totally on our own, but on the days we WERE on our own, man…it was really humbling to get places and order food with a stiff language barrier. Also, we got to travel with my uncle and his family into some remote part of China and that was an unforgettable experience…
I completely agree with the food service job. I’ll throw in retail too. So many young people now go straight into internships, in offices, no nights, no weekends, and no customers to please. I’ve told my kids, “one year of food service or retail”. You really learn how to WORK.
That’s a great point—I did both and to this day I try not to mess up those folded clothes on the tables too much… sometimes I even take a few minutes and really straighten everything back up if I go through the pile.
Travel internationally for sure!
Yes. Absolutely.
I think everyone should travel *alone* at least once in their life. It can be a road trip somewhere local (I recently went drove to Sedona alone. It was magical) OR something bigger (I backpacked alone through Central America for 8 weeks when I was 20. It was life changing.) There’s something really special about being on your own, exploring, and just having the space to really THINK.
I LOVE this one. I have never gone out of the country alone, but I think I would love to. Even my solo trips to Nebraska to visit my grandma felt like a special gift to have that time to myself, driving through familiar landscape and backroads.
In addition to all of the suggestions already shared is one specifically for white people in America: put yourself in situations where you are the minority. Notice how you feel. Really helped me to understand white privilege.
I love this.
Something we could all do a lot more.
i agree with all of these! (minus maybe the pet one—just cannot do that one. but i do have plants, which i thought i could never do, so maybe one day…..). as far as living in a big city and in a foreign country, i totally agree—i am a totally different person than i would have been without those experiences. ditto for doing several cross-country trips and traveling by myself. i would also add going on a girls’ trip to somewhere new (i went to hong kong with some friends and also chicago). it’s such a different experience than traveling with your husband/family.