menu

So Close

Oh Texas…we were making some strides in our relationship, some real strides.  And then this weekend happens.
First up Ikea.  Or should I say, Ikillya.  Cuz that’s what it tried to do to us.  Apparently it was their first busy day of the back-to-school-year season.  The busiest time of the year! said one employee.  We left an excited, jovial and happy family of four ready to do our part to stimulate the economy and beautify our home.  We came back broken and defeated.  No longer able to cope, we started turning on each other just like a scene out of Lord of the Flies.  It was ugly.  But whatever, in the end it’s hard to feel sorry for people who had a hard time shopping and buying pretty things for their home.  Pathetic right?  Let me know and I’ll flip myself off for you.  
But here’s the real kicker.  
I’m already getting goose bumps writing about this….cockroaches.  Last night there was a cockroach hiding behind the soap dish in our bathroom.  Oh vomit.  I look down and see these reddish, brownish toy-like legs sticking out behind the soap dish.  They didn’t look real.  They were big enough for me to pause for a second and think Well obviously that’s too big to be a bug, but what could… and then the horror hit me.  That was a real bug.  It was big, but the sad thing is it’s not even that big for a Texas cockroach.  How do I know this?  Well after that near-death experience culminating in B shoe-smashing the roach and flushing it (don’t you throw that thing in the trash!  flush it!  FLUSH IT!) I decided I better go finish the dishes in the kitchen so we don’t attract any more creepy crawlies.  I’m cleaning, cleaning…then I open the door under the sink and grab the trash and crawling along the top of the trash can is another even bigger man-eating cockroach.  At least 2 inches long, possibly 3.  I screamed like the girl I am and once again B came to my rescue.  And lest you think I’m being a complete wuss, my husband conceded when he saw that barfy roach, Oh my gosh, that is a big one.  I can’t stop thinking about it.  I couldn’t go to sleep last night.  I kept seeing roaches in my bed, in my shoes, in my cereal, everywhere.  And I am mad.  I can’t believe we don’t get some sort of warning when we move here about pests like this.  I’ve seen small normal roaches and that’s fine.  But when they reach a certain size it’s a life changer.  I no longer feel comfortable in my home.  Everywhere I go I’m looking for roaches.  If there is a national registry for sex offenders, certainly there could be a national registry for pests and other animals that might make you not want to live there if you knew beforehand that they existed in your area.  Someone get on that.  
Sorry San Antonio, you’re back on my crap list.  
Add a comment...

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *

Let's be friends!